Isadora had an 8 AM vet appointment with a specialist in northern NJ. By 7 AM the streets and car were coated in snow. I went out to clear the car off and move it closer to the door.
That's when the fun began.
There was a layer of ice under the snow so I once again slid down the drive and fell on my hip. Luckily I'm just under the age where breaking a hip is common. I pulled myself up and decided traveling north was not going to happen but I was going to move my car closer so that my son would have enough room to get the snow blower out.
Reverse a bit was fine. I was wet and cold and aching so I decided not to get out and clear off the side windows. I was just going to pull up a little.
Shift from reverse into drive and ...
The car screeches and shudders and the wheels spin. A symbol one would imagine seeing in the mountains appears on the dash ...
it looked something like this just more ominous
Being the eternal optimist that I am I assume I have killed the mailman or the neighbor's dog. What else could possibly render my tires useless in 2 inches of snow.
I get out and do a quadrant inspection. All is fine. No blood. No gore. No roadkill.
I had the car serviced the day before so I now assume they fixed one thing by breaking another. I must move the car. I am totally blocking entrance to the driveway, snow is piling up everywhere and 2 more cars are on their way home.
I try to find the dashboard symbol in the car manual. No luck. I look up snow and read all about how to install chains on my tires. There's an idea. I could call a cab, go get chains and install them.
I look up traction which somehow leads me to inclines which indirectly leads me to off road and it all clicks.
I need to be in 4 WD. Good lord I am an idiot. I have seen that phallic looking shift thingie next to me a million times. Once again my inner optimist takes flight - I shall touch the phallus and the car will explode.
Of course it won't. It will loose all control and careen wildly backwards just as the snow plow rounds the curve. Yep, that's more likely. An explosion would kill me. A head-on with a snow plow will only render me paralyzed and I will need to live with the fact that I caused the death of Mickey the plow driver who was only trying to raise enough money to cure his 6 children of sickle cell anemia.
I could blame the weatherman - after all the snow is not supposed to be here yet.
I could blame Jeep - never equip someone who has never driven an SUV with an SUV.
I could blame logic - I have driven in the snow before but never on an incline so why would I suddenly think that my car needed 4 WD to go up my driveway. No - that one's no good, I should shovel the driveway before moving the car.
So it's back to being all on me.
I gently grasp the phallus and assume I am moving it into the correct position. What do the lines mean?
The car moves forward.
I put it where it needs to be.
I live to kill and maim and make an utter ass out of myself another day.
the photos are not mine - they came from the Jeep website and from nj.com
I don't trust myself to operate a camera - I might blind someone.