Monday, January 11, 2010

The Biggest Piece of Crap at NBC

I'm not a Conan O'Brien fan. Before Craig Ferguson came along late, late night TV was reading a book. I think Conan is a wonderful comedy writer, I just don't enjoy his comedic delivery.

Yet right now I'd gladly punch Jay Leno in his big fat distorted face for Conan. Conan took a million years off and re-located his family so they could move Leno to 10 PM and get Jimmy Fallon started.

It was an asshat move to begin with and now NBC is scrambling to fix it by talking about moving Leno back to 11:30 and moving everyone down by a half hour. So Conan ends up half-assed in his old time slot. And poor Jimmy Fallon gets the dead air reserved for the likes of Carson Daly.

Speaking of Carsons. Johnny Carson wanted David Letterman to get The Tonight Show but Leno chinned his way in there. Then he blamed everyone else for the ugliness. If you're going to be a two chinned weasel then at least be ruthless enough to take credit for it.

Grow a pair Jay!

Better yet - Just fucking retire. You suck at stand-up. Your monologues are pathetic. You're an ass kissing interviewer.

Get in one of your 500 classic cars and take a long, long road trip. Think Thelma and Louise.


Linda said...

I'd say you have an opinion on this one! I don't watch TV so I don't have an opinion. Go tell 'em!

Ron said...

I don't watch TV, but when I did I never saw the big attraction or talent of Leno. I just never really "got" him.

(now, Carson I loved)

You're last sentence in this post is beyond flawless....

...."Think Thelma and Louise"....


I LOVE you woman!


Cherie said...

Yeah, I think that it sucks for all concerned. I don't understand the attraction of Jay, but lots of people do seem to like him. (I guess there's no accounting for taste. ;) ) It'll be interesting to see what the hosts have to say about it tonight.

Jeff B said...

Don't hold back Dianne. Let it all hang out!

Jay said...

"Then he blamed everyone else for the ugliness. If you're going to be a two chinned weasel then at least be ruthless enough to take credit for it."


Leno blames everyone else. Refuses to take any blame or accept any responsibility. Everybody else is the screw up. He's freaking perfect!

He's the Sara Palin of late night. ;-)

Linda Reeder said...

Well, OK, that's a clearly stated opinion. I DO watch TV, but not late night shows. If I watch any, ever, it's Letterman. I have never found Leno to be funny either. In fact he seems to be awkwardly explaining his own jokes most of the time. I can't figure out why they made the change in programming. I thought Conan would be replacing Leno and Leno would be retiring. That still seems like the way to go to me.

Liberality said...

Leno is a republican so what did you expect? republicans blame everyone else for their own screw ups. take, for example, their refusal to admit 9/11 happened on Georgie's watch and not Clintons, like they imply every chance they get. same shit.

I like strong opinions, I think it shows you really care about this.


Dianne said...

linda - I was watching some tabloid TV coverage of this and I just lost it LOL

ron - I do like that line if I say so myself ;)
love you more!!

cherie - I do know that NBC created the fiasco but Leno has a rep now for screwing people - first Dave, now Conan

jeff - I know, I know! I have to stop being so diplomatic ;)

jay - and god help us but Sarah is going to be on Fox
just what the country needs!! another weeping, shrieking, screaming loon with the IQ of a peanut
NBC should give her 10 PM
maybe then she'll go away

linda r - I love Dave
I could have sworn Jay did say he was retiring
maybe he needs more gas money for all his cars

lib - I stopped by your latest post and for the life of me had nothing worthy of saying
I eat terrible food and pay so little attention, I was ashamed ;)
remember when steroid freak Arnie announced his run for Gov of CA on Leno?
that was a sickening moment
republicans are like the stuff you find under pond scum ;)

Hilary said...

Come on, tell us how you really feel. :)

Actually, I've not consistently watched late night talk shows since Johnny Carson left. None of them really appeal to me.

Cloudia said...

Don't hold back, LOL!

I feel the same way about Connan.
Jay's a nice guy, and quick with a quip, but you're right. This whole situ is a mess. Letterman just keeps getting better...Last laugh?

Aloha, Friend!

Comfort Spiral

The Quiet Rage said...

...maybe he should just think Thelma.. we wouldn't want anybody else extinguished in the process. very FUNNY!!! You should be in Leno's place;)

Grayquill said...

I can’t figure out if you are actually feeling sorry for O'Brien? Or are just angry and need to beat up Leno? Have you thought of offering to go on the Leno show and do a round or two in the ring with Leno – make sure you wear bright red boxing gloves. Just think you could be responsible for saving Leno, his ratings would probably double with all your blogging friends tuning in to watch Dianne beat the crap out of Leno. Or maybe you could have a bet – if you win, Leno retires.
You are hilarious!

Scott Oglesby said...

Great chin jokes Dianne! I couldn’t agree more with your assessment. I never have seen Jimmy Fallon but in my opinion the only one that is even remotely funny is Letterman. I love his dry, cynical humor. But Leno is the most unfunny, unentertaining, ungoodlooking, unholy hack in the business. The young hate him, the old hate him, the cats hate him and the dogs hate him. Give it to Letterman!

the walking man said...

So Dianne, what do you really think of Jay Leno? Maybe if I stayed up layer instead of getting up earlier I would know what all of the controversy is about.

Anonymous said...

I just don't get the late night talk crap shows, it's a US thing I guess. I did try and watch them when I lived in the shadow, but I just couldn't see anything but the egos.

Matt-Man said...

I love it. I thought I was alone on the Island of, "I Think Leno Sucks." Thanks for providing me with some company. Cheers Di!!

Anonymous said...

I take it you don't like Jay Leno? Hehe! He doesn't mean much to us over here but we have enough of our own problems with pathetic chat show types. How long have these guys like Leno and Letterman been going? I seem to have been hearing their names for years. They should all retire! Mind you, I have seen that bloke Stewart...what's his first name? He's pretty funny. Tell you who my favourite US TV presenter is? Bill O'Reilly - he's a laugh a minute! Hilarious. As for that fascist Hannity...what a hoot! Worth staying up til 4am for, anytime!

bobbie said...

I really dislike both Leno and Letterman - and Fallon - and O'Brien really isn't that great. Oh, face it. The whole late night thing has stunk since Steve Allen is gone. Now there was a guy worth watching!

Granny Annie said...

I heard at the beginning of this switch that it was being made because Conan O'Brien threatened to leave NBC if he wasn't given the Tonight show as had been promised to him. In order to keep him, Jay was moved to Prime Time against his desires. How does Conan come out the sad story? He brought this all on himself.

Bond said...

I did not watch when he took over for Johnny...the new show is a freakin train wreck....

Leno has caused NBC to lose tremendous ratings...putting him back to the 11:30 slot will NOT help

Dianne said...

hilary - I bet you'd love Craig Ferguson. check him out on Youtube

cloudia - I love that it appears that Dave will indeed get the last, and largest, laugh!

quiet rage - I could only be on cable, I cuss too much ;)

grayquill - ahhhh roadquill my buddy, you give me dangerous ideas

scott - ya know my cats do act funny if Leno appears on the screen ;)
I always thought it was hairballs

walking man - don't you hate it when I mince words ;)

rob - insomnia - the gift that keeps on giving

matt-man - you and me on an island!! yummy

bear - Jon Stewart is wonderful
as for BO and SH - if only everyone laughed at them
unfortunately many Americans follow them
have you seen Glen Beck? he's tragi-comedy

bobbie - I loved Steve Allen
many people say Craig Ferguson is a lot like him

granny annie - that may be true
the NBC execs are not innocent in all this

bond - exactly!! the affiliates will still lose unless Law and Order is on at 10
no one is going to stay up for a half hour of Leno which will then hurt Conan and it will be a new mess
maybe Leno has some naughty pics of Zuckerman

Daryl said...

I cant stay awake past 10:30 so I dont know much about any of this BUT ToonMan doesnt like Mr Fallon so his being pushed back further is, according to ToonMan, a good thing.

Linda said...

I can't for the life of me figure out why the guy just doesn't retire and let Conan stay where he is, let Jimmy Fallon stay where he is, and let everyone else tune into another channel?

Personally I'm not a big fan of late TV as most of it stinks since Carson retired though if I'm having trouble falling asleep I can tune in, be bored to tears in moments, and sleep comes along just fine!

Doc said...

I rarely disagre with you Dianne but I have to on this one... I think it's not Jay's fault at all that the suits at NBC are skrewed up in the head and don't know how to run a TV network... plus I think he is actually kind of funny.

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

Think Thelma and Louise says it all, Dianne!

My beef are the reality shows! They were all over on Saturday! Thank God for TCM!

Buona giornata, Dianne! :))

Reb said...

Late-night TV is something I never got into. I'd much rather read a book than watch any of them and that included Carson. If Ferguson was on earlier I would probably watch him though - he is funny. He is just way too late out in the west for an apartment dweller, I'd need headphones for the telly.

Dianne said...

daryl - tell the ToonMan to check out Craig Ferguson :)

linda - I could have sworn he was going to retire

doc - hell, if we all agreed all the time how boring would life be
I agree that the execs screwed up royally but I think they did it partly because Leno changed his mind about retiring and/or Leno was afraid of Conan's ratings and they tried to accomodate Leno with the 10 PM slot, not to mention saving money
I just feel that Leno has a history of being a weasal. He has now screwed 2 people out of the tonight show
at least Dave wasn't already doing it, Conan is

petra - I could do a month full of posts on the horror of reality shows
they demean humanity

reb - I highly recommend a DVR, they're not that expensive
I suffer from insomnia so late night helps when I don't feel like reading

Micky-T said...

Never liked Leno

I feel the same as you do about Conan, he's real funny, just too...goofy.

Letterman is a GOD! Everyone should bow!

The few times I've seen Ferguson, I liked him but I never go looking for his show.

Pagan Sphinx said...

I think I've seen Leno's show a handful of times and decided almost right away that I don't like him. To be fair, I'm not a fan of stand-up comedy. I have liked Letterman. I find his delivery actually makes me laugh. He has a funny personality, instead of, like Leno, being funny-looking. He looks more like a character actor than the host of anything.

jennifer said...

WAAAAY back when I would sneak in the den after my mom fell asleep and watch Johnny Carson. I haven't cared very much about Late Night TV since then.

I admire Conan for standing his ground.

Mountain Photog said...

LOL! To be honest, I think the whole mess is, uh, interesting. And Conan bailing (if he does) is bound to help the "Late Late Show" ratings. :)

Shelly said...

Ok...don't watch any of them...they used to be amusing but they lost me a long time ago.
NBC...quite frankly I think they've hit rock bottom, I mean...their best rated show is "Biggest Loser"...that really says it all doesn't it?

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I must say I LOVED what Conan said...And we'll see what those greedy b*astards at NBC do! As to Jay...well, I'm not a big fan of his. I have always been a fan of Letterman and thought he was treated very very badly back when Carson retired....But, he rose above it and is still doing his quirky hearfelt best, at CBS....And HE brought Craig Ferg. to us!! Bravo to him and Bravo to Conan for saying "No Way!"

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

And.....NBC made the decision to hire Conan and PROMISED him The TONIGHT SHOW almost 5 years ago..He turned other offers down.
Jeff Zucker, who is the big NBC Honcho has led NBC down the path of destruction, and they just signed him for another three years...It was HIS idea to not lose Jay altogether, so they screw up there 10pm PRIME TIME slot---which has always been "Drama" shows, and put Jay there and NBC's ratings on all counts have plummeted...Conan did not DEMAND the Tonight Show---NBC didn't want to lose him cause they LIKED him in Letterman's old time slot--- and so they promised him in 2004 that when Jay LEFT in 2009...This Show Would Be His!
Trust me: The NBC Big Greedy Bosses SUCK!!!!!!!!!

Frank Baron said...

Lovely rant Dianne and, unsurprisingly, right on the money.

I'm not particularly a fan of Conan but you have to empathize with the injustice done him.

I hope the Tonight Show under Leno sinks into oblivion. Let's see who in the Hollywood/music community has the stones to refuse to appear as guests.

And, as an aside, I wish that Craig Kilborn would reappear on the talk show scene. He was my pick to succeed Letterman as The Man on late night tv.