Thursday, May 16, 2013

It's All About Me

Not something I say much, not my style.

My infrequent posts and visits to all of you has been bothering me. I value our connections and always feel "schmucky" when I don't check in on youse guys.

I just don't feel well.

I am constantly uncomfortable, sometimes in pain. It makes me grumpy and worse, it makes it really hard to focus for very long. I lose my train of thought and ...

What was I saying?

Oh yeah - I feel like shit on a shingle. One of my Mom's favorite sayings.

I keep getting mystery infections. By the time they figure out what the hell is going on I've spent days with a fever, falling asleep every 2 hours.

Like a newborn.

The problems at home have gotten so toxic that I have started to look for a place of my own. Lots of luck on that front. Hurricane Sandy has contributed to a huge shortage of affordable housing in all of the counties I'd like to live in.

I hesitate to discuss my relationship with my daughter-in-law out of respect and love for Hope. I'm just going to say that it is impossible for us to exist in the same zip code let alone the same building - doesn't matter how big this freakin' house is. 

I can't contribute to this household on my disability income the way I did when I was working. That appears to be a punishable offense.

Anyhoo - I feel like I've already said too much and that I'm whining. Neither is attractive.

I think I'll try to post more on  The Photo Blog  and I will do my best to visit.

Be kind to one another - you have no idea how important that is.


23 comments:

Jay Simser said...

Molly and Cassie and I are sending you big hugs and lots of love. You can come stay with us (if you don't mind a mess) But I warn you I can be rather boring in person.

Ron said...

Dianne, just know that whenever and wherever you post, I'll be there. So no worries, dear lady - I understand.

Sending ya BIG hug....

(((((( You ))))))

X to you and Hope!

P.S. and if you ever feel like talking, please don't hesitate to call me, okay?

Jackie said...

Hey Dianne - thinking of you and sending lots of love your way. Big but gentle hugs ((()))

Jackie x

(PS I can't sign in using my usual blog any more since the Name/URL option disappeared so have had to link to my professional blog instead, sorry about the formality! The other blog is currently down (****** hackers) anyway...).

Sylvia K said...

I do SO understand!! You deserve a much better situation than what you have and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that a good solution to the problem is on it's way! In the meantime, I'm sending hugs and good thoughts!!

OldLady Of The Hills said...

Oh...My dear Dianne! I pray that things get better for you...! I hate that you are in pain and struggling through awful infections, etc. As to moving....I pray you find a safe loving place to live....Hang in there, my dear. You are loved and cared for more than you know. HOPE is your hope. May this sustain you, dear dear Dianne!
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

ellen abbott said...

I totally get what you are saying about your DIL. I don't have a great relationship with mine but not for lack of trying on my part. Plus she is passive aggressive getting my son to be the one to put forth her agenda. She's got some serious issues and problems which she prefers to lay at our feet instead of looking inward.

Hilary said...

I hate that for you, sweet friend.

If you are able to find a place of your own, that might be the best thing for your health. Toxic environments can indeed break down your resistance to infections and such.

I'm so sorry that you and your DIL can't click. And sorrier still that you're feeling so poorly.

Don't even allow the "schumuckies" to enter your head. Right now, it is indeed all about you. Be kind to yourself. You come first.

Big hugs to you

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

I'm hoping for better things for you -- for a better place. I love my kids most of the time, but can't imagine living with any of them. (They'd undoubtedly say the same thing about me especially the kids by marriage)... but your situation sounds even more dire.

I'm not really a 'woo-woo' type of person, but I do believe there's a big connection between mental stress and physical ills...not saying that's all that's causing your infections , but just saying it can't help!

Lastly, don't worry about not visiting....don't make blogging another stress. We know what you're going through and we won't forget you. Come back when you feel like it.

Hugs to Hope and to you.

Mike said...

You can move to the midwest and trade hurricanes for tornadoes.

Rambling Woods said...

I thought this might be the case... I wish I lived near you...hugs

Linda Reeder said...

I am so sorry to hear of all of your troubles. And yes, I'm glad you shared them with us. Dianne, you are loved by many.

HermanTurnip said...

Hey, we all have those sorts of days/weeks/months. Keep your chin high. After all, the weekend is upon us! Here's hoping that you're able to relax in the sun, at least for a few minutes.

DJan said...

I second Hilary's and Linda Reeder's comments, Dianne. You are indeed loved by many, and I have been aware of you on Facebook, even though you are not in Blogland all that often. Please know that I am thinking of you and hoping that things get resolved somehow, and that you get better. Not feeling well is a trial even with nothing else added. Sending you cyber hugs.

Akelamalu said...

It must be so difficult for you not being on great terms with your DIL. I hope you find somewhere of your own where you can have Hope to stay. Sending Reiki to your situation Dianne, good luck with it all. xx

Granny Annie said...

Just another time I'm wishing I had a magic wand to wave in your direction.

Cherie said...

Sending hugs and love your way. xxoo

CrystalChick said...

Completely undersood. {hug} I'm so sorry for what you've been going through, both health wise and in your relationship with the dil. There was a time things were quite chilly with me and my mil but all is well again. Maybe there's hope. And, of course, there is HOPE! The love you have for her will help get you through. Will be thinking of you and, if you are interested, I'd be happy to add you to some of the volunteer work I do with Reiki. xo

Sleepypete said...

Yep - only one suitable reply there :

BIG HUG !

Hope you feel better soon and figure out what's been triggering the bad health.

Think I've figured out what was causing my problems. I am apparently allergic to healthy stuff.

LL Cool Joe said...

Oh no I'm really sorry to hear that you aren't well. That really sucks. I didn't know about your living arrangements but I think it's very tough to live with family, as you say, however big the house. Everyone needs their own space, but that's not always possible. I have the feeling one day my mother may end up living with us, and I know that's not going to be easy all round.

Jeni said...

I can totally relate to your words in this post as I'm having a very similar situation here too except for me, it's my daughter. She's planning to move to the Harrisburg area and of course, than means the grandkids will be going with her. It also means I can't afford this house by myself too so I'm now trying to figure out how and what I can do to be able to remain in my house. Wanna move? You can come west and move in here with me. We can lament together not having the precious grandchild(ren) around to keep us fascinated with their actions. I hate the idea of the loss of more of my independence but what the heck ya gonna do?

photoadayblog said...

sorry you haven't been feeling well. i can sympathize and understand the just not feeling well feeling. i do hope things get better for you.

nitebyrd said...

Girl, do what you can and take care of yourself.

I feel for you with your living situation. Sending you some (((hugs)))

Knight said...

I'm so sorry you have to deal with such nonsense. This too shall pass and all will be well again. Sending love and good vibes.