So I Decided To Go Out ...

I had been in the house for days when I decided I really had to get out last Thursday. The news had said showers in the morning with gradual clearing after 1 PM.

I looked out the window a little after 1 and the sky did indeed seem to be brightening so out I went.

Once outside I noticed that the sky not visible from the kitchen window was dark and foreboding but in my capacity as freakin' self proclaimed meteorologist I decided the storms were headed north.

I was already out and the cupboards were bare so off I went.

Not even 10 minutes later ...

The first drops hit the car so hard I jumped. Even with the wipers on high it was impossible to see. Many of us pulled into the first parking lot we could find and just sat.

For 40 minutes.

The streets flooded so quickly.

The excitement never ends.

I'm Too Stupid For My Smart Phone

This is the first ever pic I took with my first ever smart phone.

Not bad. I was waiting for takeout at the Chinese restaurant when I took this shot.

I was trying to check my voice mail when I took this shot.

Imagine how good it would have come out if I was trying to take a photo.

I got the phone in December as a gift to myself. During Hurricane Sandy it became very clear that the first ever digital phone that I got at Radio Shack a million years ago was sick and tired.

How wonderful it would be to have a phone that was smart.

Nobody likes a wise-ass.

Maybe it's my fat fingers. Maybe it's my fat head.
I can't seem to hit the right buttons. I can't see all the tiny thingies. I don't know what all the icons mean.

Forget about the tree falling in the forest when no one is there.

Can you undo the thing you didn't know you were doing?

Look! Up in the Sky!

At the marina taking photos of the gulls a chorus of honking approached. It took a moment to find them in the sky and as soon as I did I took as many shots as I could.

Oh well, I returned to the gulls.

I had been leaning on a fence near the water's edge with my cane resting beside me. My balance is off since it's the left ankle and right hip that are most damaged but as long as I have an anchor point I'm usually fine.

The noise started up again. I grabbed my cane and moved toward the sound. They were really honking up a storm now as they circled the marina. One hand on cane, other on camera I turned and turned trying to focus and shoot and hang on.

I was a bit dizzy after all that and I thought I was imagining that I couldn't move but actually I had screwed my cane deep into the sand and had caught the tip of it on a piece of exposed pipe. I was going to take a photo of it standing there on its own for your amusement but a young man walked by and pulled it out for me. He chuckled and said he admired my moves.

Only me.

Open Letter To My Cats

Dear Siren and Isadora,

You know I love you very much and I'm sure you love me too.

Yet sometimes love is not enough.

What a clusterf**k of a weekend you two handed me. I know it stinks to have health issues and that at times you're uncomfortable. It makes you difficult and grumpy; trust me, I get it.

Of course you'd feel better if you took the pain meds without gagging, shrieking, hissing, and flailing about with all claws extended. Just a suggestion.

Your vet and all his assistants are the best there is. Siren, you're like Norm from Cheers; everyone knows your name. Unfortunately it's followed by get the heavier gloves, maybe we need sedation and I think we need more people in here. You have made German Shepherds cry and Pit Bulls hide. Children think you're a bobcat.

Don't get too full of yourself Isadora; you're no picnic either. Knowing that you freak out in small carriers I got you one big enough for a large dog or 2 cats - god forbid you should just share with Siren. Of course not. The carrier weighs a ton Iza, and you're not exactly a tiny girl so thrusting yourself around like a crazed dancer doing a bizarre Merce Cunningham routine does not make it easy to transport you. Neither does sticking out your paw and digging your claws deep into my carrying hand. I do appreciate the pain though, it balances out the pain in my back and ankle.

You are always going to need meds. You will visit the vet once a month forever.

Let's work together eh?

No more hiding in the coils of the sofa.
No one is trying to kill you.
Wherever we are I will stay with you and I will always bring you home.

Can I get an Amen

Life Is ...

... not a box of chocolates I'm sorry to tell Forrest Gump. Not this week.

It's more like ...

a traffic jam and an oncoming truck.

The unseasonably warm and humid weather this week has made me hazy. And grouchy.
I'm always grouchy when I'm spritzing.

The cats have not had a good week. Siren's meds are not working long enough but to increase the frequency would cause other issues. We've been working on more nutritional and holistic treatments but if you know cats then you know that the smallest change to their routine is very stressful to them. Isadora goes to the vet this morning. She's been hiding and crying and I'm not sure why.

My battle with the bank over a mortgage modification based on my huge drop in income heats up next week and I'm not looking forward to that.

I haven't seen Hope at all this week and if there was ever a need for a good shot of Hope it was this week. She's been going to after school activities and to her aunt's house since their new baby is due any day now. I'm thrilled that she's so excited but I'm also selfishly wanting my time with her.

I feel a long series of whines and bitches coming on so that's enough for now.

Oy

Can You Read Me Now?

My long connectivity nightmare is over.

After days of turn on/turn off, check connection, check plug, my back is on fire.
Why are plugs and outlets and connections always behind heavy furniture that only dust bunnies can reach?

After days of “for quality purposes your call may be recorded” and “the estimated wait time for speaking with a technician is 20 minutes to never”, I figured out the problem on my own.

Not before I spoke to Peter and Gary and Roger and Sean. Together we pinged and dinged and donged their schlongs. They were impatient and humorless. Peter was especially abrupt and I asked if I could please speak to Sanjay back in India; he was smart and funny and polite. Peter was not amused.

I assume he has a degree from MIT and this is all he can find in this economy. Tough shit Peter; learn to be grateful

At some point last weekend my McAfee anti-virus software sent out an automatic update that merged and mushed and mingled with signals from Curiosity on Mars to create a perfect storm of un-connectedness.
I discovered this by having this odd feeling that my firewall might be an issue; it has been in the past. So I started hunting around the internet tubes to look for firewall flaming facts. Using the Atari style desktop made the journey so convenient.

Eventually I put together a scenario that could explain my problems. I found a virtual technician (better than a blow-up sex doll) and together VT and I solved my problems.

And it only took a week!

Now of course the phone pole outside is still leaning and my land line still has unbearable static but that could be because Homeland Security broke the pole when they were installing the wiretaps. So each time I hear the static as I try to find a dial tone I say hi to Chris Christie (my big fat douchebag of a governor) or to the horror of a human who runs around my town putting up Obama as Hitler posters.

Bless their hearts.

I am so glad (and grateful Peter!) to be back. I’ll catch up.

I leave you with this …

Jon Stewart says this photo finally explains to him the Obama that the Republicans see.

Thanks Clint, You Made My Day

Some Summer Stuff

It is so freakin' hot. Triple digit heat index expected today.


I haven't been feeling all that perky this week.

Isadora loves it when the laundry piles up

She discovered by getting stuck in the hamper that she must wait for the clothes to reach critical height before settling in

I took a drive down to the beach early one morning before the temps reached sizzle

Good heavens were people being crucified!

The well part of my mind assumes banners for some summer something

Stay cool everybody

I'm Hot

So as the ...

... set in I was cleaning the house and enjoying the fresh coolness of my central air

Temperatures surpassed 100 degrees (Fahrenheit) and barely cooled to 90 as the picturesque NJ night crept in

I was feeling mighty warm but assumed it was a hot flash spell

Until I checked the thermostat. Set for 76 it read 83. Remember now, all temps are Fahrenheit. We don't know nothin' bout Celsius and metrics here in these mighty States of United. We don't need to learn.

In keeping with the basic flow of my clusterfuck of a life my AC unit was dying on Day One of a Heat Wave.

At dawn on Thursday (Day Two) I approached the unit ...

... confirmed that it was a good for nothing lazy bastard and called the AC guy. Guess what? AC guys are busy during a heat wave. Who'd of thunk it!

Thankfully the house is populated with ceiling fans

which really work to circulate air. They are especially helpful when circulating CONDITIONED air. If you chose to use them in plain old regular air during a motherfreaking heat wave you might as well just sit in an ...

Regrettably there is no man with a big hose in my life

So I needed to take tons of showers alone

AC guy arrives Friday evening and after two expensive hours of investigation he declares that we need an electrician. An electrician on Friday night during a heat wave just north of the Jersey Shore. No problem.

Our regular guy had gone fishing. I was going to check Angie's List but the laptop was overheating and surprisingly didn't respond well to a cold drink.

You youngins might not recognize this ...

but with the wizard like skill of reading and calling I was able to find an emergency (aka very expensive) electrician who managed to show up on a Friday night and jiggle a few wires.

So as the heat wave busting storms rolled in ...

old not so faithful began turning and conditioning and as I publish this the temp inside this here palace of mine is a lovely 74. Of course it's fucking 60 outside right now but I choose not to dwell on the ironic.


For all of Hope's fans - she was visiting her cousins and had sleepovers all over NYC in order to remain as cool on the outside as she is on the inside.

I want YOU to be cool

Mishegas

It's been a week

Here are some photos I took recently that make me happy

 Nana, that looks just like your OY face

One of my favorite streets in town

NJ's version of wildflowers

Audrey Hepburn

Try to be Zen

 

I went to open my car window and nature asked my WHY

Toothy devil woman with balls

flowers from the well

keep on keepin' on

Just stop and relax

Life is simple, it's just not easy.  ~Author Unknown



Cookies and Crapola - Madness for Week 8

Madness - as in losing my mind, wondering what the hell it is I'm thinking most of the time
Although if I wonder maybe I'm not mad, just odd

Stress can do strange things to a person

I'm tired

If my ship ever does come in I'll be stuck at the RR crossing on my way to the airport

Every time I get in the car I want to run away

Fly away

Swim away

I'm buried beneath worry over the cats - and money, and family, and healthcare, and ...

There's so much to think about I get foggy

Ready to hang myself

Or at least wave a white flag

As I go around and around looking for the bright spots

So that's my story at the moment

Siren is doing well, he has responded to his meds and resumed his normal behavior

Isadora is going back to the vet today for more tests. She is not eating or drinking. She has not responded to her meds. She hides and when I manage to get her out she cries and shrinks away.

Cookies and Crapola - Week 4

I have spared you from me all week but now ...

I'm afraid there is mostly crapola this week. As Jon Stewart would say - "let's take a closer look at this clusterfuck"

My entire big fat head is encased in infection. My sinuses, my gums; I think my hair might need to be shaved off to allow my head to bake in the sun.

For several weeks now my bad ankle, the one that needs surgery if I ever get to see a doctor, has been hurting more than usual. I have the support boot I got four years ago and I wear it on really bad days but I'm not even sure if it fits correctly anymore. I could be doing more harm than good.

And so I pamper it by walking at an odd tilt

Which of course causes all other sorts of issues.

I am so sick of myself. Cleaning, laundry, errands, taking care of the cats - they all become larger than they are.

I know to stay in the moment and I practice gratitude and humor yet sometimes ...

like an idiot ...

I get frustrated.

I'll bounce back ...

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning to do afterward.

~ Kurt Vonnegut