Gilda

NBC will air a special ‘The Women of Saturday Night Live’ this coming Monday at 9 PM – EST.

When I saw the promo I got to thinking back to my favorite SNL days. The old days. The original shows.

Then it took but a moment to think of Gilda …

The incomparable Gilda Radner, gone far too soon.

Gilda’s characters live on.

There’s Emily Litella. The hard of hearing commentator who had concerns such as …

Too much violins on television
What’s all this I hear about Soviet Jewelry
Endangered feces
Making Puerto Rico a steak
Campaigning for the presidential erections

Thanks to Emily ‘Never Mind’ will always be the best way to shrug off being confused.

Roseanne Roseannadanna – who came from a large family. There was …

her aunt Pollyanna Roseannadanna
her "musically happening cousin’,Carlos Santana Roseannadanna
her religious aunt Hosanna Roseannadanna - and …
her singing cousin Lola Falana Roseannadanna

Roseanne told the most wonderul stories …

Did you ever stub your big toe on the car or drop something heavy on your foot and the toenail on the big toe turns different colors like purple and brown and green and then it hangs there and falls off in your sock? And you're left with a toe with no nail and a sock that has a nail in it.

Did you ever find a thing between your teeth and you don't know what it is? You look at it and you play with it on your fingers. And you say, "What is this thing? I don't remember eating that." And then you flick it away or wipe it under the chair.

You know what roughage is? That's the food that goes right through you like a fast train and drags other stuff along with it so they don't hang around too long to rot and stink up your insides. Imagine, if you could, the inside of your body as a big, long curving pipe like under a sink, with all these ugly germs and pieces of red meat and diet soda and Twinkies and monosodium glutamate and stuff sittin' there clogging up everything. But then this roughage stuff, like a piece of carrot, comes along just like a can of Liquid Plumr and it cleans out everything.

Let me ask you this: Did you ever eat a hamburger and there's a hard thing in it? It's like a toenail. You know it's not part of the hamburger, but you separate the meat and the lettuce and the pickle all on one side of your mouth and finally on your tongue you get this little thing. And it's like a bone...but it's not a bone. I keep asking myself, Roseanne Roseannadanna, if they can make a coffee I like without caffeine, how come they can't make a hamburger I like with no toenails?

I’m hoping Monday’s show allots enough time to Gilda and the other original women of SNL. And if they don’t well – as Roseanne and Gilda would say – “it’s always something”