Tuesday, December 27, 2011

My Christmas Eve Peeve

The Time
Late afternoon on Christmas Eve. The day before Christmas. Early enough in the day to know that the chubby dude with his posse of horny donkey-like creatures hadn't even left his pole yet.

The Place
My humble home, discretely decorated for the season

The Setting
A warm, mellow gift wrapping room adorned with rolls and rolls of vivid Christmas wrapping paper.


In the background the meaningful holiday message of hour 723 of the Hallmark Channel Christmas movie marathon - a beautiful woman who is really an angel is flirting with a widower Dad who is having trouble connecting with his rebellious daughter. Showing Next - a single Mom falls in love with a rock star who is really an angel looking to see his rebellious daughter one last time.

I was lovingly assembling Christmas toys



when my meaningful movie was interrupted by a commercial. The excited, almost frantic, voice said ...

"Now that Christmas is over..." and went on and on about opening at 5 AM Monday and slashed super sales.

Now that Christmas is over?

Had I missed it all? I knew I shouldn't have ignored the signs



but really
seriously

I would have felt it if my head had exploded



Surely there must still be time for dinner and gifts and music and children before we headed back to the stores.

30 comments:

Hilary said...

The mute button was a good invention. Commercials, not so much. You're a hoot, Dianne. :)

I hope you and yours had a lovely time of it. Hugs to you.

ellen abbott said...

See? And you thought there was a deeper meaning to it all. Silly you.

Kay Dennison said...

Giggling uproariously here!!!!

Cherie said...

That's what DVD/VCR's are for. Skip those pesky commercials, and see exactly what you want. No head exploding necessary. ;)

Ron said...

Faaaaaaaaabulous post, Dianne!

CRACKED. ME. UP.!!!!

And I LOVE the photo of Dorothy Loudon as Miss Hannigan in Annie.

BRILLIANT!

Oh, and btw, I worked yesterday so I was witness to all the insane customers shopping those slashed super after-Christmas sales - UGH!

X

Sylvia K said...

You are such a HOOT, Dianne! And just the laugh I needed to start the day -- particularly this week! I do love your sense of humor! I'm sure you and Hope had a great Christmas!! Wishing you a very Happy New Year! Hugs to Hope!

Sylvia

Mike said...

Christmas? Is that this month?

Ivanhoe said...

Hahahaha! I actually stayed away from the stores in last two weeks. I plan to continue that for at least two more weeks :) Except the grocery store - I'm sending my hubby though. Hahahaha!

I'm With Stupid said...

Last year I went out the morning after Christmas to buy cheap wrapping paper and stuff. I'm not sure it was worth it.

Christmas is all about the marketing.

Jay

Jeni said...

Apparently someone got their timing for commercials to air a bit off, didn't they?
Loved this post though -especially the pic of your "Modestly decorated" home. LOL Good one.
Hope you managed to find wherever Christmas went to share gifts and food then. Peace!
Oh -BTW -daughter Mandy got me a book for Christmas - "Cleo" by Helen Brown. As the cat lover I know you are, if you haven't read this, grab a copy and sit down for a really nice read! Bring tissues though but still, you'll love it!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Hoping you and Hope and the rest of the clan had a stress-less Christmas

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL....Help Us And SAve Us! One wonders who is watching the Hallmark Ads...!!!
I hope you all had a WONDERFUL time, my dear....!!
AND, I AM WISHING YOU A WONDERFUL 2012...THE BEST YEAR EVER!!!

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

Funny lady -- but you speak the truth. It's all about the shopping (apparently)....hope everybody at your house enjoyed the brief break between shopping trips (yeah, right, I am guessing you love shopping as much as I do)!

LL Cool Joe said...

Yeah I was watching the way Amazon went straight from their Christmas promotions to pushing their Boxing day sales as soon as the clock hit midnight on Christmas day. Sad. Mind you I was sad watching it.

Linda Reeder said...

Fun post, but sadly true. Shop, shop, shop, don't ever stop.

DJan said...

I love these pictures. They bring the true meaning of Christmas... somewhere... I agree that you are definitely in a class by yourself, Dianne.... :-)

Cloudia said...

EXCELLENT post!



Aloha from Waikiki
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Stephen Hayes said...

I'm visiting after learning about you at Smitten Image. Fun blog. I look forward to more visits. You're welcome at chubby chatterbox any time.

Tabor said...

Congrats on your POW from HIllary. This was just the read I needed as I sit in my sick-bed having caught a cold on Christmas Day from my grandchildren.

Linda said...

I've got to say, I wondered the same damn thing!

And let's not mention the hordes of people who returned to the stores on Monday to either eagerly exchange the crap that they got but didn't want as Lord knows it's no longer the thought that counts or to spend those gift cards that they got as Lord knows you can't put any thought into a gift so you buy a piece of plastic instead. Sheesh.

I used to love Christmas but these days I'm afraid it's just about lost all of its meaning as it gets steamrolled by a very large wheel of commercialism.

Bah humbug!

Daniel said...

Congratulation on being a recipient of the POTW honour.

Enjoyed reading your witty story. :)

Out on the prairie said...

I am glad to have missed the marathon,I am still humming a few tunes occasionally.

Frank Baron said...

Ha! Very funny stuff, Dianne. Thanks for the yuks. :)

CrystalChick said...

I went to meet a friend for coffee on Monday and the bookstore was soooo crowded. I do have to admit to buying a calendar that day. After all, it was HALF price. ;)

Au and Target said...

Sheesh, and there was my thinking consumerism was the ultimate deity! You and me can be atheists together. Let's just hope we aren't sacrificed on an advertising billboard sometime in the future "pour encourager les autres"...

HermanTurnip said...

Hey, according to CNN.com there's still time to shop shop shop! Will the madness never end?

Rambling Woods said...

LOL...isn't that the true meaning of the season?

jabblog said...

Commercialism reigns!!

christopher said...

We never have to venture too far to find insanity.

Happy New Year!

Granny Annie said...

Oh such a lovely illustrated Christmas story. Isn't it dangerous to laugh so hard after all the holiday treats we've eaten?