Kennedy Center Honors

Happy Day After/Boxing Day/or just plain December 26th

Hope everyone had a happy merry everything.

One of my favorite year end events is the Kennedy Center Honors

This year the honorees are ...

Dustin Hoffman
Led Zeppelin
Buddy Guy
Natalia Makarova

and last but not least, a man I adore ...

Dave

Sexy and Sarcastic and Smart
Self-deprecating in a boyish way
A kind man who took care of a musician who was broke and needed cancer treatments
A businessman who paid his writers during the strike
He likes to play the fool but has a keen mind for social and political issues

I'm betting that it was excruciating for him to handle being honored. He has always battled with depression and feelings of not being good enough. He told his studio audience that he was waiting for the re-count.

He's more than good enough to me.

CBS will air the Kennedy Center Honors celebration tonight at 9 PM eastern time.

Bravo to all

My Election Season Savior

I hadn't realized how much better David Letterman makes me feel until last night's show. He always makes me laugh and smile and I think he's incredibly smart and sexy but last night he reminded me how much we think alike.

He's sick of the campaign. He comes up with all the ways that a billion dollars could be better spent.

I want to do what many other countries do. 6 week campaign. No ads. Set amount of money for each candidate.

Anyhoo

Last night he made me feel so much more comfortable with how negative I'm feeling toward our entire process of electing someone. Don't misunderstand me. I hate how this election highlights how divided we are and I detest how the media exploits that.

But I gotta be me.

And snark can be funny. Especially when it's so close to the truth.

I give you the man who wants to be the next Vice President. One heartbeat away from the Oval Office.

Not in a boy band

Not a black rapper

Not a ball player

Not a film director on set

Just a big ole Douche

Take it away Dave

Top Ten Thoughts Going Through Paul Ryan's Mind At This Moment

10. "These weights are 100 pounds each"
9.   "My biceps are cut like taxes for the wealthiest one percent"
8.   "Of course they won't publish this on the most important day of my political career"
7.   "My flaccid smirk will motivate Americans to get in shape"
6.   "What's the worst people will say about me and a photo of a dumbbell?"
5.   "There's no three-day waiting period at this gun show"
4.   "Please, please ask me to take my shirt off..."
3.   "Why are the people giggling?"
2.   "Please, please, ask me to take off my shorts..."
1.   "Maybe now people will take me seriously"

#6 is my favorite 

Thank You Dave



Cookies and Crapola - Week 6

A wee bit of crapola - I finally have an appointment for the primary care doc, it's May 10th. Yep - takes a month to get an appointment. Then comes the beginning of referrals and ...
Frustrating but so much better than nothing.

Happy 65th Birthday to David Letterman. He is, in my humble opinion, the best (other than Carson) and always will be. He brought irreverence to late night and was the first to do on the street skits and to include the audience as part of the joke.

Newark Mayor Cory Booker helped save his neighbor from a fire. Booker arrived home Thursday evening to discover the apartment next door on fire. A member of his security detail was already getting people out of the building when Booker was told that there was one woman still inside. Booker ran in with another one of his security people, found the woman in a back room and carried her out through a kitchen that was fully engulfed. The woman suffered burns on her back and is in the hospital. Booker was treated for smoke inhalation and burns on his hand and was released late that night.

Hope had a park play date with her best friend Daniel and one of the Moms took this photo. Daniel doesn't look thrilled to be hugged but Hope is clearly happy.

We're celebrating a Big Fat Greek Easter tomorrow with a house full of people.

Have a Good One Everyone.

Cookies and Crapola - Week 3

Let's start with a cookie in the oven. I think I have finally found a primary care physician. Now I just need to wait for the insurance company to confirm my choice, then wait for an appointment, then ...

After finally getting coverage for the first time in nearly 4 years it's so frustrating that it takes months to find a doctor.

It's not like healthcare is time sensitive or anything

I want to adopt Jennifer Lawrence. I didn't know much about the actress before the media circus for 'The Hunger Games' started. I saw her on the red carpet at some award show and thought she looked like every other tall blond actress in a tight dress. I was wrong.

She's incredibly funny and sweet and self-deprecating. She gave a wonderful interview to David Letterman. When asked about dealing with the red carpet she said she had to remember "to suck it all in" and was usually so nervous that she "acted like a chihuahua, shaking and peeing"

And what goes with cookies?
Ice cream of course

I said I could do it myself, I didn't say it would be easy

Have a good weekend everybody
Today is Chocolate Covered Raisin Day so have some, fruit is good for you.

Striking Resemblance

James McCartney appeared on Letterman last night. The 34 year old son of Sir Paul looks a lot like Dad.

Dad is still one handsome guy.

Similar gestures

At the Ed Sullivan theater - James, not Paul

James has a pleasant enough sound, I wasn't overly impressed.

Paul was never my favorite Beatle. It was Ringo all through my youth, I had a thing for funny looking guys and then it was John for his activism and intelligent lyrics.

I think Paul has become greater as he gets older.

All good things for James.

All About Tuesday

Don’t be scared, this post is not all about what I’m doing today.

It’s about a soldier named Luis Montalvan and a dog named Tuesday.

Captain Montalvan was injured during his second tour in Iraq. Traumatic Brain Injury and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and three fractured vertebrae are but three of the issues that he is dealing with.

You can see Captain Montalvan talk about what happened in THIS SHORT FILM produced last year. You also get to meet Tuesday and see how he helps Luis every single day deal with things like balance problems and panic attacks and nightmares. Tuesday reminds Luis to take his meds and buffers Luis from crowds that might trigger a flashback. Before Tuesday came into his life Luis rarely left his apartment and was drinking heavily. He found the lengthy battle and wait for VA help to be so frustrating that he often just gave up.

Captain Montalvan and Tuesday were brought together with the help of Senator Al Franken and  EDUCATED CANINES ASSISTING DISABILITIES. Senator Franken has since passed a bill to create a pilot program that will get more service dogs paired with wounded soldiers.

Senator Franken talks about that in THIS CLIP.

I first learned of Captain Montalvan and Tuesday when they appeared ON LETTERMAN to promote THE BOOK he has written about his life with Tuesday. If you watch this clip you will immediately notice the difference in the Captain’s demeanor compared to the video shot a year ago. You also get to see Letterman beg Tuesday for a hug.

With all the soldiers languishing in a crappy VA benefits systems and with all the shelter dogs waiting for a home it seems to me this program is a win-win or as Senator Franken says - “We have to reform our system, and I know we will. My solution: more dogs.”

Cat Burglar

This is Dusty ...

This is Dusty's mug shot - kind of, sorta

In the past three years Dusty has wandered his neighborhood at night collecting everything from small toys to pajamas and bringing his collectibles back to his humans. He has gathered over 600 objects.

You can read about Dusty in this article from USA Today

And you can see his appearance on Letterman

That's where I first heard of Dusty.

Cats are gatherers and they bring what they discover back to those they love so clearly Dusty is happy at home. The neighbors have gotten accustomed to his behavior and if something is missing they know where to look - Dusty's yard.

Although this is a fun story and Dusty is adorable I just need to mention that I take issue with allowing domesticated cats to wander from home. I don't think it's safe for them. Letterman shared this opinion with Dusty's people - they say he gets out through the dog door. Dave suggested sealing the dog door. I love Dave.

Have a good weekend everyone.

The Biggest Piece of Crap at NBC

I'm not a Conan O'Brien fan. Before Craig Ferguson came along late, late night TV was reading a book. I think Conan is a wonderful comedy writer, I just don't enjoy his comedic delivery.

Yet right now I'd gladly punch Jay Leno in his big fat distorted face for Conan. Conan took a million years off and re-located his family so they could move Leno to 10 PM and get Jimmy Fallon started.

It was an asshat move to begin with and now NBC is scrambling to fix it by talking about moving Leno back to 11:30 and moving everyone down by a half hour. So Conan ends up half-assed in his old time slot. And poor Jimmy Fallon gets the dead air reserved for the likes of Carson Daly.

Speaking of Carsons. Johnny Carson wanted David Letterman to get The Tonight Show but Leno chinned his way in there. Then he blamed everyone else for the ugliness. If you're going to be a two chinned weasel then at least be ruthless enough to take credit for it.

Grow a pair Jay!

Better yet - Just fucking retire. You suck at stand-up. Your monologues are pathetic. You're an ass kissing interviewer.

Get in one of your 500 classic cars and take a long, long road trip. Think Thelma and Louise.

Oh Sarah! Not You Again

I guess many of you have heard about the ridiculous outrage over some jokes Letterman told about Sarah Palin.

If not – here’s a LINK to Dave’s response to Palin and Co. expressing their outrage in their usual style.

It seems to center around Dave joking that while in NY Palin would need to keep Elliot Spitzer (former governor caught with hookers) away from her daughter. After Palin and Rudy Giuliani and their posse went to Yankee Stadium Dave joked that Palin might be concerned about A Rod knocking up their daughter.

Just to be clear – he was referring to the daughter who has already been knocked up. The one that is 18 and the one that is endlessly being used by Mama Bear Killer to produce PSAs telling young people fiction about sex and life. That daughter. The one that has been trotted around like a show dog since day 1.

See virginal daughter. See outcome of our excellent parenting. Oops! See pregnant teen. See outcome of our value of life. See teen and boy will marry. Oops! See we lost the election. See baby’s Dad tossed to the curb. See daughter and next generation we will screw up do talk radio.

How the hell Dave’s questionable jokes turned into advocating rape of a 14 year old (a different daughter) and encouraging sexual abuse of children and …

It goes on and on.

If you check out the response I linked you will also be treated to tons of clips of all the Fox geniuses discussing this at length along with home grown videos from every corner of right wing crazy town.

Whether you like/agree with Letterman’s comedy and opinions or not, I can’t imagine anyone thinks he is the kind of person to advocate rape and child abuse.

It amazes me where Palin’s mind immediately goes. And this isn’t the first time she was the one to go to the dark and perverted place.

Of equal importance to Sarah were Dave’s jokes about her make-up. Makes sense to me. You joke about my child. And then my make-up!! – Now I’m pissed.

Personally I think ALL children of ALL public figures should be off limits. I’ll never forget news coverage of Alec Baldwin’s daughter, covered with a sheet, being carried into school by bodyguards as paparazzi shouted out to her “You father says your Mom is a whore.”

I find lots of comedy offensive – to some degree that is part of what comedy is – pushing the envelope, snarking, saying things that we’re all thinking.

I hate when Dave jokes about Hilary Clinton being masculine. I hate when he makes fun of fat women. Doesn’t mean he needs to be censored, taken off the air, or shot from a helicopter.

In a world full of museum shootings, starving children and wars blossoming into new wars this is BS.

So why am I even mentioning it?

Because Sarah Plain and Moronic went on to (again) spout off about how NY and CA are not part of America and how we don’t get the values real Americans are concerned with.

I AM SO SICK OF THIS TACTIC OF DIVIDING AMERICA.

Talk about Un-American. Then again, Mr. Palin knows a lot about Un-American activities. The governor doesn't fall far from the husband.

This ugly, ignorant, vile woman could care less about anything other than selling her book and trying her best to keep her overly made up face out there until 2012 so she can come back and spew more hate and lies.

I absolutely think Dave should leave her children alone.

They have enough problems.

Move Over Baseball - Fear is the New Pastime

I’m working on my THINK GREEN THURSDAY post but this is too priceless not to share.

David Letterman had this wonderful bit of the Lieutenant Governor of Iowa during her swine flu press conference.

For some reason embedding just doesn’t like me so go HERE to see the clip.

I saw my first mask wearing geniuses today. A gaggle of clucking loons exiting their Hummer (which is far more likely to kill them - and the planet) in the strip mall parking lot.

Little boy passing says to his Mom – “Are those ladies going to paint something?”

My candidate for Mom of the Year replies – “No, they’re just idiots.”

You may notice that I’m posting at 2 AM. I just finished duct taping all the windows and burying all the bacon and boiling my hands so I’m a little wound up.

Good Lord America! Calm the “F” down!!

I used to think context was America’s lost art. But then I read THIS at Bailey’s Buddy.

Perspective America, perspective. Gain some.

You want to live longer? Turn off the freaking news and go outside and stand in the sun.

I’ll be back later today with my THINK GREEN THURSDAY post. Check out the site. Get in on the ground floor.

Unless of course someone within 3 miles of me coughs – Or – a plane flies near a building – Or – a meteor passes millions of miles above – Or – a gay couple marries and Jesus’ tears drown me – Or – my Muslim neighbors of 6 years suddenly Jihad my ass – Or – the recording breaking April temperatures cause me to combust – Or …

So Much Snark - So Little Time

David Letterman called this ...

President-Elect Meets President-Inept



Seemed to suit the moment. Although I do think "inept" is far too kind. But hopefully history, special investigations and the courts will sort that out.

If you don't watch Dave you should at least catch his 'Great Moments in Presidential Speeches' spots. Probably on his site and Youtube. Soak in the contrast between a speech by 'W' and any other President - ever!! Even before there were recording devices!!

Because after January 20 we are going to need to get reacquainted with what the English language sounds like coming from the White House. Whole sentences, complete thoughts and not a folkism to be found.

Imagine that!! I can.

"THERE'S NO SUSPENDING DEMOCRACY!"

I never post this close together but this is just too topical to wait. I hope you'll scroll down and say Hi to Cloris Leachman.

The delightful thing about comedy, good comedy, is that it is rooted in truth. The Loves of My Late Night Life proved that Wednesday.

Christopher Webber from Political-Machine describes David Letterman’s monologue -

McCain was supposed to appear on "The Late Show" tonight but canceled at the last minute to (stage a political stunt) focus with a laser-like intensity on the economy. At the taping this afternoon, Dave showed his unhappiness, and his political savvy -
"You don't suspend your campaign. This doesn't smell right. This isn't the way a tested hero behaves." And he joked: "I think someone's putting something in his metamucil.""He can't run the campaign because the economy is cratering? Fine, put in your second string quarterback, Sarah Palin. Where is she?""What are you going to do if you're elected and things get tough? Suspend being president? We've got a guy like that now!"

It's funny cuz it's true.

Here’s the video of Dave’s monologue


Dave went on during his Top 10 List:

Top Ten Questions People Are Asking the John McCain Campaign
10 - "I just contributed to your campaign -- how do I get a refund?"
9 - "It's Sarah Palin -- does this mean I'm Pars'dent?"
8 - "Can't you solve this by selling some of your homes?"
7 - "Hi, this is Clay Aiken. Is McCain single?"
6 - "Do you still think the fundamentals of our economy are strong, genius?"
5 - "Are you doing all this just to get out of going on Letterman?"
4 - "What would Matlock do?"
3 - "Hillary here -- my schedule is free Friday night"
2 - "Is this just an excuse to catch up on napping?"
1 - "This is President Bush -- what's all this trouble with the economy?”

All of this is especially wonderful to me since McCain showed what a douchebag (Hi Brooklyn) he is by pulling this transparent stunt at the 11th hour – as Dave so gleefully points out – again and again. And the only coverage of Caribou Barbie that I caught was her wagging her Mommy finger at the camera and talking about how the whole country is looking to John McCain for guidance. Bitch Please!

The night continues into Craig Ferguson’s show. I quote him in the title.

Dave is never more sexy to me than when he is saying stuff without saying stuff but making his point crystal clear.

Craig is never more sexy to me than when he is indignant and on one of his incredibly articulate rants.

Here is the link to Craig’s monologue. I could not find a version to embed.
Craig at CBS

Ya know – I made myself sick yesterday – physically, mentally, emotionally sick – over how crass and cold and disgusting McCain/Palin and many of their supporters are. This country lies on the brink of a huge upheaval and they are nothing but dead rock in our way. Unfortunately many of the rocks have far more power and money than they are entitled to – greedy bastards.

BUT – there is always laughter. Laughter heals – Laughter brings people together – and Laughter can carry a message far and wide.

I gotta tell ya - I am "CockAHoop"

Late night, and even later night, returns tonight! And thanks to Dave - he who "smells like power" I don't have to cross a picket line to watch. My inner "Norma Rae" was having trouble with that - I mean really, if the writer writes the words and the words make money somewhere then the writer deserves a piece of the pie. So freakin' simple you dumb-ass greedy weasels in ill fitting expensive suits!

Dave will be back with Robin Williams as a guest. I have loved Dave for years and years. I adore quick, sarcastic people. Add self-deprecating to that and it is sexy, sexy, sexy. Yes - I think Dave is hot.

And then there is Craig Ferguson - Timberlake didn't bring sexy back, Craig was hangin' on to it. Tall, dark, handsome with startling, sparkling eyes. And the silvery gray in his wild hair - my fingers tingle. Oh My! Craig could look like a troll and he'd still be sexy. Talk about quick - this man's mind is lightening. He weaves a web of words down a lovely lane of stories from his beautiful heart and his twisted mind. Then he comes full circle.

I'm thrilled that Craig is doing so well but I must admit it was fun when I felt like I had discovered him. "Craig Kilborn?" folks would ask me. "Kilborn's Scottish!?" - No, No I'd try to explain - and then we'd net out at "Oh, the English guy from Drew Carey"

Blessed insomnia and global marketing. If not for needing to check e-mails from Europe and beyond I never would have developed such bad sleep habits and I may never have discovered "that guy who comes on after Dave"

I'm going to check out Leno and Conan too - just to roll my eyes. Leno isn't too clever WITH writers and Conan is a great writer who can't deliver his own words.

Poor Kimmel - no room on my DVR for him.

"Holy Crackers!" - it's gonna be an interesting night in TV land.