Thursday, March 13, 2008

Whiny - Bitchy - Perky - OY!


I feel old as dirt! Actually I think I was here before dirt, I vaguely recall waking up as a young girl and discovering there was dirt all around me. I was going to call Moses and ask him what the hell was up but Methuselah told me to mind my own business.

OK – done whining. I’ve never been good at whining. Always wanted to be one of those girls – you know – porcelain skin, crystal eyes – when they cry they look like goddesses. Me – when I cry my nose runs and my already ruddy, peasant complexion turns downright rosacea. And I get the hiccups til I puke.

Crap – I’m still whining.

Job #1 – my own private (hell) business is filled with annoying little tasks. A huge project is winding down so, now that they don’t like the results, the nit-picky persecution of the innocent begins.

Job #2 – giant-ass retail store is killing my back. Along with not being able to cry like a lady I have never mastered the ability to look busy without really doing anything. I’m folding and lifting and carrying. I’m running from Missy to Petite (tiny women are vicious!) and then all the way over to Kids. And back again. I have promised myself that today I will make like a Diva. Only one question – what does a Diva (not) do?

Am I still whining? Or have I crossed over into bitching?

I’m gonna try perky.

Mia is doing great! And that makes me so happy. She is sneeze and wheeze free and is eating like a champ. Now that she’s not contagious I have begun the slow process of introducing her to Siren. I rotate toys and blankies back and forth so they smell each other. Mia will sleep on Siren’s blankie; Siren just smells Mia’s stuff to death and then gives me dirty looks. I also encourage Mia to visit Siren through the screen door. She’s very suspicious of this and usually stands behind me. Reminds me of how my son would hide behind me when it was time to get on the school bus.

I’m putting together a slideshow of the duo. As soon as Kodak (Not-So) Easy Shareware aligns with Photo (drop-in-the) Bucket it should be ready to post on (blah – blob) Blogger. Apparently cosmic influences must be just right – that plus I must have more than 2 brain cells available at the same moment to complete my task.

See how I can never sustain perky? I always revert to self-deprecating. It’s my charm.

I just noticed something - Dianne/Mia/Siren can be shortened to Di/Mi/Si - isn't that cute!? Positively adorable even! I hate cute.




36 comments:

Kim said...

I so love your bitchin' and whinin'...could be because it's so like me, but I prefer (and I'm sure you will, too) to think that it's the clever way in which you bitch and whine! Your writing style elevates it into an art form! Very well done!

Some day, when I have more time, I plan to go back and read all your blogs...I've so enjoyed what I've read so far!

Thanks for your writing!
Kim

Chuck said...

haha - that is cute :) Looking forward to the slideshow and btw: perky equates to good health, i always say. then you wouldn't feel so old HA You think that's true? I'm not sure either.

Thx for your visit and glad Mia is doing better - that rocks.

Casdok said...

Its good to have a whine sometimes!

kenju said...

So Hididi-mi-si,

I think that Divas don't do cute either!!

Dianne said...

kim - I'm enjoying your blog so much too! we have very similar styles I think - tongue-in-cheek, sarcastic, old souly - been meaning to mention - I love your little profile pic, it suits you!
You are my favorite new blog - I have to put you on the sidebar.

shucks chuck, thanks! I think being positive is good for your health too! I just can't get my joints and muscles to agree.

thanks casdock - I agree! :)

kenju - they don't do they!! I have so much to learn.

Raven said...

Wonderful as always and made me laugh. I can probably out whine you today. I've been trying to upload some boring video of Tara Grace since last night. My computer keeps crashing. You would think I'd give up, but I don't have the sense to. Also having trouble with my other post. You are a burst of laughter. Please don't go all perky on me. I love you just as you are.

Glad to hear that Mia is doing so well. I'm looking forward to your slide show. Hope you have better luck with Kodak than I'm having with Google. Maybe we can meet up at the asylum when they have finished off what's left of our sanity...

Paul said...

If you need to whine then do. Get it out . :-)

Leighann said...

My husband says he can tell when I'm going to whine, bitch, or annoy (be perky) by the tone of my voice.

Most times I hear "Don't talk to me until your mood changes!"

jerk. :)

bobbie said...

I'm looking forward to the slide show too.

Keep whinin' and bitchin'. From you it sounds good - and funny.

Mahala said...

I worked in retail for years.. and being a slacker, I became quite adept at "hiding."

Maybe I shouldn't admit that lol.

tt said...

you whine with such flair! Whining is good for us though right? isn't that why women live longer than men....we get it out in the open and men just , what?...do whatever they do but it's not as effective. Like the saying goes..I prefer some cheese and crackers with mine....a light white is best for me. ha ha..yummy. Hey, that's it. You need that after being at that big-ass-retail-store-job. Yes??

♥♥♥ A- Licious ♥♥♥ said...

i so love it here.

and i love Di Mi Si

;o)

whine - rant - dowhatchawant it is YOUR blog after all!

:o)

(((hugz)))

xoxoxoxox

a-licious

CG said...

I have been MAJORLY bitchy recently...tomorrow I'll aim for perky :)

I'm glad Mia is well and settling in!

Odat said...

Di/Mi/Si...is cute...you should love cute....lol.

Peace

Minnesotablue said...

If I could bitch and whine as funny as you do I would do it all the time

Jay said...

I've never been good at acting busy either. Either I have something to do or I don't. When I worked in manufacturing I was pretty good at hiding though after I got promoted to team leader and even supervisor. ;-)

absurdities said...

Did we merge into one human being? As I was walking home tonight I kept running over in my head, "I'm whiny, I'm bitchy, I'm..." I couldn't come up the third one, but I needed a third.

And perky, I'm not! Let's stay with self-deprecating. :-) We do it well!

Dianne said...

Not to worry Raven, I can only sustain perky for a nano second. Mia is looking forward to showing herself off.

paul - thanks, I'm over the whining now and have taken to drinking instead ;)

leighann - well, this way you don't ever have to talk to him ;)
men should be seen and not heard anyway!

thanks bobbie! I just need a few more shots of Mia with her eyes actually open and I can put it together - she's very fussy about her appearance.

Dianne said...

mahala - you'd be so proud of me today! I got lost in the stockroom, then I helped an elderly lady out to her car and said the car was far, far away and she walked oh so slow, and then I folded the same shirt 22 times. I'm catching on!

tt - I like a nice dry merlot. I'm liking a big-ass glass of it right now

a-licious - I'm glad you love it here cause I love when you're here - you're so enthusiatic! kisses to Mr Schnookie Doodles.

Dianne said...

cg - hang on to bitchy - it's far more interesting :)

Odat - I do like Di/Mi/Si - I'll call it whimsical rather than cute :)

minnesota - the people who live with me may not agree with you but thanks!

jay - you could so be an executive at our place. the leads are always missing!! and the ASM's are virtually invisible. You could be king jay, king!

Dianne said...

ahhh absurdities - are we scarin' ourselves? this separated at birth thing is beyond coincidence. perky won't cut it I agree. and whiny gets boring. how about bitchy, witchy, scathing!? that's the ticket.
twice in one week - I am cockahoop over your visits.

If I've missed anyone it's cause of the 3rd glass of wine that I just inhaled. Nighty night kids. Play nice or at least be careful ;)

SnoopMurph said...

Whining and bitching is allowed, you'll always have an ear here.

Ooooh, my boys would LOVE the slideshow, especially Connor! I definitely don't have enough brain power to put slideshows on my blog, but someday...

Shelly said...

Orrr...Mi/Si/Di..pronounced Missy-D...sounds like one of those pukey-perky girls from a sorority. Keep up the whinin', I'm entertained... you're dang good at making it amusing!
Looking forward to kitty-pics.

Bob-kat said...

Everyone is allowed to whine sometimes :) It sounds like you're having as crappy a time as I am with work. Good on you for wanting to remain perky! At least you have good news about Mia and that is great.

Dianne said...

thanks snoopmurph! - I always think of Connor when I see Siren's photo pop up. slideshow through photobucket really isn't that difficult - it's when the site is busy or my browser is busy and then upload takes forever. photobucket even has a feature where you can one click post direct to blogger.

shelly - Missy-D!! I could make it into a rap name, that'll show those cheerleader types.

bob-kat - isn't it awful when work gets the better of you? I'm definitely enjoying Mi/Si as a way to focus on the good :)

Sandpiper said...

I love your blog! The way you write just took me away. I was there - no, wait, I am there! You're writing about me! ;-) I'll be back to read more soon.

Thanks for visiting my blog today and leaving such nice messages.

Dianne said...

Wow sandpiper thanks!! lovely, kind words. Your blog makes me feel the same way and I'm thrilled that I found it.

Akelamalu said...

I like it when you're grumpy - you make me laugh! :)

PS Re the new writing venture - you talked me into it - I'm doing Saturday Wordzzle tomorrow! You'll tell me if it's rubbish won't you?

Dianne said...

akelamalu - I was hoping that was it but didn't want to assume. How could it possibly be rubbish when it's art, it's creation. But if I must - yes, I will e-mail you if it's rubbish - but only if I'm grumpy ;)
I finished the 10 word - and now I'm messing with the mini words - I find it really relaxing.

Raven said...

I feel like an eavesdropper, but akelamalu, I'm so excited that you are playing the wordzzle game... thanks so much dianne for getting others interested. If enough people eventually get interested, I'll see if I can find a way to spring the $5 for a Mr. Linky so it's easier for people to share their paragraphs. Looking forward to tomorrow's "reveals."

Jo said...

It's not really whining b/c you're so witty. I pretty much look the same as usual when I cry, only soggy...but the next day I wake up looking like a puffy mole.

Great news about your kitties! I'm looking forward to the slideshow.

R.E.H. said...

I could give you lessons in acting as if you're working while not doing anything strenous at all...

...I spent the last couple of weeks at work doing just that ;)

I'm with you on feeling old today - my back is killing me after gym. I don't know why...

Dianne said...

you're welcome raven :) and I doubt it qualifies as eavesdropping if it's YOU we're talking about LOL
I'm pretty happy with my wordzzle this week.

jo - puffy mole eh? that could be considered cute you know :)

reh - I think stress has a lot to do with back aches and feeling old. the stress of thinking too much even when they're thinking about trying not to think or what to think ... ;)

Michael Manning said...

Yeah, I agree. Get it all out! :)

Dianne said...

Amen Michael! :)

Skittles said...

Nothing like a good whine to make one feel better? Did it? :)

I've tagged you for the Six Things meme.