The Triple I Factor: Some Linky Love

I need to work the closing shift at the giant-ass store tonight and then the opening shift tomorrow morning. Don’t forget tomorrow is Wordzzle Saturday. Go over to Raven’s place and check it out. My Wordzzle will be late due to my schedule but it’ll be there sometime Saturday night – hopefully before I begin drinking.

Since I’m also busy with my real job I thought I’d simply do a little post of links to stuff that I hope you find interesting, informative, or inspiring. The triple III factor. Which reminds me, I is also for International. I am currently working on a project for an international client. Now don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the business, so many of my peers are closing shop after losing clients to mergers and off-shore vendors. And the language barriers are not much of a factor since every office has at least one person who speaks English. What is making me a wee bit cranky is the middle folks – sometimes it’s an analyst, sometimes a brand person, they’re always here in the States but they usually pose a greater language issue than the international clients. I once had an assistant who said I was bi-lingual, I spoke English and Moron. I’m also proficient in the many dialects of Moron; Idiot, Fool, Asshole, Schmuck, and my favorite Arrogant and Ignorant.

Here’s a little translation for you:
“I’m sorry, I must have misunderstood” = OK, so you’re changing your mind and I need to re-do everything but you want to blame me so it won’t cost more.

“Well the accepted way of handling this is …” = WTF!? Have you never done a project before!? You want me to do what!?

“I felt it would be useful to put it all down in writing” = I am going to cover my ass because you freaking scare me. And I’m going to cc anyone and everyone who might be able to stop you.

As exhausting as job #2 at the giant-ass store can be at least it’s mostly physical strain. This being responsible for everything but having power over nothing aspect of client service can really suck your mind dry.

On to the triple III links.

April is Autism Awareness Month

My smart and wonderful, clever and sexy late night love (no not Craig Ferguson this time) is hosting a comedy special to benefit autism education. Night of Too Many Stars

I discovered a new blog through Casdock. Please check out Bev’s wonderful video and then stay around and read more. As it turns out Casdock is taking a time out from blogging but there is so much already there on her site, it will open your mind and your eyes and your heart.

Jeni – Grandma extraordinaire continues to blog about her grandchildren. Go over and leave a little good luck message – the entire team is participating in an Autism Walk/Run tomorrow. I will be doing a Sun Dance in my yard late tonight, hoping to bring them good walking weather – it’s been a bit soggy around these parts lately. Maybe I’ll do the dance half-nekkid and take pictures. Oy!

Snoopmurph – Even though she’s feeling a bit exhausted these days Linda continues to blog each day about her family. Her clear and loving posts have done so much to help me better understand autism. And I am an adopted member of this lovely family – it’s true, it’s true!

Speaking of humanity.

If you were invited to a party hosted by the enablers of the genocide of hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians, would you go?

That was in an e-mail I got from the Save Darfur Coalition. Check them out. I’m torn about asking Bush not to attend the Olympic Opening Ceremonies. I keep thinking maybe he’ll get there and get lost. Can’t you just picture him wandering around muttering to himself about giant walls and making a note to find out who built it so he can hire them for the fence around Mexico.

I’m working on the next installment of ‘Tales of Two Kitties’. Mia is doing great; it’s really just her eyes that still need medical attention. She’s gaining weight and she loves to play – with everyone but Siren. I’ll leave this saga for the slideshow.

Check out Saving Shelter Pets. They are a wonderful group that goes in at the last minute and saves shelter animals from being destroyed. I got an e-mail from them about a book written by a young girl, it’s all about her love for her adopted buddy.

And don’t forget to click each day at Animal Rescue Site It only takes a moment and it costs nothing.

In the time it took me to put this together (and I’m quick!) I have 6 e-mails and 3 voice mails from international client. Guess I’d better tend to their needs.

Happy Clicking Everyone.

I found the funny little image Here

Shepherding Forward

I just watched the HBO presentation of Autism: The Musical. I hesitate to call it a documentary because it is so much more; it, like the people who star in it, can’t and shouldn’t be labeled.

As I watched I became especially attached to two of the children. One is a teenaged girl, a bit chubby, with a smile that slowly creeps across her face until she shines. There is something about her body language that made me think of younger me. The other child is an incredibly eloquent boy who spoke earnestly about bullies and about wanting a friend who “was never mean”. He lovingly spoke about one of the other children, clearly accepting his new friend for his annoying traits and “for the good things about him too”.

When I was in grammar school I spent some months in a Special Ed class. Because of my scoliosis I had balance problems and the school decided I should be in a “more protected environment”. The thing I didn’t know until I was older was that the protection was for them, not me. The teachers didn’t want to slow the entire class down because I had trouble with the stairs if there wasn’t a railing. The lunch room aides didn’t want to carry my tray or deal with me dropping it. I’m not sure what my parents thought or didn’t think about this change in my education. Remember – they were wolves.

I hated Special Ed. It meant I was retarded. That is all I remember hearing and it is all I remember feeling when I try to touch that 9 year old girl and get her to talk to me now. I don’t recall much of what the curriculum was. All the kids were thrown together so what I remember was a lot of chaos. There were wheelchairs and braces to crash into and fall over. Ironic isn’t it! There was one boy who would jump on me and try to bite my neck, all the time screaming about vampires. Clearly all “special” children were lumped together. In the HBO presentation one of the mothers spoke about all the autistic children being a tribe that needed the elders to come together in order to get them the rights they deserved. She likened it to the civil rights movement. So I tried to remember my grammar school special tribe. I tried to see faces and remember names. I tried to conjure up friendships. I tried to find me.

I became very quiet and detached in Special Ed. I don’t know if the move there brought on the change or just enhanced it. I do know that school had been a sanctuary for me before Special Ed. Every morning I got to leave crazy town and the wolves and I got to be somewhere where reading was a good thing, where the rooms were bright and clean and where I could imagine I was one of the regular kids. Even before the Not So Special Special Ed episode (as we now call it in family folklore) I knew I was different. I was from the only family where the Dad didn’t work, where the Mom never came outside. I lived in the house where the police were called at least once a week. This would work for me in later grades when I took on the sexy persona of the cool tough chick from the fucked up family. But that’s another story …

The grammar school girl was devastated that school had been ruined for her. Now she was with crazy people all the time. The kids were crazy, the teachers were crazy – I remember lots of yelling and lots of “everyone has to be still and be quiet”. This may have been where my caretaker persona really got all her experience. I remember unlocking wheelchairs and picking up crutches. I vividly recall sitting for hours on end wiping the mouth of a boy who slumped in his chair and drooled. I think he smiled at me once. There are no report cards from this period, there is no class picture. I don’t know if that’s because the wolves didn’t bother preserving them or if the Special Ed kids weren’t worthy of remembrances.

One of the parents in Autism: The Musical had a brilliant little meltdown about how the world didn’t value her child. She was my favorite parent, and by coincidence (or not) she is the Mom of the girl who reminds me of younger me.

This is not a sad post. I’m not depressed or angry or upset. I felt it worthwhile to share the memories and feelings that Autism: The Musical evoked in me. My time in Special Ed may be where I started to develop empathy and if it was then good, it was a great place for me to be. If my caretaker abilities where honed there, then good – it was a great place for me to be. If my ability to look at people and actually see them started there then good – it was a great place for me to be. It also makes me feel better about the world to know that we have come far since the days of throwing all the “special” kids into one class and hoping no one got hurt. We have so very far to go I know but sometimes the value of getting older is that you can remind people that moving forward is possible because you are living proof of it.

My favorite Mom in Autism: The Musical – the Mom of the remembered mini-me – said that “we can’t throw these kids away, someone has to be there to shepherd them forward”.

All through my life there were people who shepherded me forward and I like to think I now do the same. I like to think there are many shepherds among us.

You can see Autism: The Musical on HBO throughout the month of April and on HBO – On Demand. For more info check Here

I thought there was a way to view it online but that link doesn’t work at the moment.

I really recommend it. It is smart and real and earnest and endearing.

Thanks to a weird schedule at the giant-ass store and a feeble attempt to have a social life my wordzzle for Saturday will probably be posted late but I’m gonna do it. Don’t forget to check out this weeks words and give it a whirl.

We Are All Unique

I’ve been thinking a lot about a wonderful friend of mine and I’d like to tell you a bit about him. I always think of J more this time of year than any other. We see each other a lot during the spring and summer. During the winter he and his family are busy with school and work and the days are short. J doesn’t like driving at night, neither do I actually, especially now that my older eyes play tricks on me. I remember one time when we had to drive after dark, a bunch of us were stuck at J’s brother’s baseball game later than usual. We all divided up into various cars and J decided to come with me. I had to put the overhead light on for him and that got us pulled over by Highway Patrol, it is a bit distracting to drive with lights on inside the car. Luckily the officer was immediately soothed by J’s explanation.

J is an artist. During the winter he faxes me wonderful little drawings to let me know he’s thinking of me. When we’re together he loves to encourage me to draw. He’s the only person who can. I am terrible at it. We once did an exercise where everybody drew a picture of the animal they were most like, there was a list of animals and their attributes and I chose a bear. In my attempts to make the bear’s legs full and fuzzy I created what looked like a tooth with a smiling head. My nieces made fun of me and we all laughed at me and my bear but J was not amused. He disappeared for a bit and when he returned he had with him a giant gold star that he glued to my picture. And he hugged me. A tiny, quick hug but a hug full of love and acceptance. Ordinarily J is not much of a hugger. He prefers to have his own personal space, a small bubble of air around him. I get it. I often feel the same way and I’ve never understood why people think it’s OK to grab and lift and touch other people without knowing if it’s OK with them. I remember when I was pregnant people would just pat the baby bump, in my case the baby boulder, and it drove me nuts.

Back when I first met J I sensed that he didn’t mind closeness if you asked first. So I always ask. Usually we sit shoulder to shoulder; often he will eventually stroke my hand. He loves to point out when my nails are a mess, you know – the terrible day before the manicure you should have had last week. Once he touched my thumb and mentioned that “brown is not a good color”. He was, as usual, right. He has an artist’s eye. I always try to have a fresh manicure when I see J. I love to present my neatly colored fingers to him and wait for a thumbs up. His cousin and I sometimes get our nails done together and we always inspect the colors, looking for one that will be “J approved”.

J has many other interests. He used to be intimidated by weather; dark gathering storm clouds would ruin his day. He doesn’t like the unexpected. I found a meteorology kit online and got it for J. On the day I gave it to him there was about 6 adults there and several kids ranging in age from 3 to 17. None of us could figure out how to set the damn thing up. J wasn’t aware of what it was yet so he didn’t share our frustration. Since I was the one who brought the offending object into our midst I was left to figure it out. At one point I had to walk away from it for a few minutes. My hands were literally itching with annoyance at too many parts and instructions that didn’t make sense. Before I left the room J asked me what the object was. I told him it was supposed to be like a weather station, when assembled it would tell him what was going on in the clouds and the air. I apologized to him for it being so complicated; it had looked so cool on the website. I promised him that I would figure it out even if it killed me; I just had to take a little break. When I came back the weather thingie was almost fully assembled and J greeted me with a smile and bestowed upon me the honor of sticking on all the cool decals. He checks it every morning and has become really good at forecasting the weather. And he lovingly named the device – “that thing that Dianne couldn’t do”.

J is kind and gentle. J is clever and creative. His brothers and sisters are better people because of him; they are more accepting of diversity and far more considerate of others than most people.

J is everything you would want in a friend. Oh yes, and J is autistic.

Today is World Autism Awareness Day.






April is Autism Awareness Month – I hope you’ll take a moment here and there to watch a documentary about autism or read some articles. I also encourage you to check out my friends:

Casdock – her blog is serenity. The images in this post and on my sidebar came from her site. She is generous that way. I had to stop myself or my sidebar would be the twin of her sidebar – so go check out the rest over there and read a bit about her and her son.

Jeni – Grandmother extraordinaire. I love to read about the escapades of Maya and Kurtis, not to mention the cats. My favorite Maya story is when she glued her works of art to the wall. Oh and the way she proclaimed the arrival of visiting cat Nina – “the Neener is here, the Neener is here”. We should all be greeted with such enthusiasm. My favorite image of Kurtis is the one of him falling asleep while eating some kind of cereal – I think it was whole wheat and peanut butter morsels. If only Jeni could fall asleep so easily.

Linda aka Snoopmurph– I love her name so I always include it. Linda’s son Connor has a place in my heart because he loves Siren’s photo so much. Siren is often difficult to love – he’s complicated and carries with him a giant load of issues. I wonder if Connor can sense that when he gazes at Si’s photo. Wouldn’t surprise me if he did. Connor’s brother Ian is a very entertaining fellow. He appears in one of my all time favorite vlogs. He is quite the star. Linda and her family are what I wish all children had. Actually I wish they’d adopt me.

Michelle – her entry for today is, as I commented to her, “perfect, simply perfect”. And check out the poem from the previous post. You will most likely want to spend some time there.

Each of these blogs will also link you to other blogs and sites. Places where you can learn and understand.

Through J I have become convinced that it only takes a moment of understanding to gain a lifetime of joy. It is his gift to me.