Thursday, October 29, 2009
The Turnpike Series. You Can't Be Torn If You Just Don't Care.
Most of the news outlets are calling the World Series between the NY Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies The Turnpike Series. I’m not sure where or how they drive but I don’t think you can get to the Bronx from the Turnpike.
As a resident of the lovely Garden State of New Jersey (Lord save me) I’m supposed to be torn about who to root for. Northern NJ is being called Yankee country while Southern NJ is allegedly devoted to Philly. I live in Central NJ – what the hell do I do?
Lucky for me I don’t give a rat’s ass.
I saw an interview today with a man who lives in Princeton. He called his town “the Mason Dixon Line” and went on and on – and on and on – about how “torn” they were over this series. He even claimed that “living through” this series would give people a feeling for how it was to live along the Mason Dixon Line. God Bless America – we don’t know our own geography or history and can turn any horror into trivia.
I used to be a baseball fan. A devoted Yankees fan. I would take my son to dozens of games every season. When money was tight we would sit in the bleachers and get a good (cancer causing) sunburn. My son wouldn’t even blink at the rough language and rowdy ways of the bleacher creatures – he’d seen it all at home.
In richer days we enjoyed box seats and extra hot dogs.
We’d get there as soon as the stadium opened. My son loved batting practice. Dave Winfield once hit a wild one that landed in Jeffrey’s soda cup. Reggie Jackson tipped his hat to Jeff. Goose Gossage kissed my hand. I told him he had beautiful eyes. He asked if I’d like to see what they looked like after a night of drinking and … Goose stopped dead in his tracks when Jeff said “hey, she’s my mother!”
Damn kid always cramped my style …
Now tickets to a game are absurdly expensive. The new stadium feels like a gourmet food court where a ball game just happened to break out. The Yankees annoy the crap out of me – I’m so sick of whiny multi-millionaires who play a kid’s game for a living and take themselves too seriously.
I really don’t know much about the Phillies other than they have Pedro Martinez on their roster so they must suck. I despise Pedro. Ever since he grabbed Don Zimmer’s head in his meaty hands and threw an old man to the ground I have despised Pedro. I never bought into all the Yankee/Red Sox stupidity. People who beat the crap out of each other over a game are just plain asshats but the sight of Pedro can make my blood boil.
I might tune into the games to see what Kate Hudson is wearing.
Or maybe, in a moment of nostalgia, I’ll watch just to hope Pedro gets his ass handed to him.
Plus it’s always entertaining to see them put Mayor Bloomberg into his booster seat.