Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Turnpike Series. You Can't Be Torn If You Just Don't Care.

Most of the news outlets are calling the World Series between the NY Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies The Turnpike Series. I’m not sure where or how they drive but I don’t think you can get to the Bronx from the Turnpike.

As a resident of the lovely Garden State of New Jersey (Lord save me) I’m supposed to be torn about who to root for. Northern NJ is being called Yankee country while Southern NJ is allegedly devoted to Philly. I live in Central NJ – what the hell do I do?

Lucky for me I don’t give a rat’s ass.

I saw an interview today with a man who lives in Princeton. He called his town “the Mason Dixon Line” and went on and on – and on and on – about how “torn” they were over this series. He even claimed that “living through” this series would give people a feeling for how it was to live along the Mason Dixon Line. God Bless America – we don’t know our own geography or history and can turn any horror into trivia.

I used to be a baseball fan. A devoted Yankees fan. I would take my son to dozens of games every season. When money was tight we would sit in the bleachers and get a good (cancer causing) sunburn. My son wouldn’t even blink at the rough language and rowdy ways of the bleacher creatures – he’d seen it all at home.

In richer days we enjoyed box seats and extra hot dogs.

We’d get there as soon as the stadium opened. My son loved batting practice. Dave Winfield once hit a wild one that landed in Jeffrey’s soda cup. Reggie Jackson tipped his hat to Jeff. Goose Gossage kissed my hand. I told him he had beautiful eyes. He asked if I’d like to see what they looked like after a night of drinking and … Goose stopped dead in his tracks when Jeff said “hey, she’s my mother!”

Damn kid always cramped my style …

Now tickets to a game are absurdly expensive. The new stadium feels like a gourmet food court where a ball game just happened to break out. The Yankees annoy the crap out of me – I’m so sick of whiny multi-millionaires who play a kid’s game for a living and take themselves too seriously.

I really don’t know much about the Phillies other than they have Pedro Martinez on their roster so they must suck. I despise Pedro. Ever since he grabbed Don Zimmer’s head in his meaty hands and threw an old man to the ground I have despised Pedro. I never bought into all the Yankee/Red Sox stupidity. People who beat the crap out of each other over a game are just plain asshats but the sight of Pedro can make my blood boil.

I might tune into the games to see what Kate Hudson is wearing.

Or maybe, in a moment of nostalgia, I’ll watch just to hope Pedro gets his ass handed to him.

Plus it’s always entertaining to see them put Mayor Bloomberg into his booster seat.


Scott Oglesby said...

Last year PA became the state of champions with the Steelers, Pens, and Phillies, so I’d love to see that incredible feat achieved again. If only it were the Pirates; but alas, that will never happen again in the history of the world. But you know that the Steelers and Pens are both going to repeat. That my dear friend, is a given!

That’s awesome that Goose almost got a chance to goose you!

Nessa said...

I live in NJ right across the river from Philadelphia so everyone I know is a bit nuts right now.

I'm not a big fan of watching sports. I'd rather read a book.

But the North Jersey/South Jersey thing is pretty annoying, as if it matters in any way.

Thursday Thirteen - Fiendish Facts

Ramblings of a Villas Girl said...

Hi Dianne! I haven't been a Phillies fan in a very long time. Quite honestly, they annoy the hell out of me as do their fans. I am however a Yankees fan and not "torn" about it. Here in southern NJ, I am in the minority, but don't give a shit. A couple friends are Red Sox fans. We jest each other in fun. And they are rooting for the Yankees this series.
I too have disliked, with a passion, and lost all respect for Pedro, ever since that episode with Zimmer. What an asshole he is.
My brother was a devote Mets fan. He never waivered. I happened upon one of their games and commented to him, (my mistake, lol) that they were good this year and I think they had a good chance. They were very good and make it to the World Series against the Yankees. Oh what fun this was. I am glad that my brothers beloved Mets made it to the World Series that year, because the next year he was gone. No World Series since has meant much to me. So for me, the best World Series ever was the 2000'Subway Series'. Always will be. Lisa

bobbie said...

In your words, I don't give a rat's ass either. But I would love to see the Phils get beat. They - and their fans - and especially the TV people - are really obnoxious. In any case, the thought of the millions of dollars paid to all of these jerks to play a game makes me sick to my stomach. It's in the same class as the millions politicians spend on their campaigns. If they gave a hoot about the people they are supposed to care about, they could find a better place for their money.

Bond said...

I am a huge Yankee fan..always have been..still am...Miss the old stadium, but have heard the new one is a shrine to the greatest team in baseball - so that can not be bad

Would love to see Pedro get rocked tonight...

Need this win...need this win...

Arkansas Patti said...

Think it is cool you got to enjoy Yankee stadium. HOWEVER, being a huge Marlins fan who once beat the Yankees in the 2003 world series and like you can't stand the millionaire playboys club, I still can't go Phillies for they are our sworn enemy. We came in second to them in the East and doing it on the lowest payroll in baseball. We still have kids on the Marlins who play for the love the game.
Did not know that about Pedro. That is purely ugly.

Daryl said...

I dont give a rats ass either .. I hate the sport. Hours of nothing but watching the grass grow and then big moment and back to watching the grass... BORING

My dad said it best(for those who do give a rats ass and/or dont detest it): "all these high paid athletes have taken the fun/excitement out of the game."

Jay said...

Personally, I thought the day Pedro threw Zimmer to the ground was the greatest day in the history of baseball. I was watching that game and saw it coming a mile away.

Zimmer was running at Pedro with bad intentions. Well, as bad intentions as a man his age and physical condition could have. When Pedro tossed him to the ground, rather than just grab him and hold on until help could arrive I knew it was going to be bad. I knew that it didn't matter what Zim was doing. It didn't matter they he attacked Pedro. He could have been carrying two knives, a Glock .40 and a Ar-15 and nobody was ever going to forgive Pedro for throwing that poor little old man to the ground.

Good times, good times.

Jay said...

Oh and I don't really give a shit about the series either. My preference would be for the Phillies. But, either way it doesn't affect me much at all.

Jacob said...

What a wonderful and funny post. I know it is wonderful because I agreed with most everything you said, especially "I don't give a rat's ass," and the bit about whiny multimillionaires who are so stupid as to think what they do makes any difference whatsoever.

Have a wonderful day. You've brightened mine considerably!

Jay Simser said...

I love your writing (Have I told you that before?) - I hate most sports. I like the individual sports but the last time I went to a Baseball game - Dodgers in CA - the most interesting thing was watching the volunteers rake the infield.

But that is just me. There are obviously enough people who are enamored of them that they make money.. (I wonder what good use the money could have been put to)

Be that as it may be I want to thank you for two things in this post. Putting the mayor in his booster seat will give me a chuckle all day and you do know that you have increased my vocabulary. Now when I drive down the street and someone pulls in front of them I am just as apt to call them asshats as I am M*((&*f&**ers - I think I first heard it here. And I do love it. j

Reb said...

I have never ever cared for baseball. One of the most boring games in history. Having said that, mom would knit something every world series and that I miss.

Dianne said...

scott - ya know I adore the Steelers, they're my kind of guys :)
and believe me if my son hadn't been with me Goose would have had the time of his life!

nessa - when I first moved to NJ I wasn't aware of the whole North/South thing, in NYC the boros insult each other to some degree but wow, this is just plain silly
Letterman had a good one last night - he said the Yankee/Philly fans would be united in their hatred of NJ - Ha!

lisa - I'm so glad your brother got to see those games!
and I love when you use rowdy language ;)

bobbie - I have always thought that the $$$ celebs make is a clear example of our twisted priorities

bond - the stadium is beautiful but everything is far, far too expensive and the fake snootiness is out of hand
we sure do agree about rocking Pedro

patti - I love rooting for underdogs and I guess I'm a purist which is why a team with 1/2 Billion dollar payroll just makes me nuts

daryl - your Dad was a smart man :) I saw the baseball commish on Letterman last nite and he said he was arguing with the owners about reducing the number of games so the season doesn't go into November and reducing all the commercial breaks so the games don't go on for 4 hours - he got a standing ovation

jay - I know Zim came flying out of the dugout like a crazy man, but Pedro really pushed the envelope by telling everyone he was going to aim for heads and didn't care if he killed someone
I love Zim and hate Pedro ;)

jacob - thanks!! and let's not forget the god awful owners who exploit the whiny rich players, they're even worse

jay s - you have told me that before but I love hearing it so thanks again
I'd pay to hear you shout out Mother.... in traffic LOL
I bet you make it sound distinguised
whenever you visit NYC we're gonnna go driving around

reb - I would miss the personal moments too
do you have the stuff she knit? take some photos, it would make a wonderful post

fermicat said...

I'm so ambivalent about the Series this year that I did not even know they had nicknamed it for the Turnpike. Not watching any of it. I'll be watching college football tonight, not baseball.

But I did enjoy your description of going to ball games back in the day.

Anonymous said...

My boys of summer were sent packing in the first friggin round. There's always next year for Boston. Thank goodness you don't buy into the hate on hate as I'd be screwed and I'm just getting to know you!! :O)

I'm simply not into the ny/philly serious. truly. I can't seem to get my head around it.

I'm looking more for the ups in a few hard days. I'm loving the change from summer to quick fall to faster winter in the midwest but my bones are begging for warmth. good thing for thermal underwear and wool socks.


maryt/theteach said...

Hey more important than all of this (I'm rootin' for the Yankees - yes Vinny, we need this one tonight!)is...That Rush Limbaugh never, never own a team in any sport!!!

betty said...

When I was a little girl, I went to the Arkansas Travelers games with my dad. Good times. I still like baseball, even on television, but it has sure changed.

Lu' said...

I could give a rip about the game either. I used to watch the Angels quite a bit in Anahiem when I lived there but they aren't in the series are they; no.

Dianne said...

fermicat - I'm pleased that you liked the stories from the old days :)

stitch - never fear, I love the city of Boston and its citizens :)

mary - on a personal level I'd like it if Rush fell into a garbage truck
but I have to say that if your politcal views and demeanor can keep you from owning a business then that hurts all of us
I didn't follow the story much, anything about him makes me sick
I do support the players that said they wouldn't work for him

betty - isn't it great to have those memories
I think of those days with my son often :)

lu - I haven't followed the Angels since the year that Reggie was there - and that's a long time ;)

Ron said...

Ok, I was sort of a little leary about giving my opinion on who I want to win, but seeing that most readers here feel the same way I do....

I truly hope that the Yankees wins.

And being someone who lives in Philly I know this may sound terrible, but I agree with Villas Girl...they annoy the hell out of me as do their fans. And all anyone has to do is look at how they reacted to their last year win, to know what true ASSHOLES they are. Philadelphia doesn't even know how to WIN properly. They literally distroyed this city. They acted like a bunch of freakin' apes on steriods.

Can you tell from my comment how much I LOVE this city?

Tee, hee.

I love you, dear lady!

What a GREAT post!



OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...Great Post, my dear. I was a Yankees fan Waaaaay back in the day--the 1950's....BUT, I was never a fanatic, though. Never actually have seen a "Live" Baseball game by the pro's---just on TV....But now, I have no interest in any of it any more at all....

I didn't realize that Mayor Bloomburg was such a tiny!

Linda Reeder said...

I heard something on the news last night about the World Series, and said <"Oh, has that started yet?" duh. I guess you can see how much I care.
I'm here in Colorado with my grandkids, experiencing a blizzard. Last night we watched our Seattle Sounders play in the first round of the Major League Soccer playoffs. So far, so good. Sunday we'll devide our attention between the Broncos and the Seahawks.
Baseball? Don't they play that in summer?

Linda said...

I've never been much of major league baseball fan but it's in my New England blood to hate the Yankees; it's genetic and I can't help it!

I think the best baseball can be found in the Minor Leagues where they still care about the game and play their hearts out because they aren't making bazillions of dollars yet to stand around and spit while scratching their balls ... and I don't mean the ones the umpire throws out to the pitcher!

I think it would just be nice if the season ended before November!

Louise said...

Ahhhh. So refreshing! I pretty much hate all sports. I don't think I've cared about a World Series since 1982 (I think that was the year--I'm from Missouri.), and that was only because I was dating a Cardinals fan and my ex-boyfriend was a Royals fan. Haven't given a rat's ass since!

About "my" Siren. She was living in a ditch in the country near a friend's house. The friend wanted to keep her, but she had a persnickety cat, the two fought through the sliding glass door. She knew I was a cat sucker and had been mourning my last one for a couple of years. I caved. I named her for the Sirens in Homer's book, The Odyssey. She pretends to be nice, especially to guests, then turns and bites them for petting her. But she has SO much personality!

Mare said...

I enjoyed your post. It made me laugh many times! I am from Jersey. I agree with your stance about the overpaid whiners and the new stadium which makes it impossible for kids to go to games with their parents because it would be the cost of a car payment! Your son has many memories thanks to you.

Deborah Godin said...


*laffed my ever-lovin' heinie off

Mountain Photog said...

Great post, Dianne!

About the Princeton guy comparing the World Series to the Civil War: Can you say "Moron" boys and girls? That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard. When we attended the Red Sox Vs. Rockies World Series in Denver a couple years ago there were many transplanted New Englanders (like me) wearing a Rockies jacket and a Red Sox hat, or vice versa. I thought that was great.

"Dave Winfield once hit a wild one that landed in Jeffrey’s soda cup."

Seriously?? Oh, my God! He must have been so surprised! And he still put the kabosh on your romantic plans with Goose Gossage?? Ungrateful kid! lol

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