I Wonder About Me ... and you will too

It is Heads or Tails Tuesday. If you want to see more entries or join in check out Skittle’s Place

Heads was Wonder, Tails was Wander

I chose to do (give?) Heads

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“… A mind is a terrible thing … and it must be stopped … in our lifetime”

That’s a small piece from one of the best comedy spots I have ever seen. The comic presents himself as a ‘one shot to the head too many’ football player and just wonders out loud.

This comic’s name escapes me – my brother has his entire act on an old VHS tape. I wonder why little bro was so upset when I asked him to find the tape, hook up the old VCR, and tell me the guy’s name. So what if it’s 5 AM!? I need to know! I took care of you – you little prick – I wonder if we’re still having Easter at his house …

I wonder how huge the stress tumor I’m developing in my head will get before it explodes. Perhaps if I stop wondering about important stuff, if I stop wondering about decisions I need to make … Maybe I should wonder about wonderful things? Flowers and birds and pretty colors … Happy songs and sunshine and little children laughing …

I wonder if I can make it to the toilet before I throw-up …

I wonder if maybe I should look at some of the stuff I’m wondering about. Just face them head on and wonder them to death …

There’s my dying car. I wonder how many times you can call AAA in a 7 day period before they block your number. I wonder if I can afford a down payment. I wonder how crappy a car I can live with for the monthly payment I can afford.

Maybe I can work 3 jobs again. I wonder how much stamina I’ve lost over the years. I wonder if there’s an easier way to make extra money. Diablo Cody (wrote Juno) speaks lovingly of her days as a stripper. I wonder how much they would pay me to put my clothes back on. I wonder if there’s a niche for that – exotic nauseator?

I wonder why I sweat the small stuff. Even after reading all those books that told me not to. I wonder where those books are. Could I get money for them?

What else do I have that I could sell? I wonder why I never figured out E-Bay. I do have those ridiculously expensive wine glasses. I wonder why I never drink from them. How much would they be worth? They’re beautiful – even with those smudges where I couldn’t get the stickers off.

I wonder why manufacturers and retailers put those stickers on. Why do they hate us? I wonder what we did. Maybe I didn’t soak long enough in water that was hot enough. Maybe it would have worked if I had waited until after my expensive manicure to start furiously scraping with my lovely claws. I wonder why things work best for me when I fix one thing by ruining another.

I wonder where my books about self fulfilling prophecy went. I can’t remember if I read them. I wonder – if I read the memory improvement quiz will I remember where they are?

Kelly Ripa’s voice makes me want to kill her. I wonder why I have the TV on. And what is it about me that I need to have ABC on now just so I’ll remember to watch Oprah 7 hours from now. I can turn it off. I wonder if I’ll get more work done in the quiet.

I wonder what that sound is coming from the furnace. If we need a new furnace how will that impact getting a new car? I wonder how cold it really will be from now til Spring. Is it possible that sound is getting louder!? I wonder if mechanical screams are ever a good thing.

Wow – Kelly Ripa is still talking.

I wonder where my CD of “It’s a Wonderful World” is. Will I believe it if I say it to myself?

I wonder if I can take another 50mg of Zoloft this early in the day.