Sunday, August 30, 2009

Pet Pride: Bad Fur Days

Hello. Mia here. Siren is letting me do a post this week because he thinks it's going to get me into trouble. He's a dolt.

I have a complaint. I don't really want to talk about the Mom person ...

... but I need to get this off my chest. I am very happy here. The Mom person takes really good care of me. The outside world and then the shelter were not easy. Here I have everything I need and lots of extras too.

It's just that the Mom person has a thing about grooming. Look at her instruments of torture ...

Siren thinks it's all very interesting, especially that awful muzzle thing. Mom person says she hates to use it but she doesn't have any more blood to donate. Ha! That's cause I bite her when she clips my claws. Siren just cries. Pussy.

At least the claw clipping is only now and then, usually when I start sticking to everything. Then I scream. Since I'm deaf I forget that others can hear me. How do I know what Mom person is saying? I'm a cat! We are psychic and intuitive and empathetic. You people really need to go back to worshipping us.

Anyway - it's the brushing. Oh dear lord, the brushing.

She says she needs to work on the clumps before they become mats - how the hell am I going to get mats? that makes no sense. Mats are to throw up on. And to leave clumps on ...

Mom person really could make better use of her time by vacuuming, look at all the litter around my perfectly placed clump.

But No! She has to groom me. And I hunker down ...

There are no pictures of the flailing and wailing and the biting and hissing. Let's just say I do realize the scene I'm making. I don't enjoy making a scene except it does scare Siren.

I enjoy that part.

When it's over I sulk for a long time. Mom person tries to pet me and give me treats but I ignore her. They need to learn ya know.

Mom person cleans up. She's always making jokes about having enough fur to make another cat.

Isn't she hilarious? Not!

I bet my pal Bozo over at PET PRIDE doesn't mind grooming, dogs are like that. That's why they're not cats.


Sylvia K said...

You've got a great attitude, Mia! You have problems with Siren and I have endless problems with Mojo, but I don't handle them nearly as well as you do! Have to admit I could use some lessons -- how about that? a dog asking a cat for life lessons???? What's this world coming to????

Give 'em hell, Mia!

Sam Schnauzer

Hilary said...

Pssst tell Mom to slather on the cat nip before grooming time. You won't care what tools she uses.

And you're a smart kitty. You know exactly what mats are for. ;)

Skittles and Zephyr

i beati said...

its much worse without the grooming

Rambling Woods said...

Yes..the cat torture devices.. Neither of my two guys likes any of it. The claws are hard to do, but hubby holds and I bribe with treats. There is still screaming and thrashing. I also have to give allergy injections to Elliott every 3 weeks and that is a whole different kind of fun.. NOT... Michelle

Frank Baron said...

Cats, of course, are evil. They suck the breath from babies and lick sleeping men's armpits. Clipping and grooming serves them right!

I'm probably kidding.


Grayquill said...

You tell'em Frank Baron - finally a voice of reason.
I thought the whole idea of a cat was that they take care of themselves and they do not require up keep except for the trips to the vet for a shot now and then.
Don't bug me and I won't bug you has always been my motto.

Ron said...

Oh dear god, woman...can I just tell you for the 100th time HOW MUCH I LOVE THESE POSTS???


The scared expression on Siren's faces is priceless!

Boy, I'll tell are one GREAT Mom person! I once had a cat with hair like Mia's and I know what you're referring to about the MATS. sooner do you get them out, they seem to reappear!

Thank you for sharing yet, another slice of life with the adorable Mia and Siren.


X ya, dear lady!

Cloudia said...

Very sweet - NOT!

such a kitty!


Comfort Spiral

Mrs. C said...

LOL AWWWW... we shave our cat, too. Hey, D does leatherworking... want to see what he made her for a joke?

LOL promise she only had to wear it once for the humiliating pics. If she could blog, she'd have a lot to say about it.

Carletta said...

Cute post!

fermicat said...


My cats don't care much for grooming rituals either. Even if you do get enough fur to make another cat.

Matt-Man said...

I just love it when you posts pictures of your pussy. Purrrrr. Cheers Di!!

Dianne said...

sylvia - Hey there Sam, Mia here - I try "accidentally" closing closet doors while Siren is in them but he's really quick
call me, maybe we can come up with a plan

hilary - hi skittles and zephyr - I don't really like catnip, it doesn't do anything for me
BTW - I just threw up on the bed, the mat was too far away
love, Mia

ibeati - I wish Mia would understand that :)

rambling - my sweet old JR needed insulin each day, he was so good - he saw the needle and just sat down, then he'd lick my hand
only cooperative cat I have ever known
hugs to Elliott, meds and cats are not easy
actually - hugs to you!

frank - I know you're kidding :)

grayquill - now as for you! ;)
cas need just as much attention as dogs

ron - I love that you love this, thanks :)
Siren is a nervous wreck around Mia, especially when I'm involved
he doesn't know what the hell is going on - her shrieks are odd sounding and her hissing is downright terrifying! Poor Siren, he used to be such a bad dude
now Mia has him pussy whipped ;)

cloudia - trust me, in the heat of the battle it is not cute ;)

mrs c - that was a bit disturbing LOL she almost didn't look real
tell her to call Mia, they can talk about us

carletta - thanks :)

fermicat - it wouldn't be so bad if she was short haired
or if she wasn't so bony, I always feel like I'm going to hurt her so of course I'm the one who gets clawed and biten

Matt-Man - awwww Matty, I can't repeat in front of the kitties what I am thinking right now

meno said...

I guess Brown Cat isn't much of a cat because he LOVES getting brushed. He will often meow and lead me outside to where his brush resides.

LadyFi said...

Oh this was funny!

Sorry to hear about your pain, but you do look lovely after it's all done!

Scott Oglesby said...

My cat has a personality disorder. Sometimes he lets me cut his paws and is cool with it, other times, not so much. I usually only try it when he is sleeping. I still can’t believe the amount of fur that can come off of one cat tho!

Anya said...

I love it when my Mommy brushed my fur .... :)
Kareltje =^.^=

Arkansas Patti said...

Funny, funny, funny only because it is happening to you. Seriously Mia, if you find a way to avoid all that abuse, let us know-- we are here for you. Have you tried peeing on the instruments of evil? Mickey and Minnie.

kenju said...

A very cute post!! My cats only get combed to remove their extra hair.

Dianne said...

meno - Brown Cat sounds a lot like my sweet old guy JR. He loved being brushed, he would sleep with his brush and start purring the moment I picked it up

LadyFi - thank you :)
I do suffer for my beauty
love, Mia

scott - as old and deaf as Mia is she knows the moment I pick up the clippers
i think she sleeps with one eye open ;)

anya - you are a much better cat than I am Kareltje
love, Mia

patti - Mickey and Minnie - peeing is another one of my issues
I don't do it comfortably, that's why Mom has to give me disgusting chalky things on top of all my other trials and tribulations
I appreciate the support
love, Mia

kenju - 90% of Mia's body weight is extra hair ;)

storyteller said...

Ms Kitty feels your pain, but thinks she'd appreciate a little help with HER grooming ... especially since she lives outside (being a feral cat). Unfortunately her 'mom person' is allergic to cats and can't help out with grooming. Glad Siren gave you time and space to get this off your chest!
Hugs and blessings,

Daryl said...

GAH a muzzle .. I sit like the perfect lady I am when I get my nails done .. HE, that dumb old Gus, HE carries on so that mom has to hold him by the neck while dad clips .. and he doesnt like grooming either, me, I love to be beautified™ .. like mother, like daughter even if she isnt a cat


Cezar and Léia said...

You are lovely!Happy pet pride
purrs and love

Deborah Godin said...

Dear Mia,
Pearl is not speaking to me right now, because I just took the Furminator to her wooly-bully self, too, or she would no doubt ask me to pass along her sympathy to you, and her wishes that you get more respect.

Akelamalu said...

You look lovely - the grooming is worth putting up with! :)

Sparkling Red said...

My folks took my two little kitty-brothers to the vet to have their checkup. One of them got so upset when he had his claws clipped that he pooped all over the place. Good things humans aren't like that, or manicure salons would stink.

Raven said...

As I try to tell my cat Angel (the one it's possible to hold), if you didn't make such a big fuss about the claw clipping it would be over so fast you wouldn't even know it was happening. But does she listen? No more than you, I'm afraid. Sometimes, much as I admire your wisdom and grace and beauty, you kitties are a touch - dare I say it - foolish.

Bond said...

Cats are supposed to groom themselves..if they don't they get what is coming to them...nuff said...


Jacob said...

Cats are gods. I can't imagine grooming a goddess!

You're lucky you have any blood left at all, Di!

Sheesh! And clipping nails? You are a glutton for punishment.

What a great post!!!

Dianne said...

storyteller - you are a good person for caring for a feral cat
love, Mia

daryl - hi Rosie!! I think me and Gus might be distant cousins, cause I ain't no lady
I admire you girly cats but it's not for me
Siren is metrosexual
love, Mia

cezar and leia - thank you so much :)

deb - mom person gave up on the furminator, she couldn't hold me and get the fur out of the blade
and she has thumbs!!
so now we're back to the grooming glove
tell Pearl I'll call her later
love, Mia

akelamalu - thank you but I am long past caring about my looks, I just want food and sleep and to poop without grunting
love, Mia

sparkling - oh the horror and humiliation you people persons put us through
I throw up on the vet's table
love, Mia

raven - I don't mind being foolish, it's better than being brushed
love, Mia

bond - you need to be educated about cats
love, Mia

jacob - I wanted to be a vet in one of my lives so instead I am a slave to cats
I can give injections
I can pill a cougar, I swear I can
you name it I have had a cat with it ;)

Cherie said...

Oh poor Mia, the price you have to pay for having long beautiful hair. Those guys with short do's can practically run their fingers (or would "claws" be more appropriate) through it and go. It can be painful to be beautiful. I can tell you that my Sheena had about the same opinion about "grooming" as you. The fine, downy fur made her skin far more sensitive, so grooming really was torture. Poor dear. I feel for you. I'd like to give you a pet, but only if you're very comfortable with it.

Liberality said...

Love your kitties! We don't clip our cats' nails. I don't think I'm brave enough to even try!

Maria Berg said...

So much hair that one of the reason why I do not have a cat of my own, MB

magiceye said...

hehehe mia ... thank god we are not cats! lol! but its fun having you around with your stories about how you make your humans worship you!

Pet Pride

CG said...

You are so funny, Mia! Both my cats actually like being brushed. Although in Basil's case he's probably too lazy to protest!

Micky-T said...

Luca sheads half a dog a week.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...Oh Dear Mia....You are just WONDERFUL and I think you speak for SWEETIE, too....I just don't bother anymore...I can't take the Heat!! So....I've learned.....Also, two times now, I had dear Sweetie shaved....And He LOVES not having to deal with all those clumps and Mats....And the Mats were truly horrible in every way....Hey, maybe, The Mom person could have you shaved...!! And then you would never need to be brushed again! HOORAY!

Ramblings of a Villas Girl said...

Hi Mia! You made my day. The mom person means well, so go easy on her. Lisa

Bob-kat said...

Poor Siren. My Bob would have commiserated with you but my new baby boys love being groomed :)

Deb said...

Dear Mia ~ I am a 6 year old mixed breed (aka mutt) and I love being brushed for hours but I really dislike my ears being cleaned or my toenails being cut - the vet has to do that for me since I don't behave for my mom person. And I won't discuss what they do to my anal glands - my mom person refuses to deal with that end. I don't blame her really. Happy cat naps to you from Lilly the Mutt.

Deb said...

Dear Mia ~ I am a 6 year old mixed breed (aka mutt) and I love being brushed for hours but I really dislike my ears being cleaned or my toenails being cut - the vet has to do that for me since I don't behave for my mom person. And I won't discuss what they do to my anal glands - my mom person refuses to deal with that end. I don't blame her really. Happy cat naps to you from Lilly the Mutt.

Lu' said...

HA! How would MIa feel if you gave her a flat top; all over her body :)