Wired To Fail

Technology is killing me.

Add to that the fact that apparently NJ is a freakin' third world nation that can't keep electrical power going.

Yes - I have bitched about this before.

We have had more power outages than usual the past few weeks. Once I think someone spit somewhere and NJ thought it was raining. Then there are the drunks running into conduit boxes and poles.

The standard line around here if power goes out on a Friday or Saturday night is "Must be closing time at Fridays"

My server and router and thingie and do-hickey are all wired in the basement. It is a lovely rats nest of wires and clamps and plugs. The more important a connection is the deeper it is buried.

Amidst all this chaos is the power surge protector and battery back-up. It's the black box next to the other black box behind the larger black box. It connects everything to electrical power through a series of tubes - just like the way the Internet runs.

Lately the black box goes berserk when power is restored. It emits a high piercing shriek and the system shuts down. Do not ask me why but the only way to fix this is to pull out all the connections, shut down the main switch, walk around it three times chanting and then sprinkle pixie dust.

Long ago I gave up questioning why things were done the way they were and I stopped challenging so called experts. If I hadn't I'd be in prison right now. Or dead from that last nerve I'm living on finally snapping.

Computer guy blames electrician #2.
Electrician #2 blames Electrician #1.
Electrician #1 has not been heard from since I threw him out of the house screaming "I'll fucking kill you. I'll kill you so hard that the next 5 generations of your whole fucking family will die"

Trust me - he deserved it. On a good day he was only 3 hours late and slightly drunk. He didn't see any problem with the range hood causing the outdoor lights to go out.

Today the security system guy decided to join the cast of this long running farce.

The battery in the main box needed to be replaced. Period. Just that. Only that.

Since I can't run up and down the stairs like I used to I had to leave him down there alone for a few minutes while I signed for UPS packages.

That's when the high piercing shrieking began.

I throw myself down the stairs muttering "WTF" to find alarm person fussing with computer cables.

Why?
Because they were there
Because he thinks he's an expert
Because he has a penis

"I can't get this to stop shrieking" he says. "Do you have official pixie dust?" I ask.

I would have shut down the system but it had already crashed. That was a time saver.

I pulled all the plugs and told him to replace the battery. He tried to tell me the electrical supply for the box was in the wrong place but he took one look at my face and backed away slowly. The electrical supply for the security system box has always been there, has never had a problem. If he wants to put his own personal mark of creativity on something he should paint or sculpt. Otherwise - replace the battery and leave before your future generations are in peril.

Once he left I crawled around the rats nest and reconnected everything. Then I booted the system, redid the FIOS nonsense, reset the Internet crap and had a cocktail.

It's windy tonight so there's a good chance the power will go out.

Hope I have enough pixie dust.

btw - I turned comments off on the slice of cake post - I just wanted to say thanks and didn't want people to feel they had to thank me for the thanks.