Saturday, September 6, 2008

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

Finola will be back next week with all her words.

The MRI and X-Rays came in and when the Dr. called and said come in NOW! I kinda had a feeling the news wouldn't be good. Actually the pain had been steadily increasing so I was prepared. Where there's pain there's fire.

Turns out the tendon damage is far more extensive than the Dr. assumed based on my mobility. I have "a tolerance for pain worthy of a linebacker". So says the Doc. Truth is something has hurt my entire life so well - it's all relative.

I have a cast on now. In purple!! Photos to follow once I figure out how to get downstairs. The Doc hopes that compression of the tendons will form enough scar tissue to fuse them together and get rid of the swiss cheese that is my ankle.

Since the cast is on my good leg, the leg that compensates for the scoliosis, getting around is a freakin' trip. I still have the outer boot to protect the cast and it allows me to drag my leg around. The problem is I'm leading with and depending on the side of my body that has more troubles than the Bush administration.

BUT ... I am nothing if not inventive. In less than 24 hours I have figured out how to get to a standing position by rocking back and forth and then propelling myself upward. I'll need to paint the house when this is all over but for now walls are my friend. If I lean against them and wiggle my ass while shuffling my foot I can create forward motion. Stairs are still impossible. I have mastered the one step down into the kitchen - coffee called to me - by hanging onto the door frame and doing a bungee jump maneuver.

Siren is happy to see the boot is still around but he doesn't know what to make of the hard purple shell hiding my leg. Mia is freaked out by the sight of me sliding and clumping, sliding and clumping. Since she's deaf I know it's not the sound of me. It is the sight of me.

Today I hope to come up with a better way of transporting objects. With a cane in one hand and the other arm flapping in the breeze for balance it's a bit difficult to carry much. Covered containers are helpful. It's also good to set things down on the floor and just push them along with the better foot.

I've always been an empathetic person so it's not a total revelation to me but I now KNOW rather than just know the challenges faced by people with physical limitations. When I left the Dr's. office I had to walk -uh - shuffle/clump/drag - about half a block out of my way so that I could go down a ramp instead of step/fall down the one step that was keeping me from my car.

Getting out of the car and up the 2 steps into my house required at least 250 expletives.

My laptop is my new best friend so I'll be visiting all your Wordzzles and I'm sure I'll have more stories to share as I shuffle my way through the days ahead.

For those of you trying to picture what my Friday was like ...


Cherie said...

Oh Dianne, that sounds like a trip. And I imagine that you're trying to get around more than than the doc would like. *Gives stern look*

If I but lived a little closer to you, I'd be over like a shot to take care of you. I'd be your personal PA, ready to absorb abuse and fetch lattes for you on a whim.

Take care of yourself there, girlie!


Mahala said...

Lawd I can't imagine. Try not to hurt yourself any worse! *hugs*

Sunshine said...

Oh no!!!
Hope you are totally mended soon!

Jeff B said...

If it's any consolation, the "wiggle my ass while shuffling my foot" visual you painted will keep a smile on my face all day now!

Do you have any friends nearby that can help you get some of the day to day stuff done for you?

Mend quick my friend.

aims said...

At least you have the cast on now and it will help the healing.

And laptops - thank you technology!

Now - accessorizing with purple might be a bit of a problem - but stay away from pink - it's so overdone!

Raven said...

Oh, my! I was afraid things were not so good. But you still maintain your wonderful humor. (I love the picure.)

Some suggestions for getting transporting things. Larger than needed bowls help me. Sometimes I put things into shopping bags and carry them that way but that can be tricky. Kicking them along the floor is good. I throw/kick my empties across the room so I don't have to transport them as far. I'll sometimes put things onto a chair and slide that. Chair also works as extra cane support. Sliding across the room on a chair can be good too but I don't have carpet, that makes it easier.

Anyway, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Glad you have a lap top and can stay connected.

Sending hugs and prayers

Bear Naked said...

Get well wishes and Bear hugs are being sent to you.
That picture by the way is priceless.

Bear((( )))

Sparkling Red said...

Yikes! That's rough. A woman I work with was recently in a similar situation, although she doesn't have to cope with scoliosis on top of living alone with a broken ankle. And she has a completely flat apartment. And she had a really, really hard time! I hope that you find continued courage to keep smiling through all of the ICK!


the walking man said...

Hmmmmm you do know Dianne that just because I got rid of some pain it didn't mean that you had to find it.
Drugs, not diamonds area girls best friend and a son who must now repay the birthing experience (with interest)sounds like a fairly reasonable plan.

You will figure out how to maneuver as you get more used to being captive to the capricious whims of cast and boot but I suggest as one who has worn not use a coat hanger or knitting needle to scratch the itc....oops maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that.

Rambling Woods said...

Dianne..I just got back from being out of town..I am sorry to read about recent developments with your leg..but I did give you an award on my blog...

Anndi said...

You really do push through anything life throws at you, don't you?

Hugs to you my dear....

Dianne said...

cherie - I really am staying off my feet 90% of the time, I promise. It would be cool to hang together :)

mahala - thanks!! I'm trying.

thanks sunshine :)

jeff - that made me laugh!! My son and his wife will be back soon.

aims - black is my second favorite color after purple so I think I'll wear flowing priest robes LOL
except of course I'll probably trip over them so ...

raven - thanks for all the advice - and care :)
pushing the shopping bags allows for maximum carry per effort LOL

bear - thank you, all hugs are gratefully accepted. Bless Marty Feldman! one pic of him = a thousand words.

spark - dark humor has always been a favorite and strength of mine so I think my repetoire will push me forward. thanks lady!

mark - you have no idea how many times I've thought of you and drawn courage!! I used a BBQ stick for the itch - once! just once!! I suddenly realized splinters aren't a good thing.

rambling - I'll be by to visit, thanks :)
and welcome home.

anndi - I guess I do lol
the early years with the wolves did have some training value ;)
thanks for the hugs, hope you feel better too.
actually I just realized I'm walking a bit like a zombie! how cool is that!?

Queen-Size funny bone said...

you poor thing. my husband broke a hip but couldn't use a walker or crutches because he also broke a shoulder. oh it was fun getting him around.

Kerry said...

OH my goodness! I hope you're all fixed really soon.

kenju said...

At least you can see some of the humor in it. I'm sorry and I hope it heals well and quickly.

Dianne said...

queen size funny - OH MY!! your poor husband! and poor you :)

thanks kerry :)

kenju - I can! at times it's almost deliciously absurd.

RiverPoet said...

Ouch! I sure hope you're feeling better soon!

Peace - D

Farmer*swife said...

Well CRAPOLA! That all sounds like a whole lotta' not so good! Try a backpack for carting stuff back and forth! ;-)

Jeni said...

I can so very much relate to your issues with the sliding/clumping and especially avoidance of stairs! From way back almost twenty years ago when I broke one tiny bone in my foot, requiring a "walking cast" for six lousy weeks to breaking my wrist (right hand, I'm right-handed) to herniated discs in my back, compounded pain there from arthritis and radiation residue.No the wrist didn't give me walking issues but sure did affect my mobility in terms of driving as I was not allowed to drive for the six weeks with that cast on and the whole mess almost got me fired from the job I had then too! (It was even a work-related injury too!)
I avoid stairs-steps, whatever, at all costs, whenever possible. My right knee like to play tricks on me and kind of send me forward -with no warning -and I really don't care to find myself lying at the foot of the cellar steps or from having tumbled down the stairs from the upstairs of the house either -or any other stairs, for that matter! And yes, not only is being incapacitated like that painful as all get out, the arthritis issues seem to compound after any other injury, large or small. I wish you good healing Dianne! You could maybe use this as a time to record the new curse words one can come up with when you are immobilized due to any type of injury ya know. By the time you're done with that, you might have enough words recorded to form a special book! (Curse Words for the Immobile -or something to that effect?)

fermicat said...

Wishing you a speedy recovery!

Mare said...

Wishing you a good night's sleep 'cause that will help you immensely. I am formerly from NJ, have 1 son, and have rescued a dog and cat! My last post tells of the cortisone shot I had to my ankle yesterday. I've never had a cast, but I have worn that silly boot enough times!
If you have a cane, you can put stuff in a bag and use the curved part of the cane to hook the bag onto it and holding the other side of the cane...drag the bag alongside or behind you.
Good luck.

Dianne said...

riverpoet - thank you :)

farmers wife - the back pack is a cool idea!! thanks

jeni - If this had been my right foot I wouldn't have been able to drive home lol
I'm considering just going down the stairs on my butt, certainly enough padding!! I have work down there and clients will call Monday morn.

fermicat - thanks!!

mare - we have so much in common!! I have done the bag on the cane trick, it works :)
I'll come by later, thanks mare :)

Tammy said...

I hope you get all well soon and I think a purple cast it totally cool!!!

MommyWizdom said...

It's true when you've had pain, your pain threshold is so much higher than normal... Anyway, I feel your pain. I had tendinitis when I was in college. I couldn't walk on that foot at all for three weeks plus. I had to shuffle/clump/drag my way through campus on crutches with books in tow, etc. I hope you get better soon. As far as transporting stuff, if you can, double up on stuff so you have the same items upstairs as downstairs. Perhaps not the laptop but as many things as you can. This diminishes the need to go up and down. Praying for a speedy recovery for you.

Richard said...

Dianne, I am sorry to hear of your physical troubles. Hopefully your doc has you on the right track.

In the meantime, write like a fiend, get good and drunk and when you fall down, blame it on the booze.

In addition, start a community theatre troupe and do the hunchback of Notre Dame. Play the leading role, get discovered, get a gig on a TV show, get your own series, let me write for it. Then when youhave more friends and more money than seems decent look back on this episode and laugh.

There; now that you have a plan, just execute.

Get better Girl.


Michael Manning said...

Diane: At Physcal Rehab, I am amazed at the stories of recovery. There is a gorgeous lady, 45 who has scoliosis an yet she is in terrific looking shape. Another woman of 50 runs the Boston Marathon and slipped on a concrete and metal step which resulted in a badly broken ankle. She is off crutches and plans to resume running. Another guys is 66 and he is fully recovered from a broken back thanks to our repoutation here in Phoenix for most intersection crashes in the nation. You are young and you will get back in the game too, dianne. I just know it! lol to you!!!!!!:)

Roger said...

You poor poor girl, at least you have your humor! I am sending you healing vibes to your shockraws


There you should be all better now!

Just let me ad this up hmmmm...
holistic healing sent over the internet totaling it all up you owe me a hug a kiss and a spanking
lol ;D

Get better soon Di!

Carletta said...

I was looking forward to Finola but this post was just as good.
First of all I am so sorry to hear there is more damage than originally thought.
'More troubles than the bush administration' - that was priceless. That and having to paint the walls.
I hope you find a little sense of humor every day to help get you through.
I'm sending wishes for a quick as possible recovery.

Reb said...

Dianne, I am so sorry to hear that your injury is so bad. If you have a really big scarf, maybe you could tie it like a sling to carry things with.

Hope you heal up fast.

Shelly said...

Oh mannn, I'm so sorry you're broken....I hate being broken so dang much, I really feel for ya. Golly, my paint muscles are ripped and ready - sure wish I lived just a teensy bit closer.
Heal fast my friend

bobbie said...

First - thank you for wanting to hug my daughter. Especially considering the shape you're in today.

I am so, so sorry you are in that shape. Been there, done that, so I know what it's like. I'm glad you have the cane. Consider a walker. Then when it's over, you can store it away until you get to be my age. Of course, carrying things while using a walker is just about impossible. We do come up with some pretty ingenious ways of doing things when we have to, as you have found already.

Sure wish I could be close by to help out.

Akelamalu said...

What a bummer, but you're very inventive in getting where/what you want. :)

Would you be better with an elbow crutch rather than a stick? When I was on crutches I used to hang a carrier bag on the crutch and carry stuff around. Of course it wouldn't work with a cup of tea!

Schmoop said...

I am so sorry you are hurting. I used to have to make those moves when I dislocated my I do it for fun!

CrystalChick said...

So if you have to have a cast, PURPLE was the best one to get for sure!!

Really sorry you're going thru all of this, but very glad to hear you're doing it with lots support and love from all your people here and your own wonderful sense of humor.

Healing wishes for the best recovery possible!!

Dianne said...

tammy - thanks. the purple is pretty cool lol

mommywizdom - I can't imagine running around school on crutches!! youth really is a perk isn't it!?
thanks for the good wishes and advice :)

rich!!!! - how the hell did you know my plan. You must be psycho - wait ...
thanks rich ;)

michael - thanks for the motivation, you're always good at that. and please feel free to repeat the 'you are young' part often.

roger - I FELT the vibration and it wasn't my phone!
a hug a kiss and a spanking eh?
all at once? or shall we drag it out ;)

carletta - thanks for being so loyal to Finola, she will return next week unless a building falls on me.
today I took a shower and used the giant cast protector so that will make a hilarious post in a day or so - I just have to laugh!!

reb - thank you! so many great ideas :)

shelly - I would love to be hangin' at the party barn, big ass purple leg propped up.
thanks lady :)

bobbie - you're welcome :)
the thought of Isaac's little face slamming into concrete hurt more than my leg. As I told her, Jeffrey spent years and years breaking, tearing, ripping, opening virtually every part of his body. It kills the Mom.

akelamalu - I'm considering a different crutch and/or a walker but the good news is that the better leg is feeling stronger today so getting around is easier today and I'm gonna stick to one moment at a time.
thanks for all the good wishes Lady!!

LOL schmoop - I'm getting a naughty picture in my mind - thanks!!

crystalchick - purple truly does make me happier! :)
thank you for the healing vibes.
all of my blog friends are the absolute BEST!

Ralph said...

Dianne, I would hate to be the object of orthopedic experimentation...even if it works! I've learned in my situation that I can't afford to drop anything that I need...or it will just stay there! You know that already, I'm sure!

The lack of coffee can make us do crazy things to obtain that needed jolt...

Thanks for the Kick Ass Blogger, it is now posted!

Hilary said...

Poor you! I wish you a speedy recovery and if you must wear a cast, then purple is THE colour!

Patti said...

I'm so sorry to read about your pain. But it's great that you have such a wonderful sense of humor. Anyone who doubts that just has to look at that photo of the late Marty Feldman. He was really funny.

I have two words for you: pain medication. I used plenty when I shattered my wrist four years ago.
I had to wear an interesting device.
I can send you a picture of it if that would cheer you up.

I finally acknowledged the kind words you posted about me and Ralph. Much appreciated.

Hope you are feeling a bit better today, since you posted this yesterday.


Jay said...

Oh man. That really sucks. Hope you're doing a little better today.

Loretta said...

Sorry this happened. I've came down stairs on my well padded behind. Sure better than falling again. Take care.

Pagan Sphinx said...

Hey, I'm impressed with your efforts! That's a lot of work!

You are so lovely and funny all at the same time!

As for the color of your cast: I would myself would take nothing other than purple.

Heal quickly.


Dianne said...

ralph - I did the stairs today so I could get to my office downstairs and halfway back up (which is harder) I did indeed drop something and that's where it still is!
and you truly Kick Ass!!

hilary - thanks so much :)

patti - shattered wrist! even the words sound painful.
thanks for all your kind words all the time

jay - sucks would be a step up lol

loretta - my head and my butt - the two places that could withstand a fall ;)

pagan - awwwww - thanks lady :)

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Well this sounds Horrendus, Dianne....! Trying tio get around sounds quite tiring, to say the lesst....
Many years ago I broke my foot and had a cast and crutches,,,So I couldn't carry anything in my hands. I created a kind of apron with a HUGE Pocket....Of course things had to be covered and inside small plastic containers....But it worked.
I'm not sure if that is an option for you, but it is an idea. Also, I tried using Plastic bags I could put over my arm, to carry some lighter things.
Much good luck to you, my dear.

CG said...

Ouch, you poor girl!! Take things as easily as you can, swear a lot and get well soon!!

Matt-Man said...

Good luck and healing to you and your swiss cheese ankle, Dianne. Cheers to ya!!

Dianne said...

oldoldlady of the hills - Horrendous is such a great word!! And it suits my Monday morning! I feel as though I'm taking 1 step forward and 10 steps back - literally and figuratively OY!

cg - thanks, trust me the swearing is on full throttle ;)

matt-man - thank you sweetie :)

Diane Mandy said...

Sorry for the bad news, Dianne! You are certainly one tough cookie! Hang in there!

Ivanhoe said...

Oh my, Dianne, that's not good. You just rest on the couch with your laptop, o.k.?
I had Mark sliding down the stairs on his butt for six months after he had his accident. He came up same way, pulling up every step on his hands and arms. We had accesible shower in basement. But then I heard about transition bench for the tub upstairs so i got it for him ;o)
I hope it heals fast, my friend.

Knight said...

I don't like this at all. How can we make it so you don't have to move and use stairs? I'm worried you will fall and make it worse. Where is the family? Want me to come do the chores for you?

Frank Baron said...

If it didn't hurt you so darn much, your description would be um...well...funny.

But I didn't laugh. Because that would be wrong.

Hope you heal soon. :)

Jo said...

When I got to the Quasi pic I laughed really hard...with you though, Sweetpea. I picture you cursing & laughing, shuffling & wiggling, and I just know you're going to be all have a beautiful way of making sure of it.

Still--what a royal pain this must be, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish I could whisk you away to a tropical beach with cabana boys to prop up your bootie & paint your toenails. You're in my thoughts XOXO

holly said...

i know i said i'd do a wordzzle, but i was at a comedy thing. really really i was.

i will do it this saturday, for promise and for true.
god i hope i don't suck.

Kimmie said...

Dianne, I am sorry to hear your foot is much worse. Welcome to my world. I know my walls, doorframes and have hit the floor a few times also. When the RA is bad in my hips and legs, it is impossible to get around. I can't imagine dragging around a cast and boot on top of it. You give good visuals! LOL!

Hugs to you my friend, I pray for a quick healing for you. :-)

SnoopMurph said...

Wow, Dianne, I am sorry to hear you are in so much pain. I hope that the cast will be helpful. Wish we could be there to help you out a bit!

You do maintain a great sense of humor amidst all your pain. I'll keep you in good thoughts. :)

Dianne said...

diane - I'm hangin'! :)

ivanhoe - thanks! Mark is lucky to have you

knight - you could come here anytime you want sweet girl. I'm managing. My son and neighbors are around and I'm stubborn :)

frank - it's never wrong to laugh with :)

jo - thanks sweet lucious! this shall pass and then something will suck even more ;)

holly - OK kid, I believe ya :)

kimmie - thank you! and hugs to you too

snoopmurph - just hangin' with Ian and Connor would be so cool :)

Ron said...

OMG, Dianne...even in your pain, your brilliant humor shines!

That last photo KILLED ME!

Sending you MUCH, MUCH, MUCH good energy with this comment, dear lady!

Know that you are LOVED!

Rambling Woods said...

Oh Dianne... I love your humor and so sorry that you are having a tough time....I hope you are finally getting the treatment that you need and that the cat adjusts...

Jackie said...

Erk - so sorry to hear this. A few years ago I broke my foot and so had it in plaster and wasn't allowed to weightbear - fortunately only for about a week and a half. Stairs defeated me too - I ended up going up on my knees and down on my backside! Sitting down on the toilet was an interesting experience too - try doing that when you can only put weight on one leg! I couldn't believe how much I took my mobility for granted until it was temporarily removed. So I understand, and hope that your tendons knit in an uncheeselike manner very soon!

Jackie said...

By the way, my 250 expletive moments are usually saved for when I have to bravely remove a huge spider from the bath. I don't know what it is but turning the air blue does wonders for my bravery levels!

Anonymous said...

Ah shit, Dianne... and here I thought I had problems. I'd tell you to "feel better", but after several recent trips to the emergency room at Good Samaritan Hospital in West Islip, NY, I've come to learn that that phrase means get out of here and come back when you have a real injury. So, I say take care of that leg.

Dianne said...

ron - I feel the energy! and I love ya too :)

rambling woods - thanks lady :)
Siren really doesn't like the cast. I think it's how hard and scratchy it is compared to all the velcro on the boot.

jackie - I've been going up on my backside lol!! I'm so absurd but sitting and then pushing up is by far the most comfy.
'turning the air blue' - love that! try to remember that spiders keep the creepier guys from settling in your bath.

spartacus - why are you going to the ER? I have to come check on you. It's all relative - each of us has pain that is unique to us and just as - well - painful ;)

Daryl said...

This is just wrong ... I dont know if anyone else suggested this, sorry but I didnt read all the other comments, BUT .. can the Doc get you one of this kneeling walkers? You bend you knee and rest it on a 'seat'like platform and then push it and hop along while holding on to handle bars ... it would take some of the stress off your other leg and back... AND I am sure they are covered by either Medicare or regular medical insurance .. the Doc needs to write it up for you...


Dianne said...

daryl - thanks for the suggestion! and the care :)
I'll ask him.

Minnesotablue said...

Oh Diane: So sorry you are having such a rough time. BUT you are a trooper and will get through this

Dianne said...

minnesota - thanks Lady!!
and yes I am and yes I will ;)

tt said...

Absolutely..get one of those knee walkers...for for upstairs..but out and about they're great! Perhaps a tote bag for other stuff...throw it over your shoulder??
Man, that just plain sucks! I'm sending you all my 'get well' energy!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would a big squeeze help??
{{{{{ squeezers}}}}} perhaps along with some wine???? or, what the hell...let's just go straight to the hard stuff..k?

DivaJood said...

I have tagged you, m'dear.

Lisa said...

Severe tendon damage? I'm so sorry, Dianne! You are such a trooper and have been through so much. I'll be sending all good vibes your way. Try to rest if you can though. I know, I know, no rest for the wicked. . .

Dianne said...

tt - the hard stuff and a squeeze was great!!

jood - I'll stop by

lisa - there you are again!! LOL
it's a red letter day. thanks Lady. I'm schlepin' along. Nana would be proud, she hated whiners.

Lisa said...

No one could ever call you a whiner, Dianne!! No way, no how! :)