Saturday, May 16, 2009

An Earthy Wordzzle

Another Saturday, Another Wordzzle - So go the days of our lives.

Check out all the wordzzle wizards at RAVEN’S

Green goddess, shampoo, filibuster, please and thank you, Operation Marigold, throw pillows, up the creek without a paddle, spandex, ubiquitous, wedding ring,
Skittles, lamb chops, stingray, chagrin, clever devil

The First Annual Green Goddess Award Show from the Kennedy Center was about to begin. The prestigious award recipients were all settled in the balcony and the celebrity audience had done the green carpet thing.

Much to the chagrin of all the major networks the show was being covered by Greenpeace Broadcasting in collaboration with PETA Pet Stores and The Al Gore Center for Temperature Containment. The clever devil behind this media coup was none other than Stingray. Stingray was enjoying his most recent trifecta of adoration having just won 17 Grammys while being voted Time’s Most Influential Person and People’s Sexiest Man Alive. Rumor had it that Ted Turner had gone so ballistic when learning that his network lost out to GB that he had peed on the homemade throw pillows Stingray’s wife had given him just weeks earlier.

The orchestra was playing softly as the MC waited in the wings. There was a sudden flurry of chaotic activity as Senator Skittles Skidmarks was rushed to his seat. His last minute arrival directly from the Senate floor was due to his filibuster of the ‘Children Are People’ bill. Hundreds of twitters went out describing his exhausted appearance and there was much discussion of him not wearing his wedding ring. Could it be that his wife’s sudden interest in Alaskan wolf massacres was truly evidence of her affair with Sarah Palin.

Finally it was time for the show to start. The MC was Betty White, joined by the famous puppet ‘Don’t Eat Lamb Chops’. A short clip of the puppet’s new movie ‘Say Please and Thank You’ was shown. And then the first award.

The first Green Goddess went to supermodel Holiday Hemp for her Operation Marigold project. Holiday was solely responsible for distributing millions of bottles of all natural shampoo to teenaged girls in malls throughout the nation.

Before the next award the film ‘Up The Creek Without a Paddle’ was shown. The footage of clogged and dying waterways was shocking.

The next few awards were rushed along since the show was running late. Time had to be saved for the final presentation. Ralph Hilfiger Wang of Uber Ubiquitous Fashions was being honored for his innovative process of turning used spandex clothing into bandages for third world nations at war. Karl was running late so a fleet of SUVs was dispatched to meet his private jet at the airport.

It was a magical night.


Dr.John said...

Great use of the words. I love the way you work in some of your personal prejudices.
But you do use raven's words seamlessly.

Mrs. C said...

PETA Pet Stores? I get all my chicken from them. Mmmm!

Jay Simser said...

Brilliant as usual. Wonderful Wordzzle. They do keep us going.

Akelamalu said...

Great idea to use the words as film titles. Very clever use of the words all round Dianne - well played. :)

Raven said...

Well done! I love the irony of the fleet of SUVs heading off... and the movie titles... well, I just enjoyed the whole thing.

Travis said...

That was absolutely outrageous! I loved it!

Richard said...

Wonderful names and biting irony. A fun literary romp about perception, hypocrisy and culture.

A very enjoyable read.

I like the way you think.

Dianne said...

dr john - and here I thought I was being fair and balanced - I did snark on everyone

mrs c - don't buy the biscuits!! they're made out of people

jay - thanks :) they start my Saturday for me

akelamalu - thank you lady!! I remembered the old puppet 'Lamb Chops' doing a routine about manners

raven - thanks so much, I adore irony

travis - outrageous!? cool!! then my work is done ;)

richard - ahhhh rich, you do my heart good - I need affirmation sometimes and I wasn't sure I had any literary romps left in me
thanks rich

Anonymous said...

This is just fascinating. I just love the irony in all of this. Excellent my friend. :)

Cloudia said...

LOL, what a great imagination!

bobbie said...

Wonderful Wordzzle. Your humor knows no boundaries.

Dianne said...

thom - thanks :)
I do enjoy good irony

cloudia - it's those damn voices ;)

bobbie - thanks!! it's the thing that keeps me going

CJ said...

Oh, the irony of the fleet of SUVs and private jet at the end. Enjoyed your story.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL....This is another brilliantly funny Wordzlle....LOVE the line about Sarah!
These just get better and better, dear Dianne....!

Bond said...

Be warned to be on the bad side of Dianne is to be sliced and diced in a Wordzzle someday...

Ivanhoe said...

Mrs. Skidmarks & Sarah Palin are having an affair? Wow! That's a new one :o)

Reb said...

LOL that was great Dianne!

Stephen said...

I liked your story about the awards show. I thought the words were used very well.

Stephen from Scottsdale, Arizona, USA