Mom was a little out of touch with the times - she made me promise to "never shoot marijuana into your veins" - I have always kept that promise.
I guess so much happens so fast these days that, compared to Mom, I'm jaded. I'm never surprised at what "they" thought of - but I am usually shocked at how little they actually thought.
Among my plethora of gifts this past December (birthday and Christmas) were the high tech items - new phones for home and office, a digital photo frame, and a digital photo frame key-chain.
I'm not a gadget person, not a techie person - I prefer to use stuff til it doesn't work anymore - hence the need for phones everywhere - It's not that I'm grumpy or cheap like Andy Rooney - it's that I prefer to not over consume the planet into an early death. Think of all the earth's resources wasted on needless stuff - so that we can cut one second off our texting time or microwave while watching TV without ever leaving the Laz-E-Boy.
My tech gifts are useful - the old office phone had so few functions that it made joining a conference call a feat akin to walking on water. The home phone was so old that the talk button only responded every other time and the poor thing would just die from exhaustion if I rambled too long. And the digital photo stuff brings more joy to my photography.
Like a little kid I anticipated opening (and actually using) all my shiny new stuff - I'm an intelligent businesswoman - I read complicated proposals, create excellent excel files - how hard could everyday instruments be!?
If you can't open the freakin' packaging you have nowhere to go but downhill - into an abyss of frustration and sorrow. Perhaps I don't need a phone - I'll just e-mail everyone and if an emergency pops up I'll run out to the driveway and scream - might as well find a use for those nosy neighbors.
With the help of a box cutter and upper arm strength I didn't know I had I did open my goodies. My son took pity on me and installed the phones - now I just have to figure out why the blue light keeps shining - the 300 page "easy quick reference guide" says the light indicates an incoming call - but no one is there - maybe a being from another world is trying to reach me.
The digital photo frame takes the memory card from my camera and creates a lovely slideshow for all to see. Of course the photos on the memory card are unedited and the power cord for the frame is way to short. Do any of you have an outlet within 12 inches of the top shelf of your bookcase!? Now I need a memory stick and a cord extender (NOT the same as an extension cord!) - Buck up poor unsuspecting Staples associate - here I come!
The digital photo key chain came with software - just load and run and take your treasured photos with you wherever you go. Gaze at them while driving, show them to strangers in the parking lot - how lovely that the carjacker can comment on how thin I look at my son's wedding before he stuffs me in my trunk. I'm not too worried though - the software CD they provided is "corrupt" - and it didn't even come from Washington! and the "instant help" website is unreachable. Oh Oh Oh - and I can't unfold the instructions properly - they're set up like a map that has been converted into an origami project. I could take them in the car with me and wait til I'm lost on a dark deserted road.
So what were they thinking!? and next time - could they think a little longer.