Sunday, September 28, 2008

"And Now For The Sunday Funnies"

I love when George Stephanapaloopy says that – every Sunday morning at about 10:50.

Many of us have been talking about how awful and negative and stressful this political season is. And we’re right. Unfortunately that is what happens – it is part of the process. Some of it is cynical and mean-spirited but some of it comes from passion and caring. When I consider alternative ways of choosing a leader our way always wins.


Doesn’t mean we can’t have a bit of fun.

So I had an idea.

Each Sunday I will post a photo or video clip associated with the campaign. I will alternate between the 2 parties.

You’ll be asked to caption the photo or come up with a line that describes what my chosen person in the video is really thinking. One entry per person. Feel free to comment on each others entries and discuss but – one official entry per person so label it for me.

The comments will stay open through Friday night. Sunday morning to Friday night.
On Saturday I’ll collect all the entries and my panel of judges (me) will choose a winner.
The winner will be announced the following Sunday morning when the new contest goes up.

The prize for this week is a basket of CDs. I will post a photo of it when I can get my fat ass and broken foot downstairs. I don’t know what’s in the basket – all of the CDs are brand new. They are duplicates from the music club or duplicate gifts. You’ll get the basket too!

Future prizes will be:
A framed photo
A vase
Crap from my closet

I think that’s simple and clear enough.

So – here’s our first Sunday funny.

In one line – what is Katie Couric thinking as Sarah describes the bailout

I got this clip from - JOURNEYS WITH JOOD - thank you Jood for once more inspiring me.


Mrs. C said...

Oh, I hate you, but I can't call you out on this answer being obviously coached or I may lose my job.


Dianne, are you sure we can't all go back to the primaries and start over???

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Wait, wait, I can't think straight, I think I tied my hair back too tight! DUH

Daryl said...

Palin: Campaign rhetoric blah blah blah blah

Katie: When exactly is the fall Manolo sale .. and could I possibly ... wait what the hockey puck heck is she saying??? Maybe if I keep blinking she'll disappear....


the teach said...

Katie:WTF is she talking about?

Dianne said...

Oh cool - people are playing!!

mrs c - If we could go back I'd want to go back further than the primaries ;)

queen size funny bone - :) :)

daryl - so clever so early on a Sunday!! have you had a mimosa? I made my own at 10 ;)

teach - I know!

Anonymous said...

Hello! Did she just give me the answer to every possible question???

Minnesotablue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Minnesotablue said...

How in the hell did I get stuck interviewing this bimbo?

Rambling Woods said...

Couric: Thanks but no thanks for the interview on the bridge to nowhere..

bobbie said...

Katie: Wait...where is the Tylenol?...Oh yes, top lefthand drawer of my desk...

Jay said...

Palin: And just to further explain this Katie, let me give you an example. See, by taking that 700 billion from the taxpayers we're making sure that the taxpayers don't do something bad with it. This way we can give it to people who will do good things with it. I think the taxpayers will appreciate not having to worry about all that money. Then they will know that there will be lots more jobs created on Wall Street, because they won't have anymore debt. And debt is just terrible. See, Alaska is right next to Russia. And Russia has a lot of debt. And by being next to Russia I've seen how bad debt can be. So we have to get rid of Wall Street's debt. And when we do that, it will free us up to concentrate on stuff like ... what was it? Oh yeah, healthcare and uh .. other important stuff that we know we need so badly.

Kimmie said...

Katie: " way am I getting paid enough to sit here and listen to this gun slinging, baby poppin', crazy ass bitch bullshit me!"


Jay Simser said...

Oh My God! She still thinks she is answering a question in that beauty contest!!!

Dianne said...

rob - thanks for visiting! I love your tree, I went back to read the older entries.

minnesota - nice to see ya! good one :)

rambling - I think the press is going to go from fighting to interview her to fighting to get away from her! ;)

bobbie - she sure hurts my ears. Katie definitely earned her millions ;)

jay - by being next to Russia we've seen what debt can do - !!!! I love it. that was priceless. Are you going to come back and do Katie. Well not actually do her! that would be shocking. just "do" her one line ;)

kimmie - Holy Crap! and you're such a lady!! see what sarah does? she's destroying the fabric of the nation and she's not even in office. ;)

Dianne said...

jay s - Heaven knows that's probably true. Remember that poor sad girl from an actual beauty show!? she was queen of youtube for weeks. johnny could have picked her. oh wait, he doesn't know what youtube is. ooops!

Micky-T said...

Katie: **sigh** I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this woman. I surely must be on the bridge to nowhere. **sigh**

Jay said...

heh .. I'm a dumbass. It's supposed to be what Katie is thinking. ;-)

Katie: "You know, I left the Today show for prime-time news because I was tired of being stuck interviewing all of the vapid, arrogant celebrities who don't know what the hell they're talking about."

Bear Naked said...


Dish soap
There's something I forgot.
Oh yeah
Toilet Paper

Bear((( )))
(I watched it with the sound OFF)

Kim said...

Katie: Wow...Tina Fey does a much better Palin than Palin!

fermicat said...

I don't know what Katie is thinking, but she sure looks stunned. I figure she is trying very hard to keep her face neutral: "Must. Not. React."

tt said...

Oh shit, I think she's on that bridge to nowhere...should I interupt or just let her fall off?....keep a straight face...look interested....blinking doesn't seem to make her go away...oh gawdddd...she's still talking...well, this will seal the deal....she's officially a moron now....not my fault though....I just asked the qustion....did she really just say that??? and that???? How embarrassing....."

Dianne said...

micky - you have that 'katie sigh' down pat! well done :)

jay - you're not a dumbass, you're a skimmer! we all do it PLUS your Palin was SO good I'm glad we didn't miss it

bear - you're priceless!!

hey kim!! good to see ya :)

fermicat - you may have stumbled upon a new use for Palin! she can be the poor woman's botox

tt - I love the blinking and the slight cock of her head. she really does look stunned! poor katie.

kenju said...

I think Katie is thinking....."Can we just give her a new gun and send her back to Alaska to shoot moose?"

Knight said...

Katie: Just blink, smile, and nod until Austin Kutcher appears because surely I'm being punked.

Knight said...

wait, remove smile from that thought. what was i thinking? Just blink and nod.

gabrielle said...

Hmmm…Can I borrow those Kawasaki 704’s for a minute? Can the picture get any blurrier?

gabrielle said...

ok, as long as we are getting tangential, now about this?

Couric: This is really going beyond the pale.

Editor’s note:
to go beyond the limits of law or decency,
a defense, a safeguard, a barrier, an enclosure, or a limit beyond which it was not permissible to go.
The pale is a noun meaning 'a stake or pointed piece of wood'. It is virtually obsolete now except in this phrase, but is still in use in the associated words paling (as in paling fence) and impale (as in Dracula movies).
The paling fence is significant as the term pale came to mean the area enclosed by such a fence and later just the figurative meaning of 'the area that is enclosed and safe'. So, to be 'beyond the pale' is to be outside the area accepted as 'home'.
The earliest example known is from A Compleat History of Rogues of 1720.

Jeni said...

Katie: "I wish someone had told me that I would be interviewing a clone of DUBYA but in a woman's body."

Linda Reeder said...

Oh, God, I'm going to laugh - please stop!

Betty said...

She's thinking, "Just for the hell of it, I think I'll ask that question again."

Reb said...

Katie: So, this is why they wanted the questions beforehand...too bad no-one told her to wait between answers for the actual questions. OMG, if I blink really fast, I can see the strings that are animating her - no don't look up for the puppet master.

Gretchen said...

Katie: She has to be sniffing her hairspray! No one person can be that stupid!

the walking man said...

Dianne: Couric is thinking. "Will CBS let me do the news from my new Antigua home?"

Diane Mandy said...

Katie can't seem to get this one particular song out of her head. Hollerback from Gwen Stefani and particularly this line keeps ringing in her ear like a bad brainworm:

"It's bananas B A N A N A S.
It's bananas B A N A N A S.
It's bananas B A N A N A S."

Deborah Godin said...

"Bridge to nowhere, bridge to somewhere, I don't care, just let me jump off"

Dianne said...

kenju - you hit on one positive about Palin campaigning - less dead creatures in Alaska.

knight - well for Katie it kinda was a smile ;)

gabrielle - I read that as trangenital - totally different thing! ;)
Perhaps someone will write an essay - Going Beyond the Palin.

jeni - ;) ;)
an idiot in lipstick

linda - :) :) cool!

betty - could you imagine!!

reb - another great question comes out of your response - who is the puppet master? Johnnie doesn't have the time or energy.

gretchen - ahhhh yes! the dangers of hairspray. and of course there may be lead in the lipstick ;)

mark - CBS ain't too in love with the perky princess these days.

diane - iamgine katie as Gwen!! Priceless!

deborah - it takes a lot to make Katie look like that!

DivaJood said...

Wait. Katie was thinking?

Okay, here it is:

Was this really in my contract?

Raven said...

I wish I'd posted this one. I posted the SNL skit which includes those words verbatim - but this is a much more powerful statement on how pathetic this woman is.

I'm never good at these kinds of challenges, but here's my take on what Katie is thinking.

"I will not call her an idiot, I will not call her an idiot.... Please let this be over before I call her an idiot... How insulting is it that I have to pretend this is serious journalism.... I get paid a lot and it's still not enough to have to pretend this betrayal of my country is worthy of objective coverage. This moron is single-handedly going to undo all the progress women have made over the past 40 years. Aggggh... Please don't let me call her an idiot... "

And I thought Jay - the Cynical Bastard - got the voice cadence and dim-wittedness of Palin perfectly in his initial comment. Well done.

Knight said...

On second thought, maybe she is thinking "Mana Mana doo doo do do do."
At least that's what I hear when Palin speaks.

Dianne said...

Jood - LOL, this is not about Katie being an idiot!! this is about what Katie thinks of Sarah being an idiot. there are just too many idiots to keep track of.

raven - Tina did a great job again this past Saturday night!!
I would love for Jay do a vlog AS Sarah Palin - how cool would that be!!

knight - did you know that every time Palin speaks an angel goes deaf?

Anndi said...

I can't see the vid at work but let me just say that Jay had me in stitches! "Being next to Russia" *snort*

And bear naked... oh my! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

Anndi said...

If it's anything like the "please explain to us how proximity to Russia gives you foreign relations experience" interview...

Couric: "4 years of this? Man, I'm actually going to miss Dubya."

Kimmie said...

Hey Dianne,
Just wondering if you got my email?

Dianne said...

anndi - Jay is hilarious!! And I think may do the second best Plain after Tina Fey!! Plain herself comes in 3rd.
and I loved Bear too.
definitely check the video at home, and Raven has the latest Tina video up which is SNLs take on this clip.

kimmie - have not had a chance to go thru blog e-mail - client making me nuts - will do so now :)

Tammy said...

Neat idea, but I really don't know what is going on with the American election.

Richard said...

Katie thinking to herself: " I need to get me some of what she's been smoking."


Bond said...

"Wait...I am a woman...Man I love these shoes I am wearing...I know next to nothing about politics...I wonder if my hair looks good...why didn't John McCain call look at the bright light over there...oops, now what was this person saying...dang, who is she anyway? Oh, right...thank goodness for my notes, she is Sarah she some sort of actress? OH, no right, I got it now...candidate for Vice President...? Wait, they want her to be the VP...I am a woman...I know next to nothing about politics...why didn't John McCain call look at the bright light over there..."

I mean really Dianne, does Katie Couric even think at all????

Anndi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anndi said...

That clip scared the Sweet Baby Jeebus out of me.
If that ticket goes through, I'm going to build a fallout shelter in my basement.

Anndi said...

OK... now that I've actually composed myself a bit and drank a fifth of whiskey... here's my entry:

Couric is thinking: "What do you call a vice presidential candidate from Alaska? Dan Quayle with lipstick."

Dianne said...

tammy - that's OK neither does Palin

rich - Palin probably got it from her future son-in-law ;)

bond - I'm not much of a Katie fan. When I think of all the incredibly credible and talented people - male and female - who could/should be a national anchor. BUT next to Palin she is a freakin' brain surgeon.

anndi - if any of us still have a basement!! I tried (I don't know why) several times to makes sense of what she might/maybe/could have been saying but ...

Mrs.French said...

I laughed so hard at this that I had to go and check out the SNL funny, it's actually scary.

Anonymous said...

So what was Katie thinking? One line?

" need to lay off the chronic for a while."

Michael Manning said...

Jack is a hard-hitting journalist who tells it the way he see's it as does Lou Dobbs. I like Jack and Lou both and they are terrific. I'm too ill to comment on the rest of this mess. lol, dianne!!!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Katie thinks...

"Is it just me or is time standing still?"

Dianne said...

hey mrs. french - thanks for dropping by!! I love your blog, your work is amazing :)
It is kind of scary when you can't tell what is the actual statement and what is the satire.

spartacus - good one :)
I've been talking to a die hard feminist friend of mine over the Plain coverage and we came to the conclusion that referring to her as "honey" or "dear" is NOT sexist. For a spell I felt bad about it but couldn't help myself. Then I realized I was just being gentle because she truly does bring to mind all the dumb girls I went to school with and I always tried to soften my snark by calling them "honey".

michael - are you election ill? or truly ill? I hope you're OK!!
I have a ton of respect and regard for Jack.

RLL - maybe that's why Katie is blinking so much!! She's trying to get the earth to revolve again. ;)

Kay Dennison said...

Katie thought: If I have to listen to this for the next 4 years, I gotta call my agent to get me a LOT more money to pay for the drugs I'll need before talking with her.

Dianne said...

kay - welcome to crazy town!! hope you'll visit often.

Bob-kat said...

Katie is thinking:

"If I just sit here and let her waffle on then perhaps it'll give her enough rope to hange herself with... yeah, a noose would look good with those glasses"

I came back specially to enter as when I first visited at work the other day I couldn't view the video!

Hope your foot is much better!

Dianne said...

bob-cat - thanks for coming back :)
I am ignoring my foot, I'm giving it the cold shoulder lol until it behaves better.

gabrielle said...

Dianne, the Minneapolis Star Tribune finally caught up to you:

Home | Opinion Exchange
Sarah and the tea-soaked madeleine

By Eric Ringham

It calls itself "Sarah Palin's Secret Blog," and as we all know, everything you see on the Web is accurate and credible, right? So it must be true. Here's what she says she was really thinking when Katie Couric asked what she reads:

…Oh yes, and Foreign Affairs. Its standards have certainly have been slipping lately. Sometimes, when I fall under the sway of what William Styron memorably termed “darkness visible,” I ask Piper to pull out the October/November 2007 issue of Foreign Affairs and read me the Rudy Giuliani essay. What preposterous tripe. Giuliani actually writes that maintaining international security is like policing a city. And he thinks the North Vietnamese insurgency was crushed by 1972! ... Piper knows which passages I find especially ludicrous, and she makes googly eyes while she reads them. And we laugh and laugh

Ann said...

As I am not from the US, but the UK, I feel free to say that this woman scares the hell out of me she could rather frightiningly have her finger on that button..... in fact over here she is not considered to be a "hockey Mom" but a "Dingbat Mom".....and her folksy politics are sneered at.....sorreeeeeeeey