So I Decided To Go Out ...

I had been in the house for days when I decided I really had to get out last Thursday. The news had said showers in the morning with gradual clearing after 1 PM.

I looked out the window a little after 1 and the sky did indeed seem to be brightening so out I went.

Once outside I noticed that the sky not visible from the kitchen window was dark and foreboding but in my capacity as freakin' self proclaimed meteorologist I decided the storms were headed north.

I was already out and the cupboards were bare so off I went.

Not even 10 minutes later ...

The first drops hit the car so hard I jumped. Even with the wipers on high it was impossible to see. Many of us pulled into the first parking lot we could find and just sat.

For 40 minutes.

The streets flooded so quickly.

The excitement never ends.

It's All About Me

Not something I say much, not my style.

My infrequent posts and visits to all of you has been bothering me. I value our connections and always feel "schmucky" when I don't check in on youse guys.

I just don't feel well.

I am constantly uncomfortable, sometimes in pain. It makes me grumpy and worse, it makes it really hard to focus for very long. I lose my train of thought and ...

What was I saying?

Oh yeah - I feel like shit on a shingle. One of my Mom's favorite sayings.

I keep getting mystery infections. By the time they figure out what the hell is going on I've spent days with a fever, falling asleep every 2 hours.

Like a newborn.

The problems at home have gotten so toxic that I have started to look for a place of my own. Lots of luck on that front. Hurricane Sandy has contributed to a huge shortage of affordable housing in all of the counties I'd like to live in.

I hesitate to discuss my relationship with my daughter-in-law out of respect and love for Hope. I'm just going to say that it is impossible for us to exist in the same zip code let alone the same building - doesn't matter how big this freakin' house is. 

I can't contribute to this household on my disability income the way I did when I was working. That appears to be a punishable offense.

Anyhoo - I feel like I've already said too much and that I'm whining. Neither is attractive.

I think I'll try to post more on  The Photo Blog  and I will do my best to visit.

Be kind to one another - you have no idea how important that is.

I'm Too Stupid For My Smart Phone

This is the first ever pic I took with my first ever smart phone.

Not bad. I was waiting for takeout at the Chinese restaurant when I took this shot.

I was trying to check my voice mail when I took this shot.

Imagine how good it would have come out if I was trying to take a photo.

I got the phone in December as a gift to myself. During Hurricane Sandy it became very clear that the first ever digital phone that I got at Radio Shack a million years ago was sick and tired.

How wonderful it would be to have a phone that was smart.

Nobody likes a wise-ass.

Maybe it's my fat fingers. Maybe it's my fat head.
I can't seem to hit the right buttons. I can't see all the tiny thingies. I don't know what all the icons mean.

Forget about the tree falling in the forest when no one is there.

Can you undo the thing you didn't know you were doing?

Look! Up in the Sky!

At the marina taking photos of the gulls a chorus of honking approached. It took a moment to find them in the sky and as soon as I did I took as many shots as I could.

Oh well, I returned to the gulls.

I had been leaning on a fence near the water's edge with my cane resting beside me. My balance is off since it's the left ankle and right hip that are most damaged but as long as I have an anchor point I'm usually fine.

The noise started up again. I grabbed my cane and moved toward the sound. They were really honking up a storm now as they circled the marina. One hand on cane, other on camera I turned and turned trying to focus and shoot and hang on.

I was a bit dizzy after all that and I thought I was imagining that I couldn't move but actually I had screwed my cane deep into the sand and had caught the tip of it on a piece of exposed pipe. I was going to take a photo of it standing there on its own for your amusement but a young man walked by and pulled it out for me. He chuckled and said he admired my moves.

Only me.

I'm Not Here, and Not All There

I’ve been a lackluster blogger lately. Family drama, finances and health issues are weighing me down and I’m having a difficult time focusing for more than a few moments at a time.

I read someone’s post 3 times before it really registers and by then I don’t remember what I wanted to comment. I’m one of those bloggers who doesn’t like to post a lot or join a photo meme if she’s not going to visit others.

I was going to unload a few details of all my crapola but the family stuff involves others and I can’t figure out how to write about them and keep them anonymous at the same time. 

The finances are WTF could anyone do unless you win lotto and want to give me some money. 

And I’m so sick of my own body. I just fuckin’ hate it right now and don’t get me started on doctors; if all you want to do as a doctor is make money then be a plastic surgeon. Hell, the casts of the Real Housewives shows will send all your kids to Ivy League and let you have a trophy wife and a whore.

If you’re a Primary Care doctor than take care of primary needs and fucking care a bit.

So there I am. I’ll get over myself. 

Love Youse Guys

A Great Mind at Work

This is what comes to me while waiting at a red light.

Life Is ...

... not a box of chocolates I'm sorry to tell Forrest Gump. Not this week.

It's more like ...

a traffic jam and an oncoming truck.

The unseasonably warm and humid weather this week has made me hazy. And grouchy.
I'm always grouchy when I'm spritzing.

The cats have not had a good week. Siren's meds are not working long enough but to increase the frequency would cause other issues. We've been working on more nutritional and holistic treatments but if you know cats then you know that the smallest change to their routine is very stressful to them. Isadora goes to the vet this morning. She's been hiding and crying and I'm not sure why.

My battle with the bank over a mortgage modification based on my huge drop in income heats up next week and I'm not looking forward to that.

I haven't seen Hope at all this week and if there was ever a need for a good shot of Hope it was this week. She's been going to after school activities and to her aunt's house since their new baby is due any day now. I'm thrilled that she's so excited but I'm also selfishly wanting my time with her.

I feel a long series of whines and bitches coming on so that's enough for now.

Oy

Can You Read Me Now?

My long connectivity nightmare is over.

After days of turn on/turn off, check connection, check plug, my back is on fire.
Why are plugs and outlets and connections always behind heavy furniture that only dust bunnies can reach?

After days of “for quality purposes your call may be recorded” and “the estimated wait time for speaking with a technician is 20 minutes to never”, I figured out the problem on my own.

Not before I spoke to Peter and Gary and Roger and Sean. Together we pinged and dinged and donged their schlongs. They were impatient and humorless. Peter was especially abrupt and I asked if I could please speak to Sanjay back in India; he was smart and funny and polite. Peter was not amused.

I assume he has a degree from MIT and this is all he can find in this economy. Tough shit Peter; learn to be grateful

At some point last weekend my McAfee anti-virus software sent out an automatic update that merged and mushed and mingled with signals from Curiosity on Mars to create a perfect storm of un-connectedness.
I discovered this by having this odd feeling that my firewall might be an issue; it has been in the past. So I started hunting around the internet tubes to look for firewall flaming facts. Using the Atari style desktop made the journey so convenient.

Eventually I put together a scenario that could explain my problems. I found a virtual technician (better than a blow-up sex doll) and together VT and I solved my problems.

And it only took a week!

Now of course the phone pole outside is still leaning and my land line still has unbearable static but that could be because Homeland Security broke the pole when they were installing the wiretaps. So each time I hear the static as I try to find a dial tone I say hi to Chris Christie (my big fat douchebag of a governor) or to the horror of a human who runs around my town putting up Obama as Hitler posters.

Bless their hearts.

I am so glad (and grateful Peter!) to be back. I’ll catch up.

I leave you with this …

Jon Stewart says this photo finally explains to him the Obama that the Republicans see.

Thanks Clint, You Made My Day

Some Summer Stuff

It is so freakin' hot. Triple digit heat index expected today.


I haven't been feeling all that perky this week.

Isadora loves it when the laundry piles up

She discovered by getting stuck in the hamper that she must wait for the clothes to reach critical height before settling in

I took a drive down to the beach early one morning before the temps reached sizzle

Good heavens were people being crucified!

The well part of my mind assumes banners for some summer something

Stay cool everybody

I'm Hot

So as the ...

... set in I was cleaning the house and enjoying the fresh coolness of my central air

Temperatures surpassed 100 degrees (Fahrenheit) and barely cooled to 90 as the picturesque NJ night crept in

I was feeling mighty warm but assumed it was a hot flash spell

Until I checked the thermostat. Set for 76 it read 83. Remember now, all temps are Fahrenheit. We don't know nothin' bout Celsius and metrics here in these mighty States of United. We don't need to learn.

In keeping with the basic flow of my clusterfuck of a life my AC unit was dying on Day One of a Heat Wave.

At dawn on Thursday (Day Two) I approached the unit ...

... confirmed that it was a good for nothing lazy bastard and called the AC guy. Guess what? AC guys are busy during a heat wave. Who'd of thunk it!

Thankfully the house is populated with ceiling fans

which really work to circulate air. They are especially helpful when circulating CONDITIONED air. If you chose to use them in plain old regular air during a motherfreaking heat wave you might as well just sit in an ...

Regrettably there is no man with a big hose in my life

So I needed to take tons of showers alone

AC guy arrives Friday evening and after two expensive hours of investigation he declares that we need an electrician. An electrician on Friday night during a heat wave just north of the Jersey Shore. No problem.

Our regular guy had gone fishing. I was going to check Angie's List but the laptop was overheating and surprisingly didn't respond well to a cold drink.

You youngins might not recognize this ...

but with the wizard like skill of reading and calling I was able to find an emergency (aka very expensive) electrician who managed to show up on a Friday night and jiggle a few wires.

So as the heat wave busting storms rolled in ...

old not so faithful began turning and conditioning and as I publish this the temp inside this here palace of mine is a lovely 74. Of course it's fucking 60 outside right now but I choose not to dwell on the ironic.


For all of Hope's fans - she was visiting her cousins and had sleepovers all over NYC in order to remain as cool on the outside as she is on the inside.

I want YOU to be cool

Mishegas

It's been a week

Here are some photos I took recently that make me happy

 Nana, that looks just like your OY face

One of my favorite streets in town

NJ's version of wildflowers

Audrey Hepburn

Try to be Zen

 

I went to open my car window and nature asked my WHY

Toothy devil woman with balls

flowers from the well

keep on keepin' on

Just stop and relax

Life is simple, it's just not easy.  ~Author Unknown



Cookies and Crapola - Madness for Week 8

Madness - as in losing my mind, wondering what the hell it is I'm thinking most of the time
Although if I wonder maybe I'm not mad, just odd

Stress can do strange things to a person

I'm tired

If my ship ever does come in I'll be stuck at the RR crossing on my way to the airport

Every time I get in the car I want to run away

Fly away

Swim away

I'm buried beneath worry over the cats - and money, and family, and healthcare, and ...

There's so much to think about I get foggy

Ready to hang myself

Or at least wave a white flag

As I go around and around looking for the bright spots

So that's my story at the moment

Siren is doing well, he has responded to his meds and resumed his normal behavior

Isadora is going back to the vet today for more tests. She is not eating or drinking. She has not responded to her meds. She hides and when I manage to get her out she cries and shrinks away.