Friday, September 16, 2011

Dear Target

So, ya know I love you. And your little dog too ...


Yet I'm really pissed right now.

You had this Missoni for Target designer event. I really wasn't very up on Missoni other than their ability to make social skeletons look like test patterns ...



... and I'm not a designer person in general but I did see the event as a way to get a few birthday/Christmas gifts for my nieces and my DIL - all of whom love designer crap.

Now, I didn't get to the store at the crack of dawn cause you know what - you're not Springsteen. I got there when I got there and was fully prepared to pick over the picked over.

What a clusterfuck! Crap all over the floor and barely literate teenage staff trying to cope with questions they can't even pronounce back while half beaten to death older workers who are there because Wall Street stole their pensions attempt to restore order.

I left.

Online I did find a couple of items while waiting for your site to move at a pace resembling the reasoning ability of George W.

I even found a pair of shoes!! for my DIL.
I dragged my ass all the way upstairs to hunt through her closet for the right size.



Found it, limped back down, plugged in the size, hit add to cart and was told ...

FIND IN STORE

Find in store? WTF? I was at the store and I didn't find. If you don't have it that's OK but don't kind of have it if I play enough of your BS games.


Oh - and your twice a year only online camera sale. I figured while I was there I'd get the new model of my beloved Kodak. Amazingly you had it but I can't get the batteries online. Oh - and I can't get the battery charger at the store.

I guess I'm supposed to take my laptop to the store and shop both ways at once.

I got the camera at Amazon for $100 less and it came with a bundle of stuff - ya know, like all together, so you can kinda like use the batteries and well, ya know, like charge them too.

I'm going to give you another chance. Perhaps you were all so close to Missoni models that you got a contact high.

But I'm telling Santa to watch your ass as Christmas shopping mayhem approaches.



And if you mess up again I'm sending in ...

25 comments:

Jinksy said...

Eeek! Mentioning the C*******s word in September? Perlease!! ;)

pink dogwood said...

I am so sorry for your troubles - but you are so funny. made me laugh out loud :)

Sylvia K said...

I always loved to shop at Target -- until lately and now days they just piss me off. I tried to do my shopping online and, like you, was all too often told the item was only available in stores!! Oh, well, I can't do that much shopping anymore anyway, probably just as well that the fun has been removed from shopping at Target! So, rant on Mama, I'm with you!!


Sylvia

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

I'm with your first commenter...don't even want to think about that this early. I admire you for even trying to shop for the younger gen. I wouldn't try it at gunpoint.

But you made me laugh.

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

the glories of shopping exposed!

Kay L. Davies said...

Thanks for my laugh of the day, Di. You had me rolling on the floor with your rant. I hope you send it to Target, not just to your fans. LOL
— K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Ron said...

Dianne, this post was FREAKIN' and I mean FREAKIN' brilliant!

You had me laughing my ass off throught the WHOLE thing!

"Online I did find a couple of items while waiting for your site to move at a pace resembling the reasoning ability of George W."

Bwhahahahahahahahaha!

You GO, girl!

"I guess I'm supposed to take my laptop to the store and shop both ways at once."

Bwhahahhahahahahahaha!

TOOOO FUNNY!

Well, I'm glad you found your camera at a great price on Amazon. Serves Target right!

It's been years since I've been in a Target because we only have one here in Philly and it's too damn far. I use to love shopping in Target and have missed it. But, after reading this post, I don't think I'm really missing anything.

Have a great weekend, dear lady. And thanks for the laughs.

X ya!

P.S. Love the 'Yes! We have no banana's graphic!

DJan said...

Since I don't shop at Target, either in store on online, I wasn't surprised but very tickled to read of you being so pissed off. Now I am SURE I will never darken their door. That was a fun read, though... :-)

poindextr said...

hi Dianne, I know! What was up with that madness at Target? You're so funny :) Thank you for popping over, I appreciate it - it's so nice to meet you and your blog too. -diane

Akelamalu said...

Boo hiss for Target!

Micky-T said...

It shouldn't hurt to shop.

Linda said...

I'd heard it was like the Second Coming had happened at Target the other day and yet I had no clue why!

Thanks for giving me a laugh after a very long day! Can you do WalMart next?!?

Au and Target said...

By the sounds of it, you need a holiday. Somewhere with lots of peace and quiet. Can't stand designer shops either; so much fuss and most of it sewn by kids in 4th world countries. Not my deal at all.

Michelle said...

Yeah...a cluster describes my day too....but it's good to have a sense of humor they tell me...mine is going really really fast...hugs..

Paz said...

LOL! Too funny. Sorry you had to go through that experience. I think I'm staying away from Target. ;-) I love that lesser known reindeer. (Gosh, I'm still laughing).

Granny Annie said...

I hate it when that happens;)

Kathy said...

Haha Dianne, you make me laugh! And I laugh not AT you (okay, maybe a little because I do love your sense of humor!). Totally empathize with the whole Target experience, only to be out clusterf*cked by my Walmart experiences (won't even go NEAR the store anymore!). But what I REALLY loved and related to in your post was your Springsteen comment....what would have made me feel better after that experience would be to roll down my windows and blast some Thunderroad!

--Kathy

Jeni said...

I think you should just go ahead and send in the other reindeer -that angry one -and let the chips fall where they may! Loved this post!

Linda Reeder said...

So you're telling me THOSE dresses caused a run on the store and chaos?!
OK....

HermanTurnip said...

The patterns on those clothes is enough to induce an epileptic fit in even the hardiest of us. Do these come with sunglasses to reduce the obnoxious glare? Wow...

Jim said...

We had a similar experience at "Babies R Us." After they hauled our baby bed away and we were holding a "25% OFF" coupon we found out the toddler bed we wanted was sold out at the store and we weren't allowed to us our coupon if we ordered it.

They only way to order it was to go On-line, possible to do at the store, but it wouldn't count as being purchased "at the store."

The Customer Service lady hung up on me when I told her what I thought of this Babies R Us special.
Some customer service, huh?
..

Daryl said...

Oy and vey ... and I hope you put something on Twitter about this .. trust me Target needs a good kick in the ass and using Twitter will do it

Reb said...

I love the lesser know reindeer! I also remember that material the first time it made an appearance in the '70's...still hate it :)

Hilary said...

Ugh.. they're supposed to be infiltrating Canada soon. I hope we can deal with it with as much humoUr as you do. Sorry for your woes but you always make me laugh. Love that reindeer.

MyMaracas said...

Well, I am sorry for your frustration, but it made for an hysterically funny post. Thanks for the grins.