Tuesday, March 17, 2009

When Celebrities Go Terribly ... Right

Yes I was once again watching ET – Dancing With the Stars brings out the worst in me – and I caught a segment that made me smile and feel a bit better about the nature of things.

Actress Pauley Perrette – I think she’s adorable – got married this past Valentine’s Day in a ceremony that “celebrates generosity and community”. She wore a $20 dress from a thrift store – in place of gifts she asked her guests to donate to 1 of 6 charities and she had a special cake sent to everyone who is part of a local food delivery service for people who are home bound.

Pauley and her husband also chose to have their marriage be a ceremony and not a legal proceeding as their show of solidarity with those who are not allowed to be married.

You can see a bit of the interview with Pauley HERE on the ET site although they left out the part about marriage equality and Prop 8. Pauley has written many articles about her stand and work against Prop 8 – if you’re interested just search her name HERE

I think part of why I’m responding to this story so strongly is that it comes at a time when I’m surrounded with plans for a baby shower that make me very uncomfortable. Talk about fancy restaurants and long guest lists, registering for expensive gifts, designer layettes, Pottery Barn for Kids – did you know there is an $1800 toy chest? Isn’t that special. Nothing says raise your kid to be a materialistic asshat like an $1800 toy chest. What goes in it? Gold? Maybe Bernie Madoff’s wife can hide out in it. Hey Grandma Ruth! Where's all the money?

I will admit this all makes me feel a bit alone and a little sad. I am such an odd duck in this family.

Anyway …

Congratulations to Pauley and her husband. If she ever needs a Mom she can call me.


Travis said...

I couldn't place the name of the actor. Thanks for including the photo. Of course I know who she is, but I didn't know her name!

As to your post, it is the positive actions in protest that are going to help get people to understand that equality means nothing if it isn't for all.

Kay said...

That is sooo nice to read!

If only other people were as giving as she was.... afterall, the wedding is just a party, it is the whole being married stuff that actually counts.


Linda said...

Perhaps she can start some sort of a trend with celebrities doing the right thing for a change rather than glorying in their "better than everyone else" status. Good for her and her husband!!

As for the $1800 toy chest ... are you kidding me? Why?? That's just absolutely crazy and in this day and age just totally ridiculous. People need to wake up and smell the coffee and realize it's Maxwell House - not Kopi Luwak!

Mrs. C said...

Wow, $1800 for a toy chest? Does it come with all the toys a kid needs until age 7? If so, maybe it's a bargain. Better snap that up, Nana. :]

Dianne said...

travis - you're absolutely right, positive actions say a lot

kay - that's how I feel - so much focus on one day when the point is the life and it's quality

linda - and she speaks so genuinely about it - none of that look at me, I did something good crap :)
she really is very special
and no, I'm not kidding - you should see the crib!! I could buy a car for that much

mrs c - toys in the toy chest!? but wouldn't that ruin the ambiance of the decor?

gabrielle said...

A my name is Amy and I come from Alabama and I sell apples...
Tinker toys, jacks, a spalding ball.
And the love that only a wonderful nana can bring.
You are the gift.

Anonymous said...

Hooray for Pauley and Hubby and hooray for you too! Ta so very much for sharing this. I think she's way cool.

We spent $500 on a lunch for 6 of us 3 years ago - that's when we were allowed to legalise our decade old relationship.

My sister, the religious nut, has had fortunes spent on all 3 of her weddings and more on the divorces I'm sure!

Perhaps that's why Mother couldn't afford to attend our ceremony, or send a gift, or a card, or even a phone call..... yeah, stuff is way more important than people, family and love.

Jay said...

I don't begrudge anybody anything. If they have it and want to spend thousands and thousands on a wedding then whatever, I don't care. But, I do think it's ridiculous. And even if I was a multi-millionaire I would never marry or even fall in love with any woman who demanded or felt entitled to a wedding like that.

If it's true love, and a true committment to taking two people's lives and making them one, then the simpler the cerimony the more genuine the relationship would seem.

And don't even get me started on these surburban housewives who think they have to spend hundreds and even thousands on their precious little snowflake's 2nd birthday part. Good grief!!!

Cloudia said...

"Maybe Bernie Madoff’s wife can hide out in it. Hey Grandma Ruth! Where's all the money?"

Great post! Your values come through admirably. aloha-

Sylvia K said...

It's really great to read about someone doing what Pauley has done! Renews some of my faith! Super post my friend, but nothing new there! You're always super!

Anonymous said...

Love that lil gal, Pauley! Bless her heart! She really puts the "grrr" in grrrl! Hmmm. $1800 toy chest. That's my mortgage and utilities for 2 months. Is it big enough for me, my girlyboi, 6 birds 4 dogs and 3 cats, maybe? Hehehe

the walking man said...

So if someone is desirable of spending $1800 on a soon to be born, wouldn't it be better for the kid to be registered at say a local bank? A CD perhaps or maybe the start of a fund to insure that saving becomes somewhat more important than a wide screen TV?

TO THORNESWORLD...You can pay cash for a house in Detroit for that amount.

Maithri said...


It is so refreshing to hear of this...

The number of times I have thought to myself how obscene it is the amount that is spent on weddings...

The world should know about this... This is the way to truly celebrate love...

Much love to you my friend,


Much love, M

Anonymous said...

This post was in the suggested list in Google Reader, which I usually ignore - but I clicked today and here I am. I don't know that actor's name, but I have a strange NCIS addiciton and she's my favorite character on the show. How refreshing to hear about her anti-consumerism wedding. That's truly wonderful. And yes, the toy chest is appalling. Gads.

Matt-Man said...

That's a nice story and I agree with you on the hoopla overdose, especially when kids are involved. Have a lovely day, Schweeetheart. Cheers Di!!

Bob-kat said...

I very much share your feelings here, especially about the expensive toy chest and the fancy restaurant etc. Surely it should be more about the new baby and parenthood than impressing people with the posh party and the fancy gifts. I think children are spoilt far too much these days and you are right, it can turn them into shallow and materialistic little brats.

I know exactly what it is like to be a lone voice in a family and it is just that - lonely (so much so that I have never seen my new nephew and am not invited to his Christening that all the family are going to next week, but I digress...).

I applaud the ceremony on this celebrity adn especially of her sytanding up for what she believes is right. I find it quite disturbing though, thta in a country of free speech that her interview should have these importnat views around Prop 8 removed.

Deborah Godin said...

Here here! Loved everything about this post! But I had to Google Pauley, I'm afraid. Never watched NCIS, for no other reason than you can't watch everything. Not it the Eastern time zone, anyway. Not enough primetime house in the evening!

Dianne said...

gabrielle - so nice to hear from you, I think of you all the time, we're kindred spirits ya know
I hope this Nana is up to the challenge, I'm going to try

rob - I'm sorry your Mom didn't attend, I would gladly adopt you and the - what do you call him? - the only one? I would do it in a hearbeat :)

jay - I don't begrudge either - but as you say it's supposed to be genuine. Now my son is talking about taking out a loan to pay for parties and my DIL keeps telling me I shouldn't worry about "not contributing" which of course is her way of saying I should. It's a fucking shower!! We have a big house, it will be spring, I'll cook - invite everyone - guys included and make it a party - instead it's all about wishing well decor and color schemes

cloudia - thanks :)
I'm trying hard to hang on to them when they appear to be endlessly scoffed at

sylvia - thanks!! I just had to share it since it was so genuine, you can see in the video how excited she was about what she did and how things matter to her

thornesworld - Pauley is most definitely a girl to say Brava! over ;)
I don't know if the chest can accomodate all that but when I win Lotto and buy my farm you're welcome to come with

mark - but really! you can't give people a tour of a savings CD and you can't color coordinate it with the rest of the room and you can't just happen to leave the catalog open so everyone knows how much it cost - I mean really - where are your values!!
I saw the thing about home prices in Detroit on TDS - that's just sad and wrong

maithri - I have been remiss in visiting, this disability process is eating up a lot of my time
I did send you an e-mail - hope you got it
think of you all the time
hugs sweet doctor

citizen of the world - I have never even looked at Google reader lol but it is nice to be suggested if it brought you my way
thanks for the visit - I have seen your comments here and there in this world of ether
I believe we share many common threads - I'll be by to visit later today :)
Oh - and I never watched NCIS until I saw Pauley interviewed and had to know more about her - she is delightful and plays quirky so well

matt-man - thanks for the support - I start to think I'm being a bitch - well I am a bitch - but not about this ;)
love you matty

bob-cat - I hope knowing me makes you feel a bit less alone, I know that you have made me feel better many times
to be fair to ET they did mention her Prop 8 stance and quote her on the actual show - I don't know why it didn't make the video segment - advertisers maybe or maybe just time constraints

Dianne said...

deborah - I know what you mean - she's on Craig Ferguson's show a lot - they are adorablde together and from her interviews I decided to watch NCIS for her - and well Mark Harmon does have a killer smile - I usually catch it on reruns though

Daryl said...

AND she's a sweet kid ... she once worked for a friend who at the time was managing a club in the Village ...

Cherie said...

She's a class act. :)

Raven said...

I've become a fan of NCIS reruns in the afternoon and besides the handsome Mark Harmon, Pauley plays one of my favorite characters. Now I have another reason for liking her.

I can not believe there are $1800 toy chests. Yikes. Better to put that $1800 into a college fund and the toys into something more mundane.

I'm excited for you about the baby shower - or really the baby that comes after the shower. How cool to be a grandma!

Tammy said...

That is so wonderful and caring of them. Kudos to them! :o)

Natalie said...

Hang in there, sister. I can totally understand your frustration. You want what's best for this little baby and see the wrong message being blared all over. This baby is going to be so special and so lucky for having you as a granny. He/she's gonna listen to you and look up to you and take their moral cues from you. Children have a keen sense for authenticity and he/she will be drawn to you. Your black sheep status will draw him/her even closer.

Bond said...

As Travis said, I had no idea who you were referring to until I saw the picture.

She and her husband have sent out a great message. Good for them! And good for you for sharing with us!

Shelly said...

Love her! Her work is amazing, her part on the show and her delivery of lines is just fantastic. To read this about her is just the frosting on the cake - what a cool kid, can I adopt her? lol
Oh... Bergies trip to the doggie park was hilarious, the dog people was almost as funny as the pups.
Berg thought there were a lot of obnoxious dogs - she ran back to me a lot with a look on her face that sorta said "did you see what that freak just did?"

Sparkling Red said...

That's awesome! I've never heard of this celebrity, but I'm a big fan already.

Bob-kat said...

That's a relief Dianne. I am ever vigilant where free speech may be compromised and where the media may have other agendas!

Ivanhoe said...

Good for her! She plays Abby on NCIS. I miss so much on TV, that only your & Trav's entertainment stuff is keeping me alive :o)

Dianne said...

daryl - I can picture her in the village, and it's no surprise she was a sweet kid, she still is

cherie - she is :)

raven - I love her character. I didn't know NCIS is on in the afternoon, I usually catch re-runs on the weekend or late at night

tammy - it is a great story :)

natalie - I've been thinking of that - for as long as I can remember my Nana just pulled me in with her aura - I truly hope to do the same. I look at my DIL's nieces and nephews and cousins and I shudder at their value system.
thanks kid, I love you.

bond - it's nice to have positive things to share :)

shelly - that's because Bergie has been raised better than those hooligans and she is a lady

sparkling - she's a good soul :)

bob-kat - so am I! I realized that the way I wrote it might have given the wrong impression - I doubt ET censors much - even if it's due to self interest

ivanhoe - you should get a DVR - it's not that expensive and it's so handy
I think me and Travis should get our own TV show - he could do recaps and I could do "color commentary" - ;)

Melli said...

LOL! I suspect she HAS a Mom! One who obviously gave her some upbringing! That is very cool though! Not being a tv/movie watcher I don't have a clue who she is and never would have heard about this -- so THANKS for sharing some Hollywood GOOD news!

Don't let being an "odd duck" in the family get to ya. YOU will be the Nana with something to TEACH that grandbaby. And it's amazing how babies KNOW this...

CG said...

Good for her. I'm astonished by the price of that toy chest!!

Dianne said...

melli - Her Mom died a few years ago from breast cancer - but yes, it does seem she was raised with wonderful values
and thanks Melli for telling me what baby's KNOW - I have to keep remembering that because I am feeling a bit shoved aside by my DIL's family - there's just so many of them - they suck the air out of a room ;)

CG - I know!! the crib is close to $4000

Reb said...

Good for Her & hubby. I like watching her on NCIS and now I know why.

Good post Dianne.

Anonymous said...

1800 dollars is a LOT of money! For something to be torn apart by toddlers. Yikes!

Great informative post. Hang in with the family.

pink dogwood said...

enjoyed reading it

Nothing says raise your kid to be a materialistic asshat like an $1800 toy chest.

- cracked me up :)

Dianne said...

reb - thanks :)

byrningbunny - I'm hangin' in :) thanks

pink - humor is the thing that keeps me from homicide ;)

Anndi said...

Hi Mama!

Would it surprise you to say Chicklet is a very big fan of hers?
And I would LOVE her as a sister :)

Smalltown RN said...

I saw that episode of ET and I thought right on girl you rock....more of us should be doing things like that...but then did you notice how they showed Liza Menielli wedding and the hundred's of guests that were held up because Liz Taylor forgot her shoe.....from one side of the coin to the other.....

I am so with you on this whole baby shower thing....I just recently attended a shower for my girlfriends daughter...of course she got some wonderful things...but you know what surprised me the most...was that my niece and her mom and I all made something...my niece made a quilt for baby...my sister in law made a baby layette with blanket..and I knitted a blanket...the women in the room were amazed....oh my they would say...and I thought to myself...have times really changed that much that we forget about all those little baby outfits we would knit or receive as gifts...that is what is was about ....or wasn't it...

I don't remember asking for any gifts..it's whatever they wanted to give....I know now that people do register for baby showers...I am just blown away by that....

I don't think you are alone about the odd duck thing....I am sure I am seen as a very odd duck myself....

As for the $1800 toy trunk...that is just silliness and extravagant and goes beyond common sense. I don't think as a society who are dealing with such high unemployment, homelessness and so on should even consider.....I find it an insult to those who are struggling to just get by...

Dianne said...

anndi - then I think our people should contact her people and we should get the process rolling - I bet Chicklet could handle that ;)
Nothing wonderful about Chicklet (or you) surprises "mama"

smalltown rn - I did note how ET went from Pauley to the absurdity of Minelli's wedding lol
I keep feeling better about my "odd duck" status thanks to comments like yours.

Lisa said...

yep, she's one of my new favorite people now! wow. what a good heart.

$1800 toy chest? Are you freaking kidding me? Nothing says excess and priorities in all the wrong places like an $1800 toy chest!!

Pagan Sphinx said...

I'd love the idea of having a ceremony only in solidarity with those who are not allowed to marry. What a great idea. Now if only I can convince my partner. It is legal in my beloved Massachusetts, though.

Tell your DIL that toy chests just collect useless junk that kids don't want to play with and not to get one. Just think of how much trash you'll save the environment if you talk her out of a toy chest!

Linda Reeder said...

I love this post! I just went to Macy's today to purchase a wedding gift from the bridal registry. Fortunately the couple are older and have "stuff" so the list isn't over the top, and they actualy suggested several charities to donate to in lieu of a gift. Since the groom is my brother, a gift was in odrer.
But the idea of a gift registry, which used to be helpful and contained, is now just obscene. Go to a fancy store and point and shoot your scanner at anything and everything. Why does it feel like greed?

Diane Mandy said...

I didn't know anything about her before this post. Now I am really impressed!

Thom said...

I am a big DWTS fan and had no idea who Pauley and her husband are but kudos to them. We currently in Hawaii are going trough, with our legislature, HB444 - Civil Unions and it absolutely sticks in my craw the opposition to this. Everyone deserves every right known to man no matter who or what you are. And you should see my post on our Councilman Gary Okino. Getting off my pedastal now, sorry Dianne, anyhoo...$1800 toy chest...I think Donald Trump is going to jump out as well.