The person took me to the terrible place this morning. She insists I'll feel better there but I don't remember that part. I remember the smells and the touching - oh!! too many humans - and they have sharp pointy things that sting. Don't even try to tell me "only for a second". Do you know how long a second is?
Apparently the humans are getting complacent. Towels and extra hands indeed. Never assume you know a cat, we are ever changing entities of the highest possible will and intelligence.
The indignity of being dumped out of that ridiculous carrying device was the last straw. As Missy Silly Paw Prints Top moved to wrap me in a towel with a design matching her top I bolted.
Let me tell ya. That first step is a big one.
I've never been free at the terrible place. It stinks. CSI should come in with a black light. I sensed the poor cats that had come before me and dogs!! oh the dog smell was more than anyone should have to bear. Silly humans think they're cleaning. I give them one moment with my nose. They'd never want to breathe again.
Once I adjusted to the smells I realized the humans were freaking out. This amused me. They were closing doors and moving chairs and best of all - they were asking me to come to them. Come to you? Are you freaking kidding me?
My person was the calmest but she must stop apologizing for me. I'm in no way sorry.
I circled and leaped about. Hissing and growling at any attempt to catch me. I did my trick of making 4 legs seem to be 12. I did that Danger! Danger! thing with my tail. My teeth became huge and Edward Scissorhands had nothing on my claws.
Dr. Dudley Do Right got down on the floor. Gotta admire his balls. Actually I was looking at them and my claws were itchin' for a little soft tissue.
He just sat there. A giant lump of furless human skin. They really are grotesque creatures.
I took pity and stopped. The towel came down and my adventure was over.
Man it was fun while it lasted.