Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Some 'Splainin and Some Sharing

I took a little road trip today which I’ll share in a moment, don’t worry – there’s pictures, it won’t be a lot of reading.

First I feel the need to ‘splain where my head is these days. I haven’t been visiting as often as I do and when I do I feel like I’m leaving half assed comments. And I don’t personally answer comments all the time anymore and that bothers me. I do read them all.

I’m exhausted and it shows. And I store my energy and focus like a squirrel stores his nuts (hehehe – nuts) for those things I really need to do.

One of the things exhausting me is endlessly worrying about everything. I know better and so I try to be proactive.

One of the crazy/wacky/nuts/where the hell does this crap come from worries that I’ve been having is that I won’t be able to find the hospital when my DIL goes into labor. We’re here together a lot, just the two of us, so there’s a good chance I’m “Driving Miss Mommy”. The worrying about this extends to my being single handedly responsible for all problems this child and it’s Mom have for the rest of their lives – because I couldn’t find the hospital.

So today I went to find the hospital.

Here’s a really good shot of me starting out on my journey. Look at what my aura does to everything around me.



My concerns about finding the hospital do have some validity. The hospital is west of us and traveling across NJ is not simple. The roadways appear to have been developed by a psychotic giant creature who ate up pieces of streets/routes/drives/avenues/ways and then just spewed them all back out.

NYC is much easier to navigate.

But you don’t get much of this …



Life is a trade-off.

I had my MapQuest directions in hand. I enlarged the print since I can’t read without my glasses and I can’t drive with them on. Navigation system? Please, I’m lucky my car supports the lighter, I’m even afraid to use the cell charger.

I also had in my head so much helpful advice. My son and my DIL speak GPS – they have no idea what anything is called, they just turn when they’re told. My neighbors speak original NJ – “turn where the Carvel used to be” or “it’s the jug-handle right after where Bobby used to work, but don’t go past Susie’s pre-school cause then you’ll have to make a U-turn in whatever they’re building over there.”

After the psychotic giant was done spewing NJ roads into a maze of puzzle pieces teeny little fairies came along to make the road signs.

See the giant intersection - with 3 lanes to choose from. Can you read the sign? Oy!





OK – left for east. Gee I always thought east was right. Or is that only if I’m facing north? Or only on my PC screen?

It wouldn’t be such a big deal if lane changing wasn’t a contact sport. Far too many drivers ignore signals and frantic hand waving. There is a definite lack of …



… on the road.
I was able to get this shot after he cut me off.

And then there are so many signs that just don’t make sense …



Wonder how many of these there are?

I did find the hospital on the first try. The sense of accomplishment and relief was enormous. And I made it home using nothing but my innate ability to think in reverse.

And my ability to tolerate jug-handles. I was the Queen of the Quick Left in NY. I could sense the green and make a left across four lanes before anyone moved an inch. Now I need to deal with this nonsense …



OK – so there are more words than I thought there would be. Whadda ya want? I’m Russian/Irish/Jewish – storytelling is in my blood.

40 comments:

Micky-T said...

Wow!
New Jersey Cheesecake.....
Russian/Irish/Jewish.

Good plan to know the route, just imagine how nervous you'll be anyway!

bobbie said...

I'm glad you scouted it out first. That's what I usually do in anticipation of such an event. It really helps.
Relax now! (Ignore that exclamation point.Just relax)

Melli said...

LOL! You are going to do FINE Nana! Now that you are prepared, it is for certain that YOU will NOT be taking the Mama Unit to the hospital!

Cherie said...

Three cheers for a successful reconnaissance mission! People always look at me like I'm crazy when I do stuff like that. (And I especially like the wavy picture in the beginning.)

And I totally understand the conservation of energy stuff. I've been doing a bit of that myself. I have to have enough in reserve for when I'm going crazy! LOL

Love you Nana! :)

Natalie said...

Wow, obsessing over finding the hospital in the event you are alone with DIL at baby time is so something I would obsess over too. You've got your bases covered! And we know there is a lot on your mind, you do an amazing job here on your blog as well as in your real life too. If you ever worry again about finding the hospital (even though you've scoped it out) just say to yourself, "at least I'm not lost in Providence"! Now that's something to worry about.

Thom said...

LOL. Nana Barbara getting lost on they way for the delivery of little George/Laura. Too funny. Perhaps we should call in the right wing posse to help lead the way and calm her nerves :)

Sparkling Red said...

Hon, you need to get that aura seen to! It's all out of whack! ;-)

Allison said...

I did a post on driving in NJ because it was so bad. And I'm from Boston. Confusing signs (where there *is* a sign), perpetual construction, and that "must drive at least 80 on the turnpike in the right lane" rule.

Mrs. C said...

You didn't rescue any kids this trip?? When I read "trip" and "pictures" in my reader I thought you were out saving the world again.

Hope you're feeling ok after that escapade, btw.

Dianne said...

mickey - and I'm also French and was raised Roman Catholic until I went to live with Nana - Oy!

bobbie - I'm relaxing :) or at least I think I am

melli - I didn't think of that!! Oh thank you Melli, something to cling to :)

cherie - love you too
I was behind this weird mirror truck, it was a perfect photo op

natalie - have you driven in DC yet!? I've done it a few times - it requires training ;)
love ya kid

thom - did you say something?

sparkling - I need an aura adjustment and cleansing

allison - I've driven in Boston and felt very much at home ;)

Dianne said...

mrs c - no rescues this time :)
I feel fine, thanks
one less thing to worry about although my DIL kinda got to me - when I told her how I got to the hospital she said "that's the wrong way" - no thanks for planning, nothing - plus - how can it be the wrong way if I got there!
can't smack a pregnant girl

Sylvia K said...

You're gonna do just great and scouting out the way is what I'd do, too. Can't be the wrong way if you got there! At this point I have to admit I'm glad only one of my kids was interested in getting married and fortunately she has a great husband. The rest of them are lone wolves -- like their crazy mother.

Hilary said...

I can relate to that kind of worry. I'm glad you were able to put it to rest. No gratitude at all from the DIL? Geesh!

gabrielle said...

nana would have done the same if she was driving. but she had a different navigational system.
and so do you...

Linda Reeder said...

Hopefull that's one worry put to rest. And you gave us some good entertainment in the process!

Daryl said...

Why do they put those teeny hanging signs AT the intersection? How the flock are you supposed to read it from 10 car lengths away? Do not ever move to Florida its almost as bad as NJ for signage .. however in FL there are signs before the intersection .. of course seeing/reading them depends on how big/full the bushes are that surround them on the median.

I am hoping Miss Mommy goes into labor when Jeffrey is home and definitely not after dusk when he's not .. I personally detest driving at night ... and I suspect you do too. xo

Jay said...

I always make reconnaissance runs for everything. Multiple runs, at different times of day in fact. Many years ago, I had a job interview in Little Rock. I drove out there to make sure I knew where the place was, but didn't think about the fact that I was checking it out in the early afternoon. So, when I had to be there for an 8 am interview I got stuck in morning rush hour traffic. OOPS!

So, I always make my recon runs at different times of the day to make sure of traffic patterns and that I know exactly where I'm going.

Frank Baron said...

Well done! Now you can obsess about important stuff. Like how the Blue Jays have lost their entire starting pitching rotation since the start of the year.

I swear my hair is going to start falling out in clumps.

Ivanhoe said...

Now you just have to remember that route when it's time :o)

Bond said...

Jughandles...only in NJ and MA..the rest of the country seems to have gotten INTELLIGENT!

Thorne said...

Hahaha! It looks like it was quite an adventure. I'm not sure I'd have managed it while snapping pics!

Akelamalu said...

Well done you! I admire you, I have no sense of direction at all, I don't 'do' motorways and only drive to places I can get to on auto pilot!

Thom said...

Yes oh blessed lost in the forest left wing take from the rich and give to the poor Queen your subject spoke :)

Dianne said...

sylvia - I like lone wolves, they're swift and smart :)

hilary - I'm trying to chalk it all up to hormones :)

gabrielle - I do don't I! thanks for seeing that
love ya

linda - glad you enjoyed, must keep humor at top of list

daryl - yep, not a fan of night driving - and I did take note that a large part of the route is poorly lit - and one part is flood prone OY!!

jay - recon runs! I feel like a spy, I kept calling it practice - not nearly as sexy

frank - don't let baseball do that to ya! I've always liked the Blue Jays, even though I'm a Yankee fan - the Yankees get on my nerves a lot - way too many divas :)

ivanhoe - it is seared into my brain ;)

bond - they are ridiculous! and I really hate when they suddenly put one on the left!!
all turns from the right - and then Bam!

thorne - I only shoot at red lights or when traffic backed up

akleamalu - I used to commute into NYC every single day and I learned LOL

thom - I hear this odd buzzing sound - are you saying something - hehehehehehehe

Betty said...

I'm hopeless when it comes to directions. Jay says he could take me two blocks from home, turn me around a couple of times, and I wouldn't be able to find my way back. I fear he's right.

Jacob said...

That is so funny! I'm still laughing!

Raven said...

And all of us who visit are profoundly grateful for your story-telling blood. I could so relate to your worries about finding the hospital. Glad you have alleviated one worry. I'm sure you'll be on to the next soon. Hang in there.

SnoopMurph said...

I consider myself a pretty decent navigator, but I have gotten lost almost every damn time I have visited the Garden State. I hope that you can get sometime to rest. I have been away for a bit, but I finally got back and onto my blog. I'll be heading to the Big Apple soon for family visiting. Looking forward to it.

Take care-lots of hugs from me and the boys.

Travis said...

I applaud your achievement. Now all you need to do is make the trip in the dark.

See...you know babies come whenever they are damn good and ready. It'll be at night cause you know how to get to the hospital in the daytime.

Faye Pekas said...

Lord have mercy. I'm a nervous wreck just reading about your trip to the hospital. Maybe you need to have the ambulance company on speed dial.. just in case.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

How smart to do a Trial Run, my dear....One less worry in a SEA of worries...I understand. I truly do.
Like you I am not getting around to people as I did and not posting as often.,..A lot on my mind. But...we persevere, right?
Take good care, my dear Dianne.

the walking man said...

Huh? Jersey didn't even rank in the road rage survey. Shrug just cover the back seat of your vehicle in plastic in case you get lost. You can deliver a baby right?

Nessa said...

I hate it when I wake up in the middle of the night with these vague fears that make no sense even though they do. it's best to do something - it makes them go away.

I'm in NJ, too. We just got rid of all of the stupid circles we had on the highways and then some fool of an engineer put a bunch in a new shopping center. Idiots. No one knows how to work circles.

fermicat said...

Trial run or no, you're gonna find it when push comes to shove. No worries!

Mare said...

Good idea to scope it out ahead of time. A Grandbaby!! I'm told there is nothing like it. I'm sure you will share the details with us. Good luck, and what name will you be going by...Gram, "G", Noni,?

Jackie said...

My friend asked me to be her birth partner as she thought I'd be a reassuring presence. Once the epidural needle emerged I nearly passed out, and so while my friend was being manhandled by the anaesthetists, the midwife was squatting down with me saying "Now Jackie, take nice deeeeep breaths!" They've never let me live it down!

Whether you take her or someone else ends up doing the job, I can see you being the calm in the storm for her.

Deb said...

Hi ~ I understand your stress. My son and my pregnant DIL just moved in with us so there is a chance I could be the one to drive her to the hospital - and calm is not part of who I am. You have a good head on your shoulders and you were smart to do a trial run - you'll be fine. Can't wait to see pictures of your grandbaby. Enjoy your day.

Linda said...

You describe the New Jersey road system so well - or lack of system! When I lived down there I was constantly getting turned around and lost and even last year when I drove down to drop Amanda off at her friend's house down near Cherry Hill we got totally turned around and went the wrong way for miles on end before realizing it!

Driving in New Jersey is major stress and I can see why it is keeping you awake at night and causing you to panic!

I think a practice drive (or two) was the perfect idea and hopefully it helped to calm your fears a bit as well as give us some lovely photos to look at!

Now ... go practice your breathing and relax a bit!

Sleepypete said...

I had great fun first time I drove in the States :-) Learning to navigate meant a huge amount of confusion early on ...

I like my GPS nav thing - it lets me leave the "where the hell am I?" to the device which frees up my attention to keep more eyes on the nutters who inflict their road-lunacy on me :-)

Robin said...

Keep breathing Dianne, you're going to do just fine. The higher the stress the more you'll just buckle down and get it done. You'll be fine, she'll be fine, and the baby will be fine. Just keep breathing.

That said, road designers in NJ are sadists. God I hate those bleeping jughandles. I grew up in NY, and moving to NJ for college was a huge shock!