He's sick of the campaign. He comes up with all the ways that a billion dollars could be better spent.
I want to do what many other countries do. 6 week campaign. No ads. Set amount of money for each candidate.
Last night he made me feel so much more comfortable with how negative I'm feeling toward our entire process of electing someone. Don't misunderstand me. I hate how this election highlights how divided we are and I detest how the media exploits that.
But I gotta be me.
And snark can be funny. Especially when it's so close to the truth.
I give you the man who wants to be the next Vice President. One heartbeat away from the Oval Office.
Not in a boy band
Not a black rapper
Not a ball player
Not a film director on set
Just a big ole Douche
Take it away Dave
Top Ten Thoughts Going Through Paul Ryan's Mind At This Moment
10. "These weights are 100 pounds each"
9. "My biceps are cut like taxes for the wealthiest one percent"
8. "Of course they won't publish this on the most important day of my political career"
7. "My flaccid smirk will motivate Americans to get in shape"
6. "What's the worst people will say about me and a photo of a dumbbell?"
5. "There's no three-day waiting period at this gun show"
4. "Please, please ask me to take my shirt off..."
3. "Why are the people giggling?"
2. "Please, please, ask me to take off my shorts..."
1. "Maybe now people will take me seriously"
#6 is my favorite
Thank You Dave