"Because a mind is a terrible thing. And it must be stopped - in our lifetime. Before it kills someone"
And so we come to my terrible mind.
I have been experiencing more discomfort than usual the past few weeks. My car decided to terrorize me. Three of the windows either opened and wouldn't close or closed and wouldn't open. Popping sounds and grinding gears. In and out of the shop. Last night as I left my aunt's house in Brooklyn to head back to NJ my left driver's side tire blew out. Several corporations that I owe money to have all decided to sue me. Even bullshit debts like $89 to a lawn service.
Yet there is always perspective. At least I try to put things there.
The discomfort will pass.
The car has a warranty.
AAA fixed the tire.
Douche like lawyers that do collection suits can always be bought off.
And so I've been marching on. Except I often find myself ...
I mean weeping like all my puppies just drowned in the lake.
Then I get just a wee bit ...
Confusion over what the answers might be. Hell - what are the questions.
This creates even more ...
Sometimes the stress is mind numbing. This past Monday on the way to drop my window crazed car at the shop I started thinking about my aunt (more on that another time) and then realized I didn't recognize where I was. I pulled off at the next jughandle and had to deep breathe and close my eyes to remember where I had been going and to decide whether I had passed my destination. I had - by over 10 miles.
Thinking of this kind of lapse of conscious thought makes me a bit ...
And so the wheels keep turning ...
And it gets crowded in there.
Which brings me back to the title of this post.
I do have enough experience and internal fortitude to know this shall pass. It may even be a necessary step in letting go. As Oprah says - "it's a teachable moment."
Yet in the here and now. In the moment of the lesson I am having just a little bit of trouble. I do all the things I think help. I find perspective. I remind myself of blessings - I have my granddaughter Hope. I don't live in Japan. My limbs might not work so good but I have them all. My country is troubled but no one is dropping bombs on it.
I'll get back to regular posts this weekend and I'll be catching up with you all.
Where there is no struggle, there is no strength. ~ Oprah Winfrey
30 comments:
Hang in there Babe! I got your back. And I can relate.
Sounds as though you're being sorely tried at the moment. I hope it passes quickly. Tomorrow is another day - and it might even be better;-)
When we're in the middle of this sort of stuff it's really hard to remember platitudes like "This too shall pass" but know that it will and that if you need a shoulder or two to cry on that we're here for you.
Sounds to me like you need a nice long nap and some alone time to fall back, regroup, and re-energize for the next onslaught being that there always is one but I know that you can take it on and win as you're a Jersey girl and that's what Jersey girls do. They kick ass and win!
Sending you a big ol' virtual hug all the same!
You are not going crazy. When things got really bad for me in the past I forgot things. Then when it cleared up a little I remembered. It's just stress. Of course when things are nutty that's the VERY TIME you need your wits about you. But you cannot change your income, sounds like, and you cannot change your Aunt's condition. So trite, but do try to absorb the beauty in the small moments, share some pictures and hope this season passes SOON!! ((hugs)) to you!
Remember to talk to people. You need a place to vent and help get the thoughts absorbing you out of your mind for awhile. Call me! Take advantage of the compassion from people who care about you. You never know, someone might be able to help ease your mind.
Does it sound like I'm peddling drugs? Cause I know people.
I hope that at least got a smile.
yes, you know, this shall pass. but you are right, knowing that is small consolation when you are in the middle of the now. breathe deep and relax.
Hugs from over here - I wish I could do more. Maybe Hope will hug her Nana for me. x
Hang in there, my friend. I've been having some of the same kind of days as I prepare to move into an old folks home -- well, it's not that bad, but on the bad days it feels even worse! Sending big hugs to you this time and I'm sure Hope will do the same.
Sylvia
Sounds like you need to take your car to a priest for an exorcism.
It's all gonna work out!
Worrying does not take away tomorrows troubles, it takes away todays peace.
<><
Crikey you have a lot going on there Dianne. I'm sending you positive thoughts and some Reiki - hope it helps. x
Oh, that all sounds so familiar and terrible. At least you know in your heart that it will pass and can recognise the blessings you have in your life. You need a rest and a snuggle with the kitties and Hope.
Oof sounds bad. When I feel that way, I cuddle a cat.
Whoa! I've done that thing of driving somewhere and forgetting whether I got there or not. Sounds like over-everything right now. Hope it gets better soon, but it seems to be catching.
Been there. The mystical, miraculous part is how our own attitudes can heal themselves (i.e. you wake up feeling stronger and "head-on-straighter" than you did the previous day), and the rest of the universe seems to fall into line with it. And when it swings back the other way, we have the memory and promise of those better days to carry us along. And when all else fails, just laugh.
It sounds like tough times, my dear...And this may seem petty to sday, but MERCURY IS RETROGRADE!!! This doesn't help, I know, but sometimes it helps to understand the intensity of things gone wrong all at once....! I pray it will all pass for you, soon....
Meanwhile, Hug Dear Hope A Lot!! (And give her a hug for me, too....!
AND.....I'm sending you BIG BIG HUGS, Too!
(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
I'm so sorry for all the stuff you're going through. I find myself on crying jags these days myself, wild mood swings and the like. Then, I realized that I'm just in an emotionally fragile state with so much uncertainty (and newly minted debt) in my life. It's an interesting thing to contemplate, a little analytical aside in the midst of this hugely emotional thing. However, that in and of itself doesn't seem to snap me out of it, but it does seem to help me to exist in the midst of it. Then, I see Secretariat or a robot skeleton, and somehow spiral out of it. I'm not sure what my point is in all of this, except to say that I really do understand, and I'm sorry that your in this space that is so overwhelming.
*ahem* "I'm sorry that you're in this space." lol I's so glad I's spent so much money on this here book lernin'. :)
Dianne, I'm sorry you're feeling the weight of these stresses and hope that the shift into a better space happens for your soon. I wish I could help. Big hugs to you, my friend.
I admire you always trying to put things into perspective and also holding on to that wonderful sense of humor.
And Hope... well, when the other things aren't working so well, she'll put a huge smile on your face!
Here is how swift I am..I read that your 'cat' was the culprit not the car... duh... I hear you.. this past winter and early spring have really gotten me rattled with health and I hate that I have to start with a new doc, but at least I have the ability to get a new doc.. damn..all the shitty stuff happens to the nice people... hugs...Michelle
Oddly enough I found myself several exits past my intended freeway exit last week because I kept thinking about work related things. I must have zoned out because when I came to I wasn't quite sure where I was.
But hey, we all have those sorts of days. This too shall pass. The only thing we can do is tackle each problem one at a time until they're resolved.
Here's wishing you nothing but positive vibes!
Oh!hun!, I know of where you speak! (((hugs))) and sending you some positive energy (after shaking my stress off it!)!
Get thy butt into thy miserable car and come spend a few hours with us .. you and Toonman can kvetch together and I am get to give you a BIG hug for real .. come on .. xox
I hope things are calming in your life at least inside. Cheers Sexy!!
I remember that joke PSA, hilarious!
I love that eye crying. It looks like Dali, but I know it’s not.
Come down here and see me and see some real Dali’s! Terrible lead in, I know. But seriously, it’s calm you down, mitigate your stress and get you right with the world again, I promise. That’s what the beach DOES.
I am dealing with many issues just like that at the moment. A car that keeps wanting to visit the repairman.,..a step-son who is looking to get buried for stealing...a job I am so over....alas...there is little to do but soldier on.
Do so my friend
Hang in there! You are right, it will get better. And be careful of those killer windows. (Is it worse to ignore you or send you a trite message? I don't know, so I chose the latter. Sorry I can't think of a third and better option.
Well, you helped me feel normal...whatever that is. Sleep is a wonderful thing because it shuts down 'all that thinking!" Hang in there.
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