Friday, October 14, 2011

Row, Row, Row Your ...

My Mom used to talk about "getting your ducks in a row". It was one of her most favorite cliches to cover everything from getting our homework done to making sure we looked normal when the neighbors called the police because Dad was having one of his episodes.


As rebellious as I am I find I often turn to "rowing" during times of stress.


The basement clearing has gotten to me this week and I have abandoned it with rows of contractor bags and old files all over the floor.

As long as they're in rows I must have accomplished something.

It doesn't help that the freakin' planet can't decide what season it is. It's hot and humid again and that just makes me even more grumpy than usual.

I also had to go shopping for something to wear to a wedding. Since I'm hard to fit and have money constraints I of course left it to the last moment.

I really have an issue with what I see in fitting room mirrors.


I love the couple getting married and Hope is the flower girl but most of the people attending are ...

Well, we don't see eye to eye.

I did find an amazing push-up, push together, create cleavage bra to go under my sparkly black top so  it will be ...

Full tits forward!

Oh and I got earrings that are silvery dangling balls. Need I say more?

24 comments:

jabblog said...

Enjoy the wedding - you may find some like-minded folks there:-)

Jay Simser said...

I LOVE YOU. Thank you very much...(where did you find the picture of me?) Hugs to you and Hope.

LL Cool Joe said...

Tits forward and dangling balls? What more could you ask for really? :D

Love the top photo. I think there is something very appealing about objects in rows. It seems to be easier on the eyes,

DJan said...

I do hope you have a great time, tits forward and sparkly earrings! :-)

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

It sounds like a perfect outfit, as we used to say---"Tits Forward", id good!!! (As long as you can still breath....lol...

HOPE is the Flower Girl.....!! HOW DEAR IS THAT?? I hope tiy have a better time than you anticipate, my dear....

I love the idea of 'ducks in a row'.....It definitely gives one a feelung of accomplishment.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

That should have read....I hope 'YOU' have a better time....etc...I'm typing in the dark and I'm sick...ugh!

Granny Annie said...

From tits to dangling balls -- sounds like your ducks are in a row:)

Happy Elf Mom said...

Yep, it is important to straighten the house and get the homework done before the police arrive. You are so beautiful and rueful at the same time that I had to smile. You go to the wedding and my goodness, I hope these people appreciate you and your wit. Because I am missing out. :)

Cherie said...

"Silvery dangling balls"? How can you go wrong? Here's to you being able to find order in your life wherever you can. :)

Reb said...

I think you will look fabulous with your tits forward and dangling balls! Oh and I know all about getting ducks in a row and that is the perfect description of what changing room mirrors show.... I think they are all made that way, because really I can't look that bad, can I?

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

You will look great, how could you not with whatever you wear over that bra and under (so to speak) those earrings -- and who cares what people think about the rest of life at a wedding. Just talk about the bride and groom (or even better, the absolutely adorable Flower Girl!)

Daryl said...

You fabulous broad you ... I suspect a glass or two of ouzo will be lifted .. l'chaim!

Sylvia K said...

I agree with LL, tits forward and dangling balls!! Just doesn't get any better and I can just picture the faces of those "others"! Give 'em hell, Girl! And a hug for Flower Girl Hope, of course!

Sylvia

I'm With Stupid said...

Full tits forward is the ONLY way to go babe! ;-)

Jay

Mike said...

Take that Oscar Wilde quote from my blog the other day and put it on a sweatshirt. Wear it to the wedding.

CrystalChick said...

Bwahaha!! Full tits and dangling balls. OMG, you've got thee best sense of humor!
When I'm not in the mood to organize, I find that a couple episodes of Hoarders atleast gets me to move a few things around and fold some laundry!
Have a good weekend.

Linda Reeder said...

I like my ducks in a row too, but I'll leave the alignment of that bra to you.
Watch out wedding guests, here she comes!

Ron said...

"Full tits forward!

Oh and I got earrings that are silvery dangling balls. Need I say more?"

Bwhahahahahahaha! OMG...I LOVE YOU, WOMAN!!!!! You crack me the hell up!

And I'm absolutely sure you're going to look faaaaaaaaaabulous!

Stand straight, head high, and tits foward!

You GO, girl!

X ya bunches!

P.S. "It's hot and humid again and that just makes me even more grumpy than usual." - Me too!

ladyfi said...

I bet you looked wonderful in that wonder bra and earrings!

Marg said...

Oh well, it is just one more day. We kind of like that saying, 'get your ducks in a row' although it is really kind of silly. What good does it do to have things in a row. Take care and have a fun day.

Rambling Woods said...

I wish you lived nearby. I do need a like-minded girfriend to complain with...I need a dress for my daughter's wedding...and oh crap, I bet I will need a real bra, pantyhose which I really hate and she mentioned some kind of Spanx thing...oh geesh and no sneakers I bet...sigh...My girls won't know where they are if I lift them up to where they should be..it could be a boob identify crisis....

Grayquill said...

Hmmm...ah...yeah...it's you again...do enjoy this? I gotta go now.

HermanTurnip said...

Ahh...going for the "shock value", eh? Kudos, my friend! You have more brass than I do! ;-)

Au and Target said...

Tits forward and dangling balls? Good lord are you going to have a blast - just don't frighten the horses ;-)