"Because a mind is a terrible thing. And it must be stopped - in our lifetime. Before it kills someone"
And so we come to my terrible mind.
I have been experiencing more discomfort than usual the past few weeks. My car decided to terrorize me. Three of the windows either opened and wouldn't close or closed and wouldn't open. Popping sounds and grinding gears. In and out of the shop. Last night as I left my aunt's house in Brooklyn to head back to NJ my left driver's side tire blew out. Several corporations that I owe money to have all decided to sue me. Even bullshit debts like $89 to a lawn service.
Yet there is always perspective. At least I try to put things there.
The discomfort will pass.
The car has a warranty.
AAA fixed the tire.
Douche like lawyers that do collection suits can always be bought off.
And so I've been marching on. Except I often find myself ...
I mean weeping like all my puppies just drowned in the lake.
Then I get just a wee bit ...
Confusion over what the answers might be. Hell - what are the questions.
This creates even more ...
Sometimes the stress is mind numbing. This past Monday on the way to drop my window crazed car at the shop I started thinking about my aunt (more on that another time) and then realized I didn't recognize where I was. I pulled off at the next jughandle and had to deep breathe and close my eyes to remember where I had been going and to decide whether I had passed my destination. I had - by over 10 miles.
Thinking of this kind of lapse of conscious thought makes me a bit ...
And so the wheels keep turning ...
And it gets crowded in there.
Which brings me back to the title of this post.
I do have enough experience and internal fortitude to know this shall pass. It may even be a necessary step in letting go. As Oprah says - "it's a teachable moment."
Yet in the here and now. In the moment of the lesson I am having just a little bit of trouble. I do all the things I think help. I find perspective. I remind myself of blessings - I have my granddaughter Hope. I don't live in Japan. My limbs might not work so good but I have them all. My country is troubled but no one is dropping bombs on it.
I'll get back to regular posts this weekend and I'll be catching up with you all.
Where there is no struggle, there is no strength. ~ Oprah Winfrey