Thursday, July 16, 2009

I Know Enough To Be Thankful

It has been a grueling day. Looks like disability will be declined - since I have a home office they don't see why I can't continue to work. I have called a lawyer. My doctors are all writing letters. My clients are writing to say they can't give me the projects they used to since I just can't get them done fast enough.

I have gone from having one case worker to a flock of people who all lose things and forget things and give contradictory information.

We are in the 'beat the disabled woman down' phase of the process.

God Bless America. The next GOPer who says all an American needs is "entrepreneurial spirit" and "hard work" is going to get a cane up the right side of their ass, that will keep them from talking.

But as Scarlet said - "I'll rant about that tomorrow"

I can't sleep so I started roaming around blogs and came upon my sweet little friend EMPEROR'S blog. I had asked youse guys to go by and read his spelling word story and encourage him - and you did. And that made me happy.

And I started re-reading all the lovely comments about Hope Mia, and that made me smile.

So at 2 in the morn, when you really feel like the world just sucks the Buffalo Big One you can find reminders that people are thoughtful and full of spirit and grace.

Thank You for Being Who Each and Every One Of You Is ...




And as always, there is Hope ...



update for Uncle Thom - hehehehehehe
who asked how this saga started ...


I tore ankle tendons last August. 2 casts and 3 months later I was worse, not better. Since I have scoliosis it appears that limiting the movement of my ankle and leg caused the counter rotation of my gait to be so thrown off that I now have torn muscles everywhere along with "a compromised and deformed skelatal system"
At the onset of the injury I just kept working - I literally crawled down the stairs to my office and I would work around the clock to make up for how slow I was. I have always worked and could not imagine any other way. Plus I didn't know that I was getting worse. I did need to turn down the more demanding jobs along with those that required travel. And so income fell and then my health insurance went up and I lost it.
At the same time the Dr. said I needed 3 different surgeries, PT, and perhaps a brace. I have paid into a private disability policy since the day I went out on my own - 15 years now.
When I get up the energy I will fill in more of the story

31 comments:

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Oh my dear...that really really sucks----Big Time! I hope all the letters help Dianne...I know it is really galling that you have to struggle so for what is your 'rights' under the law.....

The flowers are lovely and so is dear littke Hope with her Daddy....

Thom said...

I guess, and this is nothing new and different, that I don't know what the hell you are talking about. I guess I started following you after something happened. Care to explain? If not, you can email me or just let me guess...so I'm going to keep my GOP'er comment to myself - for right now LOL.

So you are checking up on us huh? I gotta remember that...would hate to have the cane stuck someplace where sun doesn't shine.

Great photos...and I'm so glad we are going to be able to watch Hope grow up before our eyes...Now all I gotta doe is figure out how to get her thinking GOP!!! Now wonder I'm never going to be Uncle Thom LOL...but that really doesn't fit...How bout Unle George? Or Uncle Richard. or Uncle Ike?

the walking man said...

get some sleep and wait them out kiddo. Why the right side of their ass? Stick it right up their ass, dead nuts up the old bung hole.

Deborah Godin said...

Hope they all give their bureaucratic heads a shake (but the cane would work equally well) and things get moving in the right direction for you! Pronto!

Hilary said...

Aww.. I'm sorry that they're making you jump through hoops. Hopefully those letters will help. Sending my very best thoughts your way.

That photo of Hope and her Dad is just gorgeous. I love how she closes out your posts for you now. Beautiful.

Jeni said...

Dianne -having gone through the disability process about 5-6 years ago now, I can attest to what a crock of do-do it can be. It does seem that their mode of operation is to deny virtually all claims initially so that you have to file an appeal. It took me about 18 months to get mine approved. But they do make you try to jump as many hoops as they can find to put in your way, for sure. The earliest that anyone can get a claim approved is about six months and that is usually reserved for those who are blind. For the rest of us poor suckers who are still alive but unable to perform in the working area, it is a long, uphill battle. Many people think -mistakenly -that this is something they can access quickly but it is not. When they get denied on the first go-round, many of those people just hang it up and struggle to find some kind of employment but the trick is to hang in there and keep fighting them. After my initial claim was turned down, it took me 8 months before I was able to get a hearing for my appeal and thankfully, I won at that appeal. So just hang in there and keep up the good fight. I know how disheartening this journey can be but it is the route you know, with your issues, you have to follow. Prayers that things will go as easily as is humanly possible for you -given the system one does have to fight to get any relief, that is.
And please keep posting those pictures of Hope -she is just beautiful!

JC said...

Wow ... I had no idea.
I am so so sorry.

Don't give up ... my Dad was told he basically was nuts ... it took years but finally he won his case. His lawyer got paid when he won ... but, he did.

I do hope you get a bit better and that the world is kinder to you.

Ralph said...

The people I have met who have WC claims all say the same - the WC insurance companies are more than happy to take your premiums but never ready to payout when needed. I was at an Unemployment hearing (as an observer) with someone whose unemployment is being challenged by his employer...and who has a UC disability claim also. His award is being kicked down the road by the insurer. Sad, but I really do not care for any insurance companies, as receiving the premium seems to matter most...

Ralph said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jay said...

I'm guessing all disability claims are denied without any real investigation the first time. I figured all along that you were going to need a lawyer. I think that's why they always deny the initial claim. To force you to get a lawyer. It's a conspiracy! ;-)

Mrs. C said...

((Dianne)) I know you won't cane me, because I can tell you with a broken heart that I do not trust others to take care of my needs or those of my children. It does stink royally. I'd think that government does not work for precisely some of the things you mentioned here, the red tape and the lack of responsibility. And they're doing that buck-passing on OUR money. Infuriating.

AND then to think that you somehow need to pull money out of the sky to hire a lawyer for what should be an easy yes/no decision... well, no. Government isn't really our answer. I have no clue how these people expect someone like non-verbal Woodjie is gonna make a claim. How do you claim disability if you can't talk to tell them your disability is that you can't talk???? No sense at all. Have no idea how that's going to work. How can we get someone to sign for a bank account, even, if all he can do is say "hello" when he feeeeeels like it?

Then again, friend, I am not going to get high n mighty and tell you I have a BETTER answer than some sort of governmental disability system. It would be nice if they had a "common sense coordinator" to come out and do something like go, "Um, Dianne would work just fine if she had a faster internet connection or took every third week off" or whatever. I would like my children to be able to work as much as possible BUT I also would like some understanding when they can't.

bobbie said...

Your photos are beautiful - especially the one of Hope.

I know your story, and am as frustrated as you are. It makes me want to cry. Just wish I had an answer to it for you.

Sylvia K said...

It sure as hell does suck!! And like Bobbie and the others, I am so frustrated for you and wish I had answers. I do hold good thoughts for you -- like that's going to help with this kind of crap, but I do it anyway. And your photos are gorgeous! Hope gets more beautiful every day and I know she is "your Hope" in more ways than one!

Rambling Woods said...

Disability has really tough specfic requirements. I didn't have trouble getting mine...shows you how messed up I was. LOL..But I got a lawyer first who suggested to my doctor exactly how the documentation had to be written. I do have to be re-tortured every 3 years and it turns out that I still can't do anything. Sad...The appeals process is the norm now..Get a good lawyer and hang in there..hugs to you Dianne..

Bond said...

I have a friend who went out on disability about 15 years ago.

three years ago, the insurance company came and said "You play golf, you can work"

He has retinitis pigmantosa, so he has limited vision and can not read without the paper touching his nose. his job was running an office of 60 stock brokers and including his having to travel (drive) and also read...

Took 3 years and his lawyers took a ton of his money, but he did get a pay-out finally...and it was 1/2 what he should have gotten.

insurance companies suck

Stay strong

Reb said...

Oh, Dianne, I am so saddened to hear this. I know you will continue to fight and will eventually prevail. Keep your chin up dear and yes, you have beautiful Hope in your corner.

Travis said...

Part of the problem with disability, and health care coverage in general, has always been that there is very little reality and common sense applied to individual applications. It's always about a set of criteria and standards.

That's fine to use as guidelines, but if you're not viewing each case on it's own particular merits, then you aren't serving the best interests of people.

And so you get people who abuse the system and get away with it, while others who seriously need the relief get shafted.

Akelamalu said...

I'm so sorry to hear this Dianne. I have no idea how the system works there so no words of wisdom for you except to say you have HOPE and I'm sending Reiki m'dear. x

CG said...

I'm ashamed to be worrying about stuff when you have such problems and stay so brave and so positive. You're inspiring, dianne x

Micky-T said...

What a SUCK story that is......

so you pay the bastards
and you pay the bastards
and you pay the bastards
then......
when you need them most

who the fuck are you?

Grayquill said...

I am sorry! And, sorry you had such a bad day.
Hang in there.

Michael Manning said...

Many caring friends here, Dianne...including me. Sending you Love and (((HUGS)))!

Deb said...

Hi ~ So wish I could do more than just say kind words, send warm thoughts and positive energy - which is what I am doing! And I hope you frame the pic of your son touching noses with his baby girl - so sweet - you can feel the love! Hoping you can feel the love ~ xo.

Maithri said...

Sending love and healing my friend,

Always love, M

Natalie said...

Hang in there, sister. You are the toughest cookie I know. You'll get what you need. It seems you just have to scream louder.

I knew a lady through one of the rescue groups I used to work with. She was disabled, but she volunteered her time while she was on disability by socializing kittens. She snuggles them all day and gets them people friendly because there physically isn't much else she can do. But she performs a great surface to pet owners. Once this comes through for you, I can definitely see you doing something similar. ;)

terri c said...

Eh. The problem is, any insurance entity views its policyholders, when they even THINK about filing a claim, as costs that must be contained rather than customers who are to be served. And I think denying the first claim is getting to be standard practice unless the first claim is filed AFTER the lawyer is hired. So sorry... hang in there... I love the idea that, although you can't move at all, the fact that your office is IN THE HOUSE must mean you can work. Breathtaking.

CrystalChick said...

I'm so sorry to hear some of what you've gone thru. But also I know that you make the best of everything that comes your way.
I'm not facing issues with work/disability and we still do have decent health insurance but I do sure know how difficult just having an injury is. I think the herniated discs I have now are a result of when I fell in Mexico the end of last year.
I was up at 4 am this morning in alot of discomfort but managed to do some Reiki before falling asleep again. It's hard some days to get certain things done so I sit at the computer alot and that is becoming too painful too. I have to find balance with this and other things in life. As we all do.
Hang in there, Dianne, there certainly always is HOPE!


On a happier note, the pictures you posted are very beautiful.

Lisa said...

Ugh! What a terrible blow! And so unfair! You need a good lawyer. I know, I know, lawyers cost money. Sigh. . .

Great photo of Hope and Jeffrey. Lovely flowers, too. :)

Hang in there, Di.

Raven said...

I'm so sorry that they declined you. From everything I have heard and read, that is pretty standard operation for them. Almost everyone gets declined and put through the misery and aggravation of the appeal process. I have no doubt that you will prevail in the end, I'm just sorry you have to go through the extra stress. Another form of government waste pretending to be savings.

Linda Reeder said...

That's for filling us in on the "How it all happened" story. I never got the beginning either.
I'm sorry for your misery and your miserable treatment. I am glad to hear you have people rallying for your cause. Yes, there still is hope.

Daryl said...

(((Dianne)))