Things the RNC Has Taught Me

Let’s see …

If you’re intelligent – you’re an elitist. Which is actually quite funny. They clearly never looked up the word – it’s a good thing.

If you have a name that rhymes with Osama – you’re a terrorist

If your middle name is Hussein – you’re a Muslim

But wait – I’m confused.

McCain – ties to the IRA?

John – frequents prostitutes?

This is the latest pile of filth out of the RNC. Making its way to a mail box near you.

The party that should be down on its knees begging the American people for forgiveness is at it again. Still.

In other countries this would be considered inciting riot. Provoking civil war.

But hey – it’s America. It’s free speech. It’s business as usual for the RNC.

And once again the American people suffer at the hands of a pack of lying, cheating criminals scared to death that if their guy doesn’t make it into the White House all their secrets will be exposed. All their crimes will come to light.

If you want to read the full text of their mailer you can do so HERE. Or just Google Scum. I’m sure the RNC comes up.

On a lighter note. While trying to keep from imploding between now and 11/4. And trying to remember there is beauty in the world.

Creative Photography and the new Sepia Scenes project are up at THE PHOTO BLOG

And you have until tomorrow (Friday) night to enter this weeks SUNDAY FUNNIES

Peace My Friends. Beware of Your Mailbox.

Just a Little Stressed

Friday was the kind of day that just sucks your soul dry and crushes your spirit.

I was anxious all morning about my 1 PM doctor’s appointment. I just had this nagging feeling that my ankle still wasn’t right. Of course anxiety can cause slips of reason and judgment – I had a few close calls with electrical appliances and the stairs until I decided to just be still til 1.

I have to mention here that people who are NOT handicapped but take up all the handicapped parking spots should have their knee caps beaten with a baseball bat. I volunteer to do it. I had to park in the part of the lot that is on a slope and then I had to walk quite a bit out of my way to get around the steep curb. Only ONE of the five cars parked in the handicapped spots had a proper sticker. As I was leaning against the entrance to recover from the shooting pain in my leg two men in their 30s came waltzing out, at quite a healthy clip and proceeded to heave their fat asses into the Escalade parked right where I was standing. As far as I could see their only handicap was being fat lazy fucks with overly active entitlement glands. Our township has one of the lowest crime rates in the county and yet services are being cut due to budget concerns. Imagine the revenue that could be generated if these people would be ticketed. Most of our patrol cars just sit around or float about doing absolutely nothing all day.

The doctor was running late from surgery so I was left in the waiting room with a nice gentleman in his 60s. We talked about how warm it was for October and other small talk. The radio was on and a clip from Bush’s morning statement about the economy was played. My co-waiter chuckled and mumbled “moron” and I laughed and nodded in agreement. I really wanted to leave it there but …

Him: He (Bush) is useless in this crisis.

Me: Seems every time he speaks the market plunges even more.

Him: My 401K lost over 30%

And we went on for a bit about our savings, our jobs and our torn tendons. At some point in the conversation I noticed his cap said McCain/Palin. It didn’t alter my enjoyment of our conversation, it just made me wonder about his very strong criticism of Bush but I was in pain and tired and had no desire to go there.

Him: Things will change in January.

I said nothing.

Him: McCain knows how to put this country back into the hands it belongs in

Me: I thought you were critical of the Republicans?

Him: No – just Bush.

Me: But McCain is Bush to me, he has voted with Bush 95% of the time. I think McCain is smarter than W and certainly braver given his military service but that’s where the differences stop.

Him: I see you listen to the Clinton News Network

Yet another point where I really wanted the conversation to end. CNN hasn’t been called that in so long. I have gone from thinking this man is worth having an intelligent discussion with to wanting to scream.

I say nothing.

Him: I assume you’re voting for Obama.

Me: I am.

Him: And you like Biden?

Me: He wasn’t my first choice but yes, I have a great deal of respect for him.

Him: That’s good; Obama will be whacked within 3 months if he gets the White House.

First of all –whacked!? Really? Old nerdy looking men wearing socks with their Bermuda shorts really shouldn’t think they’re part of the Sopranos cast.

And it was enough. My stomach turned at his smirk and his look of contempt.

I have said a lot of negative things about McCain and Palin BUT I would NEVER relish their death. Actually there are many times when I have a moment’s sadness at how far from dignified McCain has gone. And I had a momentary human feeling for Palin when she asked Biden “can I call you Joe?” – of course I then felt silly when I saw how she used his name.

I just got (struggled) up and walked to the other side of the room.

Here is where I was going to include some video and links to the political and human insanity of the past few days but this is getting long and I’m getting upset and tired again.

My cast came off only to be replaced by a heavier, stronger, tighter cast. It appears that my knee and ankle are engaged in a game of “counter rotation” and so the more I move about the more the knee causes the ankle to re-injure and re-injure. At least I’m consistent.

I will need to see a knee guy
We’ll need to talk about surgery
I will probably need some form of ankle brace for a long time to come

Blah-Blah-Blah

Enough for now.

I am struggling to be upbeat. I had job interviews scheduled to help offset the fact that every single project I had on the books has been put on hold since the last 700 point dip.

The $475,000 AIG execs spent at the spa could fix most of my troubles. And I’d even use a good part of it to help other people.

Enough for now.

My Saturday did get off to a fantastic start!! My phone rang at 2:37 this morning (they knew I was awake since I had just commented on their “drunken whore” photos) and I was greeted with giggles and outrageous fabulosity from the traveling wonder show that is TT, ETK and CHEEKYMONKEY. Cheeky doesn’t even know me but that in no way deterred her from taking part in our full blown cussing, sharing, how inappropriate can we be conference call.

Thank you Ladies!! And I do mean Ladies – for being the fabulous funny fantastic femmes that you are.

Party On! And Keep Me in the Purse!

So far today I have dissolved into tears 7 times, I had a screaming match with my son over having to ask for every single little fucking thing and I have thrown a coffee mug across a room.

I’m just a tad stressed.

I’ll bounce back, always do.

Finola will be back. I just am not in the mood for her this week.

Two Photos and a Clip

It is a potpourri of stuff this Tuesday.

Ruby Tuesday - Bye Bye Summer

This photo was taken at the closed off entrance to an outdoor cafe on the shore of the Navesink River. During the summer it is open all week. Now just on weekends.


Please click on over HERE for more RED


Anything Sepia - Local Church

The lovely and talented Chica announced a project last Thursday. I don't even know if it's still going on but I'm going to do it anyway.


This is the church my DIL attends. They have several open house days during the year. It is an incredibly beautiful place. All the wood tones just begged for sepia.



Please drop by CHICA’S BLOG. Even if the project is over her blog is beautiful. She is a wonderful photographer.

Let's Go to the Clip

I was watching my local news and they had a clip of the McCain/Palin ticket at a rally in Ohio. Palin said she was looking forward to the VP debate this Thursday. She was looking forward to meeting Joe Biden - she'd been hearing his speeches since she was in the 2nd grade. I truly thought I had it wrong or the station had clipped out of context. Yeah I know - they never do that.

So I searched and found the clip. It is what she said!!

CNN VIDEO

If you can't take the sound of Sarah's voice the comedic portion of her remarks begin at 1:30

So Sarah Palin has heard Biden speak since she was in the 2nd grade. Wow! Senate speeches in grammar school, that is progressive education. How come she's so stupid?

Was she saying Biden is old? How fantastic is that. Uh Sarah dear - turn around and take a look behind you. No No not at the cheerleader in a pantsuit. No No not at your daughter. Take a look at the creepy guy off to the side. The one who looks like he's pimping out all 3 of you. THAT Sarah is the person you're running with. Do you know how old he is?

It did dawn on me that Palin might be saying all of Biden's speeches are stolen. Or repetitive. If that was her intent Sarah honey, play to your crowd. Those folks behind you yucking it up and yelling out over sporting events just ain't bright enough for sarcasm. Call Tina Fey - maybe she'll give you some pointers.

"THERE'S NO SUSPENDING DEMOCRACY!"

I never post this close together but this is just too topical to wait. I hope you'll scroll down and say Hi to Cloris Leachman.

The delightful thing about comedy, good comedy, is that it is rooted in truth. The Loves of My Late Night Life proved that Wednesday.

Christopher Webber from Political-Machine describes David Letterman’s monologue -

McCain was supposed to appear on "The Late Show" tonight but canceled at the last minute to (stage a political stunt) focus with a laser-like intensity on the economy. At the taping this afternoon, Dave showed his unhappiness, and his political savvy -
"You don't suspend your campaign. This doesn't smell right. This isn't the way a tested hero behaves." And he joked: "I think someone's putting something in his metamucil.""He can't run the campaign because the economy is cratering? Fine, put in your second string quarterback, Sarah Palin. Where is she?""What are you going to do if you're elected and things get tough? Suspend being president? We've got a guy like that now!"

It's funny cuz it's true.

Here’s the video of Dave’s monologue


Dave went on during his Top 10 List:

Top Ten Questions People Are Asking the John McCain Campaign
10 - "I just contributed to your campaign -- how do I get a refund?"
9 - "It's Sarah Palin -- does this mean I'm Pars'dent?"
8 - "Can't you solve this by selling some of your homes?"
7 - "Hi, this is Clay Aiken. Is McCain single?"
6 - "Do you still think the fundamentals of our economy are strong, genius?"
5 - "Are you doing all this just to get out of going on Letterman?"
4 - "What would Matlock do?"
3 - "Hillary here -- my schedule is free Friday night"
2 - "Is this just an excuse to catch up on napping?"
1 - "This is President Bush -- what's all this trouble with the economy?”

All of this is especially wonderful to me since McCain showed what a douchebag (Hi Brooklyn) he is by pulling this transparent stunt at the 11th hour – as Dave so gleefully points out – again and again. And the only coverage of Caribou Barbie that I caught was her wagging her Mommy finger at the camera and talking about how the whole country is looking to John McCain for guidance. Bitch Please!

The night continues into Craig Ferguson’s show. I quote him in the title.

Dave is never more sexy to me than when he is saying stuff without saying stuff but making his point crystal clear.

Craig is never more sexy to me than when he is indignant and on one of his incredibly articulate rants.

Here is the link to Craig’s monologue. I could not find a version to embed.
Craig at CBS

Ya know – I made myself sick yesterday – physically, mentally, emotionally sick – over how crass and cold and disgusting McCain/Palin and many of their supporters are. This country lies on the brink of a huge upheaval and they are nothing but dead rock in our way. Unfortunately many of the rocks have far more power and money than they are entitled to – greedy bastards.

BUT – there is always laughter. Laughter heals – Laughter brings people together – and Laughter can carry a message far and wide.

Never Under Estimate Women

I've been seeing and hearing and reading a lot from women about Sarah Palin. A lot of it is discouraging to me. As though the mere fact that she is a woman negates the fact that she's a dangerous, medieval nut case who loves to kill innocent creatures and who, as highlighted in a recent interview with Charlie Gibson, clearly doesn't have the brain power she so firmly believes God gave her when he made her superior to the likes of me.

And to think I was troubled by the Hillary supporters who felt so betrayed by my support of Obama. At least they were supporting someone who had the best interests of this country at heart, even if she had her own best interests in there as well.

Palin is just plain dangerous!

I intended to have a relaxing Friday afternoon. Work on my Wordzzle and my Portrait story and elevate my throbbing foot BUT then KENJU had to go and get me all worked up again. I followed her link to HERE and was floored by this powerful post.

If upon visiting the link you have some form of visceral negative reaction please feel free to come back and tell me. Please don't take it out on my links. I try to spread thoughtful discussion through the internet tubes not hate.

Speaking of hate. Remember that doctored e-mail I got? The one that lied about Obama removing flags from his plane. Well my response to that e-mail has gotten me some righteous hate mail. Threats. God Fearing Folks calling me all kinds of lovely names - "left wing whore" and "nigger lover" are two of my favorites.

I also got some lovely responses thanking me for spreading truth in a respectful manner.

I kept all the e-mail addresses of that long chain and I have already begun to send this letter to all of them. I copied the letter over so as not to reveal links. Again - spread love not hate.

When the hate mail comes in this time I will respond as I always do. I will thank them for voicing their opinion and wish them a good day.

Kindness - like Sarah Palin - kills.

if you'd like to see the fact checking regarding Palin's interview with Gibson along with some video clips of her more recent stupidity check out THINK PROGRESS.ORG

And So They Mock

I’ve watched the RNC all week. I have always watched both conventions. I think it is our responsibility as voters to know everything and to listen to everyone.

As I watched I took some notes for what was going to be a wrap-up post about the convention.

I found some facts showing how Obama’s record and accomplishments were being misrepresented
I was going to share what living in Rudy Guiliani’s NYC was really like and how he has no right to the title of ‘America’s Mayor’ and certainly has not earned the right to make jokes about community service.
I wanted to tell you all that according to the Home Décor section of Lowe’s there are 657 shades of white. I think that’s a low number. I saw far more in the crowd of delegates.

The thing is - this has all been covered. All week I have read the most eloquent and well researched posts from many of my fellow bloggers.

So I got to thinking about the one thing about the convention that really bothered me.

It was the mocking.

From the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
Main Entry: 1mock
Pronunciation: \ˈmäk, ˈmȯk\
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English, from moker
Date: 15th century
transitive verb
1: to treat with contempt or ridicule
2: to disappoint the hopes of

Like bullies who have no other form of communication.
Like dullards who didn’t do their homework and now have no real facts to share.
Like elitists who have nothing but disdain for their fellow citizens.
Like the over-privleged self-entitled who just know they’re superior – they have no real proof of their superiority but it doesn’t stop them from owning it.

The genius that is Karl Rove took the fear of 9/11 and spun it into a wonderful web of control. And so many of us bought into it.

Now the fear-mongers are afraid. More people than ever before are paying attention. More people watched Barack’s speech than ever before. A stadium was filled with thousands of people – all ages, all colors, all types of human experience. All Americans.

Now the fear-mongers are afraid.

They’re so afraid that they steal the words from the very person they mock.

Why? Because his words have power and his words give power to the powerless.

Powerless people with power!?

Now the fear-mongers are afraid.

They promote the value of chauferring children to soccer and hockey games while spitting on the value of community service.

Why? Because they don’t serve their communities. They don’t even know their communities.

They rehash heroic deeds from 40 years ago.

Why? Because they have no new heroic deeds to describe.

They misrepresent and over state their accomplishments.

Why? Because they couldn’t find enough real people to fill 4 days. They couldn’t find enough real Americans to tell stories we could relate to. They couldn’t find enough retired military officers willing to share a stage with them.

Now the fear-mongers are afraid.

The beauty of America has always been idealism in the face of daunting truth.
The beauty of America has always been courage no matter the odds.
The beauty of America has always been our ability to shine a light on the darkest corners.
The beauty of America has always been hope in the face of fear.

And that makes the fear-mongers afraid.

And so they mock.

I took the image from stinkyjournalism.org. I tried to find one wearing lipstick but alas that too is a lie.

While I Respect His Service ...

In the comments on my previous post my buddy MATT-MAN mentions being sick of hearing about McCain's military service. I responded by saying that I am tired of feeling the need to preface anything I say about McCain with "... while I respect his service".

Of course we respect his service and as I said to Matt if that is the ONLY qualification for President then I have at least a dozen guys from the VFW who should be our next leader and I'll gladly drive them down to the White House myself.

See a couple of them can't walk too good and a couple of them can't drive, one of them is blind in one eye, another is deaf. They don't have Cindy's money and McCain doesn't think we should spend "extravagantly" on helping them.

So I will take them to Washington myself, on my own dime!

Each has served, each has suffered and each is a better man ten times over than that war mongering loon who will be gracing our TVs all next week.

DARYL sent me this in my last post. I find it fitting to show this on the day that Obama will speak. It makes for a perfect contrast.

I doubt that the John McCain of years ago would vote for the John McCain of today. So respect his service and let him retire.

I Want My Country Back

As of today – August 14, 2008 – 4,141 Americans have been killed in Iraq.

Four Thousand One Hundred and Forty One

This does not include the deaths of other coalition soldiers, this does not include the deaths in Afghanistan; it does not include the deaths of contractors.

And then there are the estimated 1,252, 595 Iraqi civilians killed as a direct result of our occupation of their country.

Earlier this evening, I sat with mouth wide open and hands shaking as I watched the August 11th episode of THE DAILY SHOW. The guest was RON SUSKIND. His latest book ‘The Way of the World’ has just been released. I listened to Mr. Suskind talk about the White House ordering the CIA to manufacture a memo that would link Sadam Hussein to al-Qaeda. The memo would also connect a few more dots by producing evidence that Muhammad Atta, the 9/11 ring leader, trained in Iraq.

You can read more of the details HERE and HERE


I watched Jon Stewart’s face twitch. I listened to the audience go silent. Jon asks why this isn’t news. Mr. Suskind shrugs – he has put the information out there, Congress has to act.

Congress has to act. What a novel idea.

I’ve stayed away from the whole impeachment discussion. After Kucinich was repeatedly shut down by the other Democrats and virtually ignored by the media I got frustrated. Then when Obama became the nominee I decided I wanted us to move forward. It’s very dangerous to get complacent. Now is not the time to enjoy a moment’s victory. The forces of evil never rest.

After watching the Daily Show episode I went outside. A huge thunderstorm had just blown through and I hoped the air would feel clean. My neighbor strolls over. After a few minutes of storm related talk he nods in the direction of my car – “So you added another Obama sticker”. Yes I did. “I don’t feel like quibbling over Obama” I tell him. He asks why. I start to tell him about the memo, about Suskind’s book. He interrupts – “that’s hard to believe” he tells me, “not one of the news shows has mentioned it”.

Of course it hasn’t been mentioned. We are all coping with the far more devastating news that John Edwards couldn’t keep it in his pants.

What’s a few thousand soldiers and hundreds of thousands of Iraqis when we must get to the bottom of why men cheat.

I’m so disgusted by my country. Not just its government, its people. I’m so fucking sick and tired of how lazy and stupid we are. For every Kucinich there are a thousand yokels waving flags and watching their President romp around China. While tanks roll further into Georgia this asshole plays volleyball. While a 23 year old soldier from NYC is being blown to bits by an IED in Sadr City this piece of garbage is dancing in his seat at the opening ceremonies; ceremonies being hosted by one of the most violent and oppressive governments on the planet.

Not one single death had to happen. We occupied a country because Bush and Co. wanted a war. There are pieces of evidence all over the place that this war is a lie.

People died. People continue to die.

The world does not trust us. I do not trust us.

And STILL people try to tell me they “don’t trust” Obama. He “isn’t ready to lead”. He “needs more experience”.

And STILL people are talking about Edwards. It’s “disgraceful”. It’s “shameful”. His wife is sick and he cheated. What kind of person does that? He shouldn’t go to the convention. How will this effect Obama.

John McCain will be standing arm in arm with a war criminal and we’ll be wondering about the guy who screwed the pretty girl because she was taking his picture.

John McCain hugged and kissed a man who can sleep at night and tap dance in the Rose Garden while our children and Iraqi children die. They die because he’s greedy and vile. They die because he’s hateful and power hungry. They die because he’s a drug addicted alcoholic with a C- average who wants to show his Daddy he’s a big deal. They die because he believes his pitiful Born-Again Christian ass is the only ass worthy of living. Fuck the Muslims! Kill Them All!

As McCain sang so cheerily – “Bomb Bomb Bomb – Bomb Bomb Iran”.

I took the link to Mr. Suskind’s website and e-mailed it to my Senators and to my Congressman.

I don’t know what else to do.

But I’m thinking about it.

I want my country back.

The Red White ... (And Black) and Blue ... And Black and White

It is a world without context.

I got an e-mail Saturday morning. It was a forward and that should have tipped me off but it was from a friend who is usually OK about e-mails – she sends great animal pictures or some silly joke.

The subject line of this e-mail was ‘Where is the American flag’. Yet another warning but again I decided it was most likely some lovely series of photos – you know, the flag created by colored crystals on the beach or a hot air balloon all red, white and blue – drifting across the majesty of the Northwest.

We have become fixated with the flag and not in a good way. Since 9/11/2001 flag waving has turned into a way of communication and a way of self-righteous judgment. It has gotten so out of hand, this meaning that has the wrong meaning, that I took down the flag that flew above my home. It no longer stood for just simply being proud. It said you supported Bush, it said you hated “them” – all of them. Those who are not Christian, those whose skin is darker, those who have different ways of loving people, those who speak different languages…

So I open the e-mail and the first line is:
Disgrace

Followed by:
This has been verified by snopes

Ahhhh – they have learned that if you give people the idea that you did a little homework …

If you claim to verify they will believe. The field of bullshit.

Under this is a picture of Senator Obama’s campaign plane.
Under that a picture of the plane before the Obama campaign had it refurbished.

And then a tiny paragraph – the highlights are:

he decided to remove the American flag from the tail...

Obama is such a despicable human being.

Please forward this if you're not ashamed of our country and our flag & if think this is a disgrace.

If Obama is elected president of the United States we are in trouble. If you think the Liberals can lead our country just look what Pelosi and Reid have accomplished for us.

All of this is in font size ranging from 14 to 18 pt and in red, blue, and green. Yes green. I guess they couldn’t figure out how to do white on a white background and they didn’t know how to change the background.

The bad grammar and missing words are verbatim. Can’t really stop and fix things when you’re in the grips of flag fever.

The thing is – all they’ve done is redo (badly) the original e-mail – origins unknown – and then sent it out into the world claiming it had been verified. They didn’t actually show the verification.

The photo of the Obama plane is taken from an angle that obscures the fact that there is indeed an American flag on the plane – right next to the plane’s call letters.

The flag he removed – personally I suppose while dressed as a Muslim terrorist – is actually the logo of North American airlines – the corporation he got the plane from.

The full snopes verification also shows McCain’s plane – no American flag in sight. Which is fine with me since I do not suffer from flag fever and prefer to choose my President based on ideals and policy, not airplane décor.

I also wish they could explain how the US will be in trouble if Obama is elected. Will flags everywhere just suddenly disappear on Inauguration Day? Oh – and we’re not in trouble right now?

Then there is the ‘L’ word.

No not Lesbian although that is a close second.

Liberal. We soldier hating, flag destroying, gay loving, illegal immigrant worshipping – uh – um – infidels. That’s the ticket. And what could possibly be more American than calling people who don’t agree with you names and casting doubt upon their character. And trying to frighten people into hating the same people you hate.

I will give them one thing – Pelosi and Reid have accomplished nothing for us. Well maybe raising the minimum wage for the first time in ten years. And Pelosi did recently explain clearly that there is actually land/water set aside to drill in but the Republicans don’t want to drill there first because the oil companies won’t make a fortune developing new drilling sites.

Has the war stopped, is Bush and Cheney and Rove in jail, has torture stopped, are those being held without a voice freed …

NO

And we come full circle.

The Democrats are afraid of looking like soldier hating, flag destroying … you get the picture. So spreading fear and lies works. It’s a lot like – what’s the word – oh yes – terrorism. But now I’m confused. Aren’t we fighting terrorism? I guess we are, just not in our own backyard.

Taken on its own this e-mail is nothing to get all riled up about. It’s nothing compared to “secret Muslim” and constantly saying ‘Osama’ instead of ‘Obama’ and then claiming to have had a brain fart. It’s nothing compared to showing Cindy McCain looking like she just baked a dozen cookies while showing Michelle Obama looking like she just ripped off the head of a white baby. Since Michelle is animated and engaged she is usually shown with her mouth open and her eyes all afire. Cindy, bless her heart, always looks so composed. I wonder if she takes the same meds that Laura does.

So why did this e-mail get me going? Going so that I found the entire SNOPES ARTICLE and sent it to every single e-mail address in the original.

It came on the same morning as did the last time I will ever allow someone to tell me they won’t/can’t vote for Senator Obama because they “don’t trust him”.

As the white mother of a black son I speak the code. If you “don’t trust” a black man and you can’t explain why then it is simply because he is black. I have watched my son being watched in stores. I once had a salesperson confide to me, snickering, that they were watching “that big black kid” because “you can’t trust them”. I was too disgusted and weary to enjoy watching the top of her head explode when the untrustworthy big black kid turned and called me Ma.

I am better than this, many of us are better than this. I don’t care how exhausting it becomes. I don’t care if it forever changes friendships (as it has with the person who sent me the Saturday morning e-mail). I absolutely believe that we are fighting for our lives. I don’t want my future grandchildren to go to Iraq as part of the 100 year war. I don’t want to see any more abandoned homes in my neighborhood. I don’t want to feel sad about the way we look to the world.

And I don’t want to be silent when an honorable, accomplished, decent man is disrespected because of his name and his skin color.

I imagine my future grandchildren running for office one day.

My future white/black/Christian/Jewish/French/Irish/Russian/Greek/African/Native American grandchildren.

I will open a can of the fiercest whoop ass known to humanity on anyone who plans to block the path.

In Honor of Uncle Lee

"We were raised by wolves."

Every family has favorite lines, those things that someone said at a party, at Thanksgiving dinner, during a drunken wedding toast. These lines get repeated and eventually say so much to (and for) all those who were there the first time they were uttered.

At my sister’s wake people, well meaning I’m sure, kept asking why she had killed herself. I guess to find a way to wrap their minds around it or to simply have something to say. At one point my baby brother told one of the poor well meaning inquisitors …

"We were raised by wolves."

I fucking hate him for having sole credit for one of the best lines ever – in a family of sarcastic bastards no less. How dare he assume my role! I’m the oldest, I took the most crap, I should get all the best lines …

Actually I’m glad that line is his. He keeps it all in and I know that line is often the only thing he needs to hear to keep the top from popping off. Sometimes he’ll call me and simply say “So Di, how were we raised?”

"We were raised by wolves."

And on we go …

I’m not going to go into a lot of family drama anecdotes – you’ll just have to wait for the book. My father was a drunken abusive nut case, my mother was clinically depressed – she slept while her husband abused her children and her oldest child tried to raise them and protect them.

Neighbors would call the police, my aunts and uncles would beg her to throw my father out but in the end nothing happened and we did our best to survive.

As I got older I did what many children from abusive homes do – I drank, I experimented with drugs, I was promiscuous. When the people who are supposed to love you more than life itself clearly don’t you have very little self esteem and you act out.

Let me tell you I was one hell of a ball of rage and crazed bravado. I was very bright, very articulate, and I looked older than I was.

During this time I would hang out in Manhattan a lot. Bensonhurst, Brooklyn didn’t hold anything for me. I was a teenager in the late 60s and “the city” was the place to be. Lucky for me I loved books and art and theater. I would spend all day at museums and the “big library”. My Mom’s brother, Uncle Johnny, worked for a sightseeing company and I’d go by his post in midtown and he’d put me on the tour bus or give me money for a Broadway matinee. Uncle Johnny had his issues, all my aunts and uncles did, they were the elders of a family full of people who didn’t talk about anything. He’d ask me if I was “OK” and I could always tell by the look in his eyes that he really wanted me to say “Yes” and I did. At this point I had given up on the idea that adults were any more powerful than I was, in many ways I knew better than they did.

Uncle Johnny had a roommate, they shared a wonderful apartment full of books and music and art on the Upper West Side. Uncle Lee was the coolest guy I had ever met. He looked like a movie star, he could sing and dance and when he asked you a question he waited for an answer. He looked into your eyes when you spoke.

Uncle Johnny and Uncle Lee didn’t spend much time with the rest of the family. It wasn’t until I sought them out that I got to know them. I didn’t realize at first that they were lovers; I didn’t really understand what gay was. I barely understood straight sex even though I was having it all the time. My understanding of the world was very closed minded Bensonhurst mixed with an episode of ‘Cops’ shot in the worst trailer park you could imagine.

Since Uncle Lee worked nights – he was in the theater! – I spent a lot of time with him during the day. He’d take me to lunch, he’d go with me to see a play, he’d get me books and then ask me about them after I read them. He convinced me to be more careful – he told me I was too smart to treat myself the way I did.

Years later I learned that Uncle Lee tried to get involved in helping me, and my brothers and sister. Since he wasn’t “family” he didn’t get very far and Uncle Johnny couldn’t or wouldn’t back him up. I don’t blame Johnny – there was so much insanity going on at so many levels in the family. And how much can you do when your sister, the mother of the children you’re trying to protect, keeps telling everyone that nothing is wrong.

Uncle Lee is always there in my memories – I’ll read a book and wonder if he’d like it, I’ll hear a Broadway tune and think of him humming along, I’ll take a photo and wonder if he’d see something in it. I loved that most about him – he saw things, he paid attention, he was invested in the world.

Yesterday I thought of Uncle Lee and I was so furious and so frustrated.

In my daily need to know what’s going on in the world I came across this –

An excerpt from John McCain’s NY times interview:

Q: President Bush believes that gay couples should not be permitted to adopt children. Do you agree with that?
Mr. McCain: I think that we’ve proven that both parents are important in the success of a family so, no I don’t believe in gay adoption.
Q: Even if the alternative is the kid staying in an orphanage, or not having parents.
Mr. McCain: I encourage adoption and I encourage the opportunities for people to adopt children I encourage the process being less complicated so they can adopt as quickly as possible. And Cindy and I are proud of being adoptive parents.
Q: But your concern would be that the couple should be a traditional couple
Mr. McCain: Yes.

Really Mr. McCain? Mom and Dad/male and female/boy and girl – are the only way a child can be raised successfully? Really?

I’ll spare you all the quotes where McCain tried to back peddle. He basically said that when all else wasn’t available then he guessed it would be better for a child to be with gay parents than no parents. What a guy! A humanitarian even!

I don’t know what might have been if Uncle Lee and Uncle Johnny were married. Hell they weren’t even out. Lee was always the roommate. Would Uncle Lee have had more say? I assume so. All the other spouses did. Would Uncle Johnny have been happier if he could have lived out loud with the person he loved? I’m sure he would have been.

What I do know is that Uncle Lee was a huge influence in my young crazy life. He saw things in me that I assumed were of no value and he made them important. I was important. He wanted me to be safe, he wanted me to be happy and he tried his best in an impossible situation to do all he could for me.

And that is a parent.

So Mr. McCain – in honor of Uncle Lee – I respectfully wish to tell you to go fuck yourself and the dinosaur you rode in on.

(the image is from familiesjoinedbylove.com)

And on the 5th - Do Something

I spent a big part of today (Thursday the 3rd) at the VFW post.

We all got to talking about Independence Day and patriotism.

One of guys mentioned how sick he was of flag waving and bumper ribbons and endless talk of Obama wearing or not wearing a lapel pin. He’s having a really hard time with the VA and would much rather hear about that. He can’t pay his bills and he’s terribly worried about his daughter and her kids – her husband is on his second tour and she’s having a rough time holding it all together.

"Our country is not the only thing to which we owe our allegiance. It is also owed to justice and to humanity. Patriotism consists not in waving the flag, but in striving that our country shall be righteous as well as strong." – James Bryce

When he mentioned not being able to pay his bills one of the others talked about how hard it was to stick it out with his part-time job. He needed it to pay for gas and heating oil and he was damned if he was going to lose his house at this point in his life. He wondered aloud who was responsible for this mess.

“In any free society where terrible wrongs exist, some are guilty - all are responsible”. Abraham Heschel

I said I was sick of looking backwards, unless there was going to be impeachment, I’d rather look forward and hang on to some hope for things to get better. My second job is killing me too.

“Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.” ~Lin Yutang

We drifted for a spell into a piss and moan session about gas prices and then I brought up the need to explore and invest in alternative fuel and one of the other guys talked about how it would make sense if there was help to buy a hybrid, to install solar panels. So many of us want to do these things and can’t afford to. One of the less free thinking guys said we should just drill everywhere and anywhere. A few of us tried to bring up coastal erosion and the importance of sea life and plant life but he just wanted the price of gas to go down.

“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” – Abraham Lincoln

Someone asked what McCain’s stand on coastal drilling was and I laughed and said I assumed he believed whatever Chuck Norris told him to believe. A few chuckles, a few more chuckles than usual – they’re used to me. Plus I make great Italian food and that gets you a lot of airtime.

“McCain or Obama, they both suck, liars and self serving bastards – I don’t trust any of them” – anonymous veteran sitting next to Dianne.

"All men profess honesty as long as they can. To believe all men honest would be folly. To believe none so is something worse." - John Quincy Adams

The beer came out but I declined. I had to drive two of the guys home and I’d already taken a pain killer for my back. I was asked about my ongoing battle with the insurance company but I wanted the mood to stay mellow so I just shrugged.

“Healthcare is falling apart, those ****ing illegals are taking this whole country down” – our town’s version of Lou Dobbs

I suggested that much of the blame for the state of healthcare rested with the large corporations that bought up hospitals and with the drug companies and the insurance conglomerates. Someone else mentioned that virtually all of the men he had served with had been born outside the US or were first generation American.

"And how stands the city on this winter night? More prosperous, more secure, and happier than it was 8 years ago. But more than that: After 200 years, two centuries, she still stands strong and true on the granite ridge, and her glow has held steady no matter what storm. And she's still a beacon, still a magnet for all who must have freedom, for all the pilgrims from all the lost places who are hurtling through the darkness, toward home." – Ronald Reagan

I mentioned that my business was better at the moment; fewer projects were going to India and China now that years of quality issues were beginning to have noticeable effects on data validity. A few of the guys got all riled up about other countries taking our jobs and as often happens the people of those countries came under attack. I pointed out that it was American corporations getting huge incentives to establish offshore offices. I deal with the workers in these offices – they’re not getting paid fairly and they’re not getting benefits.

"He is a poor patriot whose patriotism does not enable him to understand how all men everywhere feel about their altars and their hearthstones, their flag and their fatherland." – Harry Emerson Fosdick

“So you’re gonna vote for Obama?” asked Lou Dobbs. I said I was. “And you’re sure he can be trusted?” I said I was. “And you think he can make things better?” I said I did.

“I’ll never be able to handle a President named Barack Obama” – the last statement from Lou Dobbs before the beer took over.

“My parents shared not only an improbable love; they shared an abiding faith in the possibilities of this nation. They would give me an African name, Barack, or blessed, believing that in a tolerant America your name is no barrier to success.” Barack Obama

It was getting late and I sensed an all night poker game and PC porn fest was just dying to break out as soon as “the lady” left. On the way to the car one of the guys draped his arm around my shoulder …

“That’s the trouble today babe, nobody does anything. Have a great 4th kid. And maybe on the 5th we’ll all put down the flags we’re waving and do something” – my buddy J – 40 years as a soldier.

I got the image from Wikipedia – It is Joseph Ambrose, an 86-year-old WW1 veteran, attending the dedication day parade for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. He is holding the flag that covered the casket of his son, who was killed in the Korean War.